D'Wild Wild Weng

Weng Weng was christened as Ernesto de la Cruz and was the youngest of the five de la Cruz children (all boys). Weng Weng was born with a medical condition known as primordial dwarfism, which caused him to only grow to a height of 2 feet and 9 inches tall. According to his brother Celing de la Cruz, when his mother gave birth to Weng-Weng, his size was "no bigger than a small coke bottle", this forced Weng Weng's parents to place him in the care of the hospital incubator for the first twelve months of his life. During this time, the doctors were advising the de la Cruz couple that Weng Weng might not survive but miraculously he did, and being devoted Catholics, the couple showed their devotion to their faith by dressing and parading a young Weng Weng as Santo Niño each year for the annual Baclaran parade.

Weng Weng starred in this 1982 western D'Wild Wild Weng, playing a character called "Mr. Weng". In the film, he and sidekick Gordon (Max ZUMA Laurel) are sent to the countryside to investigate the murder of Santa Monica's mayor. The town is now overrun by the corrupt governor Sebastian (played by Romy Diaz) and his army of banditos, all dressed up to look like Mexican revolutionaries. The ending has Weng cranking a Gatling gun - on the back of a jeep - mowing down wave after wave of sombreros, while a tribe of dwarf Indians launch a counterattack with bows and arrows.

D'Wild Wild Weng shares much of the cast from both For Y'ur Height Only, and The Impossible Kid: Yehlen Catral (Lola in For Y'ur Height Only) plays Elsa the barmaid, Max (For Y'ur Height Only's tartan-clad villain in shades and cloth cap) Alvarado takes a turn at playing a sympathetic character as the mute Lupo, and Nina Sara (later in The Impossible Kid) is Weng's love interest Clara.

This movie is very cheaply made. At points in the movie the sound track pops and crackles. The print is fairly dirty too.

It's sort of an offbeat funny movie and the bad guys wear Mexican hats and are punching and killing the villagers without reason. For some reason the lead villain doesn't want anyone leaving his town! Why? WHo cares?

Weng to the rescue.

Ever wanted to see a dwarf with a greasy Purdey haircut and a cool line in ruffled shirts mowing down bandits with a Gatling gun? Of course you have, and Wild Weng Weng is where you can.

Diminutive Filipino star Weng Weng plays Mr. Weng, one half of a crime-fighting duo sent to discover what has happened to the mayor of rural town Santa Monica. When he and his full size partner Gordon (Max Laurel) arrive at their destination, they find the place under the control of wicked bandit Senor Sebastian (Romy Diaz), who has been killing anyone who tries to escape.

With the two-and-a-half foot tall lead kicking ass, aided by Gordon and a tribe of nearly naked pygmy natives, Wild Wild Weng sounds like hugely entertaining trash, but despite its ridiculous premise the film actually proves extremely boring for much of the time, Weng Weng's novelty appeal quickly wearing off, leaving the viewer to struggle with a weak plot and poorly executed action.

There's the occasional glimmer of genius - Weng Weng escaping prison under the cowl of Gordon, who is disguised as a monk, is priceless - and we get a couple of Filipino cuties to please the eye (Yehlen Catral and Nina Sara), but on the whole this is nowhere near as enjoyable as it should be.

4/10, marked down to 3 for mute Lupo (Max Alvarado), who isn't quite as mute as I wished he was (his mumbling irked me immensely, and I hate being irked!), and some of the crappiest ninjas imaginable.