Castle Freak

If you have low expectations, are you allowed to be disappointed? On the plus side locations scout is incredible! Hats off to you sir.

A mix of classic Lovecraft elements, combined with characters that you could care less about, in an overlong movie where everyone makes stupid decisions leading to dire consequences: equals another remake that failed overall. Watch the original instead.

This is one of those films were right away you know it's not going to be good. Mostly it's about a blind girl wandering around a castle (we know she's blind because she wears sunglasses all the time). I saw review that called this a "reimagining" and I only imagine it's what I would create if I wanted a horrible movie. Don't waste your time move on to something else.

'Castle Freak' is another tiresome example of why all too many remakes remain such a questionable creative proposition in that they all too frequently tend to subtract from the original's uniqueness, very rarely adding anything worthwhile, which is very much the case with the clumsily 'reimagined' 'Castle Freak', yet another paltry, dully written, wholly unwarranted contemporary upgrade, thereby producing a lacklustre facsimile which has little interest to fans of the evilly atmospheric original cult classic! The major subtraction in this specific instance is in the glaring lack of sympathetic characters, with, perhaps, the exception of poor blind Rebecca (Clair Catherine), whereas one frequently felt enormous empathy for the original's increasingly beleaguered freak-haunted family, thereby giving an extra penetrating frisson of fear to the ill-tempered flesh-flaying castle dweller, whereas in 'Castle Freak' (2020) the entirely welcome slaughter of these irksomely insipid hedonists provide the film's sole satisfaction.

The film's mediocrity resides primarily in the episodic, uninspired screenplay, with its surfeit of disposable, vapid characters, wholly generic dialogue and a frustratingly fright-less climax, with the worthy contributions from maestro Fabio Frizzi's fine score and the remarkably vivid make up FX actively expressing any generosity of artistic spirit. And it takes far more than be-cowled stock B-movie characters monotonously disclaiming 'Yog-Sothoth is the gate!' to invoke genuinely chilling, Lovecraftian discords. Again, why write every character as an asinine, unlikeable imbecile? Unless it was to generate some additional pathos for the poor benighted, bedroom-peeping, catacomb-creeping creature? Perfunctory photography and poor set design failed to engender any tangible eldritch atmosphere, as the over manicured interior looked more like Jimmy Page's nookie parlour than the neglected mildewed nightmare that might suggest the malign presence of some sinisterly spawned wretch!

This movie has one of the most awesome filming locations you can hope for, a legit massive castle. The scenery is absolutely fantastic if you like that sort of thing, I wonder how they got the license to shoot in this place.

Unfortunately the movie just isn't good. The acting is below average, the plot is very thin, and they try to throw in a Lovecraft theme at the end that doesn't really make sense. Really none of the plot makes sense...because there isn't much of a plot at all.

There is boobs though for those that are interested. And they are very nice boobs. They add absolutely nothing to the plot but they are there for those who are interested. The FX is actually quite good as is the film quality, but unfortunately it's just not that great of a movie. I realize I didn't discuss the actual plot...that's because there really isn't is one and anything I said would be a spoiler. Other than the nice boobs it was a meh.