- Ida: [everyone sees a woman with a big booty in little shorts] See now if a plane crashed, we could eat for days.
- Chanel: I know Botox Barbie didn't just call me ignorant!
- James: [Ida's dancing] Don't shake that baby loose.
- Gina Norris: Yeah, we'll get hit with indecency charges up in here.
- Terri: Hey Gina, is that monkeyfish, catbread lady going to be here today?
- Mrs. Towner: When did y'all get to be so integrated around here?
- Lynn: This morning!
- Mercedes: [after finding out Lynn would be working in the shop] You tryin' to do a little too much around here, OK? You ain't trying to lighten up the place, you's trying to *whiten* up the place! So here's what I'm gonna do, Gina. I'm gonna let you and little miss Blue Ridge here have the shop. Do your thing, go on girl, do your thing because I can't be a part of this, OK. Porsche, are you rollin'?
- Porsche: Yeah, I ain't gonna be able to do it either.
- Lynn: Gina, I didn't mean to run them out.
- Gina Norris: [to Lynn] Don't worry about it, better we get rid of the bad apples now. Besides, them girls got too much attitude - I was ready to snap the shit out of one of them.
- Gina Norris: [to the other stylists] Alright, anybody else leavin'? Because this white bitch is staying!
- Lynn: Well, how about when you're making mad, passionate love and he reaches his climax, and that one tear rolls down his face like Denzel Washington in "Glory?"
- Gina Norris: Then you got him whipped!
- Ida: She had to say Denzel... she couldn'ta said Brad Pitt. Hell, she coulda said Bozo the Clown!
- Chanel: Is that a purse?
- James: It's a man bag!
- Ida: A man bag?
- James: Yeah, it's like the hottest new accessory.
- Ida: You got some man lipstick in that bag?
- DJ Helen: Lord! It is hotter than a jalapeno's coochie out there!
- Jorge: You are going to fall flat on your ass.
- Gina Norris: Well, I've got some cushion. Wanna kiss it? I didn't think so!
- Gina Norris: What's with the Kmart thing, huh? Is it cuz I'm black? IS IT CUZ I'M BLACK?
- Willie: You just got knocked out, and I got it on film, and I'm sellin' it in da Hood for 14.99
- Joanne: Because statements like that just personify your ignorance as it pertains to the topic of beauty.
- Vanessa: Does this mean I have to quit school now?
- Gina Norris: No, why would you say that?
- Vanessa: Because you got fired.
- Gina Norris: I didn't get fired, I quit, there's a big difference.
- Hollerin' Helen: Hit me on my websited, www.how to shake a nigga.com
- [whole beauty shop howls]
- Lynn: I thought you couldn't say the N word on the radio.
- Chanel: No, see she can say it, you just can't.
- Gina Norris: You know what, you could be black, white, ghetto past, no ghetto past, ain't nobody using the N word up in here, and no bitches and hoes either, except for the ones that don't tip.
- Gina Norris: Where'd you get that money?
- Darnelle: Gina, you know I don't do like that. But if a guy wants to pay my bills, I'ma let him pay my bills.
- Gina Norris: You know what, you need to shut up because you're sounding really stupid right now. You are lazy, you're wasting your life and you're wasting my time. Why don't you take your money to go buy a clue?
- Paulette: [talking to Gina about about her daughter Darnelle] I swear, it's more trouble havin' her than makin' her. See your father-in-law had a crooked one. I had to walk around the corner just to get on it.
- Chanel: I think what my girl said is that she wants you and your little tetherball titties to leave her man alone!
- Chanel: [after James asks Lyn to dance] Oh, who the hell cares? He's gay as Peter Pan on a pair of ice skates!
- Ms. Josephine: [James and Lyn kiss] He's gay all right - he's happy as hell!
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