Citations

Kung Fu Panda

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Po: Maybe I should just quit and go back to making noodles.
Oogway: Quit, don't quit... Noodles, don't noodles... You are too concerned about what was and what will be. There is a saying: yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.

Mr. Ping: The secret ingredient is... nothing!
Po: Huh?
Mr. Ping: You heard me. Nothing! There is no secret ingredient.
Po: Wait, wait... it's just plain old noodle soup? You don't add some kind of special sauce or something?
Mr. Ping: Don't have to. To make something special you just have to believe it's special.
[Po looks at the scroll again, and sees his reflection in it]
Po: There is no secret ingredient...

Po: The Furious Five! You're so much bigger than your action figures! Except you, Mantis. You're about the same.

Oogway: One often meets his destiny on the road he takes to avoid it.

Oogway: My friend, the panda will never fulfill his destiny, nor you yours, until you let go of the illusion of control.
Shifu: Illusion?
Oogway: Yes.
[points at peach tree]
Oogway: Look at this tree, Shifu. I cannot make it blossom when it suits me, nor make it bear fruit before its time.
Shifu: But there are things we *can* control.
[kicks the tree so that peaches fall]
Shifu: I can control when the fruit will fall!
[he slices a peach and throws the pit to the ground]
Shifu: I can control where to plant the seed! That is no illusion, Master!
Oogway: Ah, yes. But no matter what you do, that seed will grow to be a peach tree. You may wish for an apple or an orange, but you will get a peach.
Shifu: But a peach cannot defeat Tai Lung!
Oogway: [folding dirt over the peach pit] Maybe it *can*, if you are willing to guide it, to nurture it. To believe in it.
Shifu: But how? How? I need your help, master!
Oogway: No, you just need to believe. Promise me, Shifu. Promise me you will believe.
Shifu: I... I will try.

[first lines]
Po: Legend tells of a legendary warrior whose kung fu skills were the stuff of legend.

Oogway: There are no accidents.
Shifu: [sighs] Yes, I know. You said that already. Twice.
Oogway: Well, that was no accident either.
Shifu: Thrice.

Po: [checking to make sure Shifu is okay after his fight with Tai Lung] Master! Shifu! Shifu, are you okay?
Shifu: [coughs] Po. You're alive!... Or we're both dead.
Po: No, Master I didn't die. I defeated Tai Lung!
Shifu: You did?
[Po nods and smiles]
Shifu: Wow. It is as Oogway foretold, you are the Dragon Warrior. You have brought peace to this valley and... and to me. Thank you, thank you Po. Thank you, thank you.
[slowly lays his head back down, seemingly dead]
Po: No! No no no, don't die, Shifu please!
Shifu: I'm not dying, you idiot!
[he catches himself]
Shifu: Ah, Dragon Warrior. I am simply at peace.
[lays down and folds his hands together, smiling]
Shifu: Finally.
Po: Ooh, so um, I should... stop talking?
Shifu: If you can.
[Po lies down next to Shifu; long pause, then]
Po: Wanna get something to eat?
Shifu: [sighs] ... Yeah.

Po: He was so deadly, in fact, that his enemies would go blind from over-exposure to pure awesomeness!

Tai Lung: [exhausted after fighting Po] You... can't defeat me! You... you're just a big... fat... panda!
[He throws a weak punch, Po catches his hand by the finger]
Po: I'm not *a* big fat panda. I'm *the* big fat panda.
[he raises his pinkie]
Tai Lung: [gasps] The Wuxi finger hold!
Po: Oh, you know this hold?
Tai Lung: You're bluffing. You're bluffing! Shifu didn't teach you that!
Po: Nope. I figured it out. Skidoosh.
[he flexes his pinkie and a golden shockwave ripples out over the valley]

