U.S. Seals II

When I decided to see this movie, I was under the impression that it was an action movie. After about 5 minutes I was convinced that this had to be a comedy. Stupid one-liners like "We're warriors, we can't be held to the normal standard", or "No regret, only honor" made me certain that it was. I could not believe that anyone would make a movie like this, without it being a comedy. I first thought it was a good comedy, very subtle and not too slapstick.

Then it started dawning on me. It wasn't actually funny, just stupid. I checked back to imdb.com to see, and it being listed as an action movie, and not a comedy, was probably the funniest thing about it.

From the ludicrous (Adj. "Laughable or hilarious because of obvious absurdity or incongruity.") camera-angles to the boring and unoriginal plot, over to the choreography that has to had been done by a couple of monkeys, this movie was sheer torture to watch, and I feel that my time on this earth is valuable, and not worth wasting on filth like this.

It is a waste of time and money, unless you feel like watching a good example of how NOT to make a movie.

After watching movies like Hard Boiled, The Killer, Saving Private Ryan, and the mini-series called Band of Brothers, you would think that the standards of action-scenes had been raised, above this stereotypical nonsense which is closer to the early 80s low-budget era.

Finally, I just have to mention this; what was with all those swoosh-sounds? A guy raises an arm and you hear a swoosh-sound, like a big log has been swung past your ear. What the heck?! Same thing when a guy gets into a car, or someone turns around. Stupid stupid stupid.

I could probably point out dozens of examples of how this movie is both unbelievably unrealistic and stupid, but quite frankly, I think I've wasted enough time on this crap.

Did any of you guys get a feeling like this movie was made by the people that made Power Rangers? I mean the style is very similar except for the more intense violence. Hell I bet one of the actors was probably from the Power Rangers show.

Nu Image were once the most prolific producers of bland action films for the video market. They followed in the footsteps of Cannon films and PM Entertainment, emerging in the early 90s with their own stable of stars and distinctive low-budget aesthetics. The identifiable Nu Image style was a result of their reliance on dated methods of filmmaking, recycled themes and their recourse to South African and Eastern European production locations. U.S. Seals 2 is just one of many military action films made to this formula and it is the manner by which it exceeded expectation that has led many to highlight it as a minor classic in American action film history. Director Isaac Florentine has shown a great deal of promise in his career so far, despite failing to produce a 100% satisfactory product in my opinion, his work is notable for the injection of Hong Kong-style action choreography. U.S. Seals 2 was something of a breakthrough in his career and still one of his best films. An in name/theme only sequel to a typically dire Nu Image production, U.S. Seals 2 manages to surprise and amaze with its fight choreography, courtesy of Andy Cheng, a former member of Jackie Chan's exemplary stunt team. The film has many flaws, action clichés are present in abundance and the story is merely an excuse; the plot is a hybrid of Thunderball (Terence Young, 1965), The Rock (Michael Bay, 1996), Enter the Dragon (Robert Clouse, 1973), Broken Arrow (John Woo, 1996) and M-1:2 (John Woo, 2000). The characters and their actions are all drawn from familiar paradigms; from the hero who re-enters military service to face an old adversary, to the dying soldier who pleads for a message to be passed to his beloved. While some may be unable to stifle laughter during a viewing, Florentine and Cheng (co-starring and serving as 2nd unit director) deliver undeniably impressive action scenes that ensure this is a must see. If you approach it in the correct frame of mind you will applaud the creativity and forgive the flaws in logic. This is a martial arts film that requires an excuse to unite a team of skilled professionals to perform almost super-human feats. As such the plot is constructed on the premise that the villain is hiding out on an abandoned island, clouded in a methane gas. This means that guns are not permitted, requiring hand-to-hand combat. Genius. Unfortunately the concept is weakened by the fact that chains and bladed weapons are clashed with aplomb. But oversights in common sense just make this even more fun!

Ok lets start with the obvious, this movie is bad. Awful script, awful acting, unbelievably atrocious dialogue, budget the size of a car insurance advert and you could go on and on about how awful the film is.... but you would be wrong.

Just like a nugget of gold wrapped in layers and layers .... and layers of mud, get beneath the surface (really far beneath the surface)there is treasure to be found.

Lets start with the premise which is just an excellent excuse for some martial arts action. Ok ridiculously insane and evil bad guy has nukes and where is he launching them from? an island where the nuclear fallout of a past conflict would make a single gunshot ignite the whole island. (I am sure there is a reason why launching the nukes won't but I can't remember). So good guy puts together a crack squad of martial arts experts with dodgy pasts and different weapon specialities and prepares to kick ass. The film quickly reaches high octane stupidness, with hundreds of people battling it out in surprisingly well choreographed fight scenes.

The complete over the topness of the film gives it an infectious fun feel, a film which is the equivalent to a whole day spent in the pub with your best mates. This film is incredibly funny. Regardless of action taken a huge swishing noise accompanies it. I need to adjust my glasses (swish), I am going stand up (swish swish), I am walking (swish swish swish swish). The dialogue is hilarious and the fight scenes are sometimes outrageously funny, especially the closing fight scenes which are over the top brilliance. Sure its all unintentional funniness but its still funny.

Yes over the top martial arts violence, strippers and swearing. This is an excellent example of must watch with beer and mates category of action films.

In short its not big, its certainly not clever, in fact its not even any good. It deserves 2 or 3 it gets hmm 7.

I'm surprised at the number of people who have bashed this movie to pieces. They base their opinions off of logic too, which is completely inappropriate for this type of movie. Yes, the script is badly written, there are a lot of factual errors, this isn't an accurate portrayal of SEAL type stuff, yes all that is obvious.

The reason why this movie exists is to present Hong Kong style action to America. Former Jackie Chan Stunt Team member, Andy Cheng designs some of the best fight scenes in recent years. While CHARLIE'S ANGELS: FULL THROTTLE, TOMB RAIDER 2, and THE MUSKETEER suffer from having no sense of action, US SEALS knows how to deliver the goods. It's interesting to note how a lot of weapon-work was employed in the action scenes. I was expecting more hand to hand style combat. The movie takes a while to get going, but the fights are well worth waiting for. Especially in a scene where the good guys are confronted by 100 henchmen, and have to fight all of them off. It was reminiscent of the big action sequence in TAI-CHI MASTER (1993).

The director Issac Florentine is one of the few people working in the video market who does a good job. Unlike a lot of other directors, he takes pride in his job, and does his best to make cool movies. (COLD HARVEST and SPECIAL FORCES)

It's safe to say though, that this movie is only meant for people who like lots of cool action. Everyone else is better off staying away.