The Squad

Three women go on spring break with plans to deal... who cares. I don't. You won't. No one does.

While it's touching that the director's mom posted five fake positive reviews, the truth is this "movie" isn't. The industry has minimum standards for a professional production and this attempt fails to clear the bar.

That problems start with story. Even being generous there wasn't enough actual plot for a half hour TV episode. It was so lacking they needed to pad it out with corte a música (quick cut musical montages) to reach a barely sellable length.

The acting... let's be honest, it wasn't. No one onscreen has training, ability, or natural talent. They should all go back to their day jobs and stay there.

If they had made a spring break comedy with the cast it might have worked. Everyone would focus on the attractiveness of the performers and not worry that what was coming out of their mouths was lacking an emotional connection to what was going onscreen. It might have gotten five stars. But they didn't make that. Three stars for pretty people in limited clothing. Three stars.

Despicable characters. Lame attempt at acting. Overly loud, unnecessary "trendy" music. Incoherent, utterly unbelievable plotline. Useless kids and cast pretending {and failing} to be "actors" and ooooh, such badasses. Barely competent photography.

And they don't even have the decency to give us any nudity.

A complete waste of time and I watched it at 3X speed as well.

Really struggling to post the required characters here. Honestly, this gets a 3 from me only because that is my bare minumum rating on imdb - as lousy as any movie might be, I do acknowledge that actual people put it some kind of effort to make a film.

But in cases like this POS, they're all better off looking for a new, radically different career path.

Truths. Not hysterically fake shill review.

This movie has a nice cast of attractive ladies, and all the ingredients (an opportunity if you will) for a super sexy, female led, action crime caper. It tried to be that. But of course, given it's an American film, director, cast.. it's jus more overtly sanitized, formulaic, chaste drivel that is currently common place in American independent cinema.. that is, flaccid, weak dudes trying to make something that should be erotic, super sexy but, nah, these dudes just can't make it happen, because people don't want that! Everything PG! Lol. So what we get is yet even more content that should be fun and sexy, but nah, we get another R-rated movie turned into yet another would be erotic movie safe enough for grandma and the kids. Hey it's tell filmed, well casted, but poorly conceived. Sanitized, prick teasey and yeah, off-target and boring.

Of course I had never heard about the 2023 movie "The Squad" from writer and director Rick Walker, as I happened to stumble upon the movie by random chance here in 2024. However, I must admit that given the movie's synopsis and its cover, then I wasn't expecting this to be anything fantastic. Yet, I still opted to give the movie the benefit of the doubt and watch it.

"The Squad" is definitely not entertainment for the cerebral viewer. The storyline from Rick Walker is pretty straightforward, albeit rather generic for a crime thriller. Sure, it was semi-watchable, but you're not in for any grand cinematic experience here.

I was not familiar with the cast ensemble in the movie at all. And that is usually something I enjoy when I sit down to watch a movie. In all fairness, then against the fact that the actresses and actors had precious little to work with in terms of script and character gallery, then the acting performances were actually adequate.

Some of the dialogue in the movie was rather wooden and rigid, feeling like it was written by a High School student with an interest in movie making. It wasn't exactly Shakespearian poetry that transpired on the screen.

Be prepared to see a lot of skin throughout the course of the movie, though thankfully director Rick Walker didn't stoop to showing tacky nudity.

The cinematography was actually fair throughout the course of the 78 minutes that the movie ran for, and that definitely spoke well in favor of the movie, adding to the overall impression of "The Squad".

I was only mildly entertained by "The Squad", and it is not a movie that I would recommend you rush out and get to watch. This is definitely not a movie that I will be returning to watch a second time. But in all honesty, it does feel like writer and director Rick Walker had the right intentions and spirit for making a movie. The end result, just wasn't particularly spectacular.

My rating of "The Squad" lands on a generous four out of ten stars.

Three young and beautiful drug 'brokers' try their hand at making a fortune during a spring break week. Only trouble is, well, everything. The local dealers want in, the US cartel wants them out, and their home base support system has been compromised.

Things get unpleasant fast as the double crosses and bodies begin to pile. What started as a fun and sexy movie devolves quickly into a standard gritty crime drama.

The Squad suffers from trying to be two movies at once. The sound, the cinematography, the editing, the sets, the costuming, the casting... all would be perfect for a spring break adventure movie OR a violent drug cartel thriller, but not both.

Enjoy what you can from this mixed bag of sweet and salty tidbits.