Shifu: [intercepting Po, who is fleeing the temple after learning he has to face Tai Lung soon] You cannot leave! A real warrior never quits!
Po: Watch me!
[tries to run around Shifu]
Po: Come on! How am I supposed to beat Tai Lung? I can't even beat you to the stairs!
Shifu: You will beat him because you are the Dragon Warrior!
[pokes Po in his stomach]
Po: You don't believe that!
[Shifu swipes at his hand with Oogway's stick]
Po: You never believed that! From the first moment I got here, you've been trying to get rid of me!
[Shifu knocks him to the ground]
Shifu: Yes! I was! But now I ask you to trust in your master as I have come to trust in mine.
Po: You're not my master. And I'm not the Dragon Warrior.
Shifu: Then why didn't you quit? You knew I was trying to get rid of you, yet you stayed!
Po: Yeah, I stayed. I stayed, because every time you threw a brick at my head, or said I smelled, it *hurt*; but it could never hurt more than every day of my life just being *me*! I *stayed* because I thought, if anyone can change me, can make me... *not* me, it was you! The greatest kung fu teacher in all of China!
Shifu: But I can change you! I *can* turn you into the Dragon Warrior! And I will!
Po: Come on! Tai Lung is on his way here right now! And even if it takes him a hundred years to get here, how are *you* gonna change *this* into the Dragon Warrior? Huh? How? How? How!
Shifu: I don't know!
[sighs]
Shifu: I don't know.
Po: [sighs] That's what I thought.

Po: There is no charge for awesomeness... or attractiveness.

Oogway: Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery, but Today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.

[Po slurps up noodles, one ends up draped on his nose like Shifu's mustaches. Everyone starts chuckling]
Po: What?
Mantis: Oh, nothing... Master Shifu.
Po: Oh, yeah, yeah.
[imitating Shifu]
Po: You will never be the Dragon Warrior, unless you lose 500 pounds, and brush your teeth!
[everyone except Tigress laughs]
Po: What is that noise you're making? Laughter? I never heard of it! Work hard, panda, and maybe someday, you will have ears like mine.
[he holds two bowls over his head to look like Shifu's ears]

Po: [looking around at the historical artifacts in the palace] Wow! I've only seen paintings of that painting!

Tai Lung: Who are you?
Po: Buddy, I... am the Dragon Warrior!
[bows over, panting from the stairs]
Tai Lung: [incredulous] You?
[laughs]
Tai Lung: He's a panda! You're a panda! What are you gonna do, big guy? Sit on me?
Po: Don't tempt me.

Tai Lung: The Wuxi finger hold!
Po: Oh, you know this hold?
Tai Lung: You're bluffing. You're bluffing! Shifu didn't teach you that.
Po: Nope. I figured it out. Skadoosh!

Tigress: Shifu loved Tai Lung like he had never loved anyone before... or since. And now, he has a chance to make things right. To train the true Dragon Warrior. And he's stuck with you. A big, fat, panda, who treats it like a joke.
[Po makes a sudden funny face]
Tigress: Oh that is it!
[she lunges at Po]
Mantis: Wait, my fault! I accidentally tweaked his facial nerve!
[Po falls to the ground revealing a lot of needles in his back]
Mantis: And may... have also stopped his heart.

Po: The Sword of Heroes! Said to be so sharp you can get cut just by looking at - Ow!

[after completing his training]
Shifu: You have done well, Panda.
Po: Done well? Done well? Ha, I've done awesome!
[Elbows Shifu]
Shifu: The sign of a true hero is humility. But, yes, you have done...
[elbows Po, causing him to stagger]
Shifu: ... awesome.
[They laugh]

Po: Skadoosh!

[Tai-Lung's nerve strikes are only tickling Po]
Po: [laughing] Stop! I'm gonna pee!

Tigress: [seeing Po bounce down the palace steps] If he's smart, he won't come back up those steps.
Monkey: But, he will.
Viper: He's not gonna quit, is he?
Mantis: He's not gonna quit bouncing, I'll tell you that.

Tigress: One would think that Master Oogway would choose someone who actually knew kung fu.
Crane: Yeah, or could at least touch his toes.
Monkey: Or even see his toes.

Oogway: There are no accidents.

Oogway: [walking towards Po] Ah! I see that you have found the Sacred Peach Tree of Heavenly Wisdom!
Po: [Po turns around with a lot of peaches stuffed in his mouth] Is that what this is? I'm so sorry! I just thought it was a regular peach tree!
Oogway: I understand. You eat when you are upset.
Po: Upset? I'm not upset. Why, what makes you think I'm upset?
Oogway: So why *are* you upset?
Po: [sighs] I probably sucked more today than anybody in the history of kung fu. In the history of China. In the history of sucking!

