Zombie Strippers!

A movie such as this is always a toss up. One is certainly given enough information from the title about what to expect, and as such the result can be utter crap, or a devilishly guilt ridden B movie indulgence. I will leave my personal classification open to interpretation based upon the rest of this critique.

B movies are a quirky little niche of the movie industry, slipping past the radar and existing as poor in many aspects of traditional film-making standards, yet somehow rising to the occasion to please grinning audiences. Sometimes a movie is intended to be a B, and sometimes it happens by accident; usually in the hands of an amateur and underfunded auteur. Regardless of how a movie like Zombie strippers came to be (even though it is fairly apparent in this case) the polished result, and I use that term loosely, can be perceived in three ways. The first, is a movie that is the bonafide gold standard of schlock, the second is one that has a burning admiration for this genre and directs an homage as a salute. The final and obnoxiously common result is a film that tries desperately to exist as a B movie, but fails on every level and unfortunately, Zombie Strippers is a direct offspring of the latter.

I have stated before that I am a sucker for zombie films, but I have no such admiration for this picture; this zombie film just sucks. 2008 as a whole has shown a weak display of this genre, the best being the disappointing Diary of the Dead by legend George A. Romero. Also more notable is the more successful B movie, the Romero remake, Day of the Dead. Perhaps the largest flaw of Zombie Strippers (I assure you, there are a number) is the decision to forfeit most elements of the classic "zombie" picture. This lack of tradition is even more clear, due to the fact that it is supposed to be traditional; a homage; a throwback. I won't disclose exactly how it fails to meet these expectations, with fear of disclosing the "plot". Other issues range from the sometimes intolerable script which only occasionally descends into something gleefully tacky, the acting, while not vital to a picture of this calibre needs to be watchable, and pacing. Forgoing all else, this garbage unfolds at a snails pace (make that a crippled snail), mostly consisting of random and supposedly politically satirical humour and extended strip scenes, which lose their appeal quickly when the go-go's start to go-bad. There is some well done gore for the budget, but it is most certainly not worth your time.

Called to a chemical lab, a group of elite soldiers are shocked to discover the result of a government re-animation program; zombies. Dispatching of the threat, the virus escapes into a nearby strip-club, run by the devilish Robert Englund of Nightmare on Elm St. fame, who I am sure was full after filming, from all the scenery he had been chewing on. Among the sultry strippers is Kat, played by Jenna Jameson, whose boyfriend Jay Lee directed. The virus affects men and women differently, leaving only women with their pre-existing mental capacity, but tacking on a degrading demeanour and hunger for flesh. The catch, it appears in death that these women can strip up a storm, and soon, despite pushing a few bodies under the rug, business is booming. All is perfect for Ian (Englund) and his group of co-workers and friends, until the gals get a tad antsy and things get out of control.

Despite the possibly good intentions, Zombie Strippers is simply dreck; an overlong and ploddingly paced humourless mess and your money would be better spent on Romero's latest venture, or renting last years Grindhouse. In Zombie Strippers, the only memorable thing stripping away is your patience and the dignity of those involved.

It's a zombie flick performed by porn actors. What were you expecting? As porn horror goes, I think that this is the best that you can hope for. Lots of carnage and boobies. Hey, that's an element for success. I was actually quite impressed that they could pull this off for just one million dollars.

You can't expect anything more from big boobs with guns, but on that score, this movie really rates. It's cheap and campy, and does nothing to further the human condition, but it doesn't try to. It's real porn stars acting like zombies. That rates in my book (not that I've ever seen any porn movies).

If you're looking for depth, look elsewhere. But if you're looking for heaving breasts bouncing to rhythmic automatic weapons fire, this is your flick.

Unfortunately, Robert Englund shows that he has no acting chops here.

Zombie Strippers (2008) is currently available on Tubi. The storyline follows a shady strip club (are there any other kind) and tells the tale of an outbreak that turns the strippers into zombies. Somehow this ends up being good for business and drives the strip club attendance up. The zombie strippers get more stage time than the human strippers leading to a divide among the strippers. Can the owner of the strip club prevent a civil war between strippers and keep the cash flowing?

This movie is directed by Jay Lee (Alyce Kills) and stars Jenna Jameson (Private Parts), Robert Englund (A Nightmare on Elm Street), Roxy Saint (Death in the Desert), Whitney Anderson (Rusty) and Penny Vital (Necrosis).

This is a wild movie. The opening narration is crazy. I'll never know how they got Robert Englund in this but he's hilarious and one of the better parts of the zombie. The highlight of this picture is a Jenna Jamison blood soaked strip tease; although, I will say the kill scenes and gore are really good. This does have a made for TV feel to it with awful concepts, acting and dialogue. There's a stripper stage fight in this that's awful and entertaining at the same time. 😂 There's bad CGI in here too...but I've seen worse.

Overall, this movie is terrible...but you still have to watch it. I would score this a 3.5/10 and recommend seeing it once.

It's hard to knock a movie like "Zombie Strippers" because it's fully aware of how audaciously stupid and ridiculous it is. It doesn't matter that it isn't high satire or even reasonably solid on a technical level because when it comes down to it, some guy sat down one day and decided to make a movie that combined two of the average drunk male's favorite things- zombies and strippers, and "Zombie Strippers" doesn't just contain zombies and stripping (actual stripping included, by the way), it goes as far as fulfilling its title and providing a horde of surprisingly sexy... you guessed it, zombie strippers.

Commenting on the quality of the direction or the quality of the script with a movie like this just isn't worth it. This movie isn't the worst ever made (that's a fact, sorry), but it is a pretty terrible movie anyway. Could this movie have actually been funny for its jokes? I don't know. Could this ever have been a quality project in the first place?

"Zombie Strippers" is a movie about zombie strippers. By nature it is going to be pretty darn stupid and pretty darn bad. Using this criteria, "Zombie Strippers" is nowhere near as awful as it could have been. I even chuckled a couple of times. The girls all look good too, Jameson being the least attractive, and to think she was the object of every North American man's desire in the 90's (don't go near plastic surgery, girls). This movie does exactly what it says on the tin, and that deserves some level of respect. Oh, the audacity.

3/10 as a movie, but I can't say it wasn't fun on some level.

This is poorly made in most respects, and that's part of its appeal. In fact, I liked it. It has more jokes, and better jokes than any of the parody movies I've seen in years.

Here's the setup. W Bush has stolen a fourth term and declared war on a dozen countries, including France. So many soldiers are getting killed that labs have invented a virus that reanimates them so that they can keep on fighting, and harder. This virus gets into a stripper establishment with the result that the strippers once infected get "better," or at least more popular with the goofs.

Sounds like it could be a mess, and it is. I think of it as some sort of triangulation among Tarantino's fake sleaze "Death Proof," but more genuine, "10,000 Corpses" but with something other than snarls and "Shaun of the Dead" but with more clever jokes.

The interesting thing is that there are breasts here. But they are part of the irony, the big joke. They are deliberately depicted to be as artificially defective as the zombie countenance. In fact, the folding here is that we have an on-screen audience of male louts who reward the zombie strippers above the "regular" girls, so they willingly become zombies to be sexier.

The jokes range from cinematic jokes to comments on social issues, and they are at a higher level than usual.

One of the strippers is a former Playmate and that's supposed to be some sort of draw. Its hard to tell which one.

Ted's Evaluation -- 2 of 3: Has some interesting elements.