Toe Tags

Slightly amusingly awful slasher about ..., well, ... slashings. And nudity. LOTS of attractive females getting nude and shaking their tits for the camera before getting slashed by an unseen killer in this bargain basement flick, seemingly shot on an Iphone. Big cop with big teeth grins for the camera, while his partner (played by producer/ director/ camerperson/ editor Darla Enlow) shows off her sexy legs in the shortest mini-skirt on the police force. This all has something to do with a series of killings linked to HotLegs Darla's character, but it climaxes in one of the most "What the f ck was that?" endings I can think of, so exactly what went on in this film is not made clear.

The film actually clocks in at an even 60 minutes, with eight minutes of a blooper reel to pad out the running time a little; the dialogue sometimes tries to be so-bad-it's-good, and sometimes it manages to be without trying.

Apparently the film's budget was so low that they could only afford one toe tag which is just simply reused all throughout.

Unfairly neglected, this desperately underfunded, amusingly old-fashioned S. O. V slicer n' dicer is rudimentarily directed, and charmingly performed by blonde bombshell, Darla Enlow. Darla is ably supported by an equally game cast of amicably 'top-popping', red goo-slobbering, over-enthusiastic amateur performers that collectively makes all the artistically bereft, T&A-loaded slayage pretty fun to boggle at, in a forgiving, generously cheese-clotted, beer-googled kinda' way!

The ubiquitous, black-gloved psycho loose aboot tha' hoose is twitchily captured in a prosaic S. O. V manner. This consistent overuse of jerky, hand-held camera drawing attention to the woeful lack of visual refinement. That being said dishy, Darla Enlow occasionally delivers on the cheapo grue! Much like delicious drive-in diva's Doris Wishman & Roberta Findlay decades before her, dynamic Darla makes the very best out of her limited filmmaking resources. Fortuitously, two of 'Toe Tags' more beguiling traits are the anything but meagre displays of female pulchritude!!! Toe Tags got some hellaciously birthday-suited hotties, dude!!! And said nubile, entirely eyeball friendly fecundity is frequently bared and no less deliciously drenched in glistering, home-made plasmatic goodness for a gloriously blood-burnished finish!

Toe Tags decidedly clunky dénouement might leave a great many bemused, perhaps, even momentarily irked, but any fair-minded gore hound richly schooled upon the more refined scriptures of Scooby-Doo and 'Bloodsucking Freaks' should righteously dig on such lo-Fi shenanigans! While it would be absurd to suggest that 'Toe Tags' is in any way a hitherto undiscovered S. O. V slasher classic, but taken warts and all, this spunky little blood-spiller is just too darn likeable to drearily dwell upon its budgetary limitations, and overreliance on cliché.

Hey, the film was shot and edited and it was completed. That's a lot more than probably 90% of the world population could ever do. The filmmakers accomplished more with this film than most ppl do their whole lives. That right there gives it some credit.

I did like the story about a killer taking the toe tags, I just did not like the acting whatsoever. Very amateurish performances from everybody in the cast. There was no realism to the acting at all. That is an honest opinion. The editing was decent and the look of the film was OK for an low budget Indie. Maybe with more money it could have been better.