Shifu: Let us begin.
Po: What? Well, uh, I don't know if I can do *all* those moves...
Shifu: [chuckles] Well, we'll never know unless we try, will we?
Po: Well, maybe we could start out with something more at, you know, my level.
Shifu: And what level is that?
Po: Uh, well, I'm not a master but, let's just say zero, level zero.
Shifu: [chuckles] There is no such thing as level zero.
Po: Well, what about that?
[He indicates a small dummy]
Shifu: That? We use that for training children, and for propping the door open when it's hot. But, if you insist...

Po: [breathing heavily] I know you're trying to be all mystical and Kung Fu-ey, but could you at least tell me where we're going?

Tigress: It is said that the Dragon Warrior can survive for months at a time on nothing but the dew of a single ginko leaf and the energy of the universe.
Po: I guess my body doesn't know I'm the Dragon Warrior yet. Gonna take a lot more than dew, and universe... juice.

Viper: Are you ready?
Po: I was born read...
[Viper attacks, Po is flung and lands on his head]
Viper: I'm sorry, Brother! I thought you said you were ready.
Po: That was awesome! Let's go again!

[after hiking up into the mountains, Shifu and Po stop at a pool of water]
Po: [panting] You... dragged me all the way up here... for a bath?
[he scoops up some water]
Shifu: Panda, we do not wash our pits in the Pool of Sacred Tears.
Po: The Pool of-?
[he quickly shakes the water off his paw]
Shifu: This is where Oogway unraveled the mysteries of harmony and focus. This... is the birthplace of kung fu.
[cut to a vision of the yinyang and young Oogway mastering kung fu]
Shifu: [leaping to the top of a rock] Do you want to learn kung fu?
Po: Yeah!
Shifu: Then I *am* your master!
Po: [sniffling] Okay!
Shifu: Don't cry.
Po: [wiping his nose] Okay.

Gang Boss: I see you like to chew. Maybe you should chew... ON MY FIST!
[smashes fist on table]
Po: [voice-over] The warrior said nothing, for his mouth was full. Then he swallowed...
[swallows]
Po: And then he spoke!
Po: [to Boss and minions] Enough talk, let's fight!

Shifu: [after watching Po getting beat up by the obstacle course] There is now a level zero.

Po: [serving a noodle bowl to a customer into which he accidentally pitched a throwing star] Careful, that soup is... sharp!

Shifu: [sitting down to eat] After you, Panda.
Po: What? Just like that? No sit-ups? No ten-mile hike?
Shifu: I vowed to train you, and you have been trained. You are free to eat.
[Po sits and picks up his chopsticks]
Shifu: Enjoy.
[Po lifts a dumpling to his mouth, but it is snatched away]
Po: Hey!
Shifu: I said, you are free to eat. Have a dumpling.
[Po tries another dumpling, it is snatched away again]
Shifu: You are free. To eat.
Po: Am I?
Shifu: ARE you?

Tai Lung: [growls] I rotted in jail for 20 years because of YOUR weakness!
Shifu: Obeying your master is not weakness!
Tai Lung: You knew I was the Dragon Warrior! You always knew! But when Oogway said otherwise, what did you do? What did you do? NOTHING!
Shifu: You were not meant to be the Dragon Warrior! That was not my fault!
Tai Lung: Not your fault? Who filled my head with dreams? Who drove me to train until my bones cracked? Who denied me my destiny?
Shifu: It was never my decision to make!
[gazes at Oogway's shrine and picks up his staff]
Tai Lung: It is *now*. Give me the Scroll!
Shifu: I would rather die!

Shifu: When you focus on kung fu, when you concentrate... you stink.
[Po frowns]
Shifu: But perhaps that is my fault. I cannot train you the way I have trained the Five. I now see that the way to get through to you, is with this.
[pulls out a bowl of dumplings]
Po: Oh great, 'cause I'm *hungry*!
Shifu: [laughs and pulls the bowl away] Good. When you have been trained, you may eat.
[He eats a dumpling]
Shifu: Let us begin.

Po: Hey, guys...
Tigress: [bowing low before Po] Master.
[the rest of the Five follow suit]
Po: Master?... Master Shifu!

Tai Lung: [attacking Shifu] What I ever did, I did to make you proud! Tell me how proud you are Shifu! Tell me! TELL ME!
[he knocks Shifu to the ground]
Shifu: [quiet and sad] I have always been proud of you. From the first moment I've been... proud of you. And it was my pride that blinded me. I loved you too much to see what you were becoming. What I... was turning you into. I'm s... I'm sorry.
[long pause, then Tai Lung growls and seizes Shifu by the throat]
Tai Lung: I don't want your apology! I want my scroll!

Po: I just ate, so I'm still digesting, so my kung fu may not be as good as later on.

Tai Lung: Where's the Dragon Warrior?
Tigress: How do you know you're not looking at her?
Tai Lung: [laughs] You think I'm a fool? I know you're not the Dragon Warrior. None of you! I heard how he fell from the sky on a ball of fire. That he's a warrior unlike anything the world has ever seen!
Monkey: Po?
Tai Lung: So that is his name. Po. At last, a worthy opponent. Our battle will be legendary!

Oogway: My time has come.
[hands his staff to Shifu]
Shifu: What? What are you...?
Oogway: You must now continue your journey without me.
Shifu: No! WAIT! Master! You can't leave me!
Oogway: You must believe...
Shifu: MASTER!
[in a haze of peach blossoms, Oogway ascends to the heavens]

[Po gazes upon the Dragon Scroll and screams...]
Po: It's blank!
Shifu: What?
Po: Here, look!
[Po holds out the scroll]
Shifu: No, I am forbidden to look upon...
[Shifu grabs the Scroll and looks for himself]
Shifu: Blank!... I don't, I don't understand...

Shifu: Master! I have... it's very bad news!
Oogway: Ah, Shifu. There is just news. There is no good or bad.
Shifu: Master, your vision. Your vision was right! Tai-Lung has broken out of prison! He's on his way!
[pause]
Oogway: That IS bad news.

Shifu: Our only hope is the Dragon Warrior.
Tigress: The panda?
Shifu: Yes, the panda!
Tigress: Master, please!
[pushes chair out]
Tigress: Let us stop Tai Lung, this is what you've trained us for!
Shifu: No! It is not your destiny to defeat Tai Lung, it is his!
[points at Po, then realizes he's not there]
Shifu: Where'd he go?

Tai Lung: Finally... oh, yes... at last, the power of the Dragon Scroll is *mine*...
[He opens the scroll - and stares at it]
Tai Lung: It's nothing!
Po: It's okay. I didn't get it the first time either.
Tai Lung: What?
Po: There *is* no secret ingredient. It's just you.

Po: [dazed] What are you pointing at? Oh! Okay. Sorry, I just wanted to see who the Dragon Warrior was.
Oogway: How interesting.
Tigress: Master, are you pointing at... me?
Oogway: Him.
Po: Who?
[Moves around, Oogway's finger follows him]
Oogway: You.
Po: What?
Oogway: [Raising Po's arm with his stick] The universe has brought us the Dragon Warrior!
Po: What?
Tigress, Crane, Monkey, Mantis, Viper: What?
Shifu: WHAT?
Mr. Ping: WHAT?

Tigress: You don't belong here.
Po: Right, I know. This is your room.
Tigress: No, I mean you don't belong in the Jade Palace. You're a disgrace to kung fu, and if you have any respect for who we are and what we do, you will be gone by morning.
[Closes door]
Po: [after awkward pause] Big fan.

Tai Lung: I have come home, master.
Shifu: This is no longer your home, and I am no longer your master!
Tai Lung: Oh, yes. You have a new favorite. So where is this Po?
[chuckles]
Tai Lung: Did I scare him off?
Shifu: This battle is between you and me.
Tai Lung: So, that is how it's going to be.
Shifu: That is how it MUST be.
[Tai Lung attacks]

Mr. Ping: We are noodle folk. Broth runs through our veins.

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