Swim

So I am very stoned rite now and I still have NO CLUE how this was ever made. The last 30 mins is definitely a treat!

I appreciate the content that Tubi offers for free. It is a streaming service with many quality movies that deserves more attention. As Swim is one of the first movies originally produced by Tubi, I wanted to like this movie. Unfortunately, this movie doesn't even live up to the standards of a Syfy Channel movie. The only positive comments that can be made are that the movie is fast-paced and that shark movies are always a little fun. This movie makes many mistakes that even a B horror movie shouldn't make. The list of problems in this movie include but are not limited to:

-A 55 year old actor pretending to be a 90 year old

-The lead actress keeps her mouth open for almost the entire film

-Very predictable number and order of deaths

-poor CGI and an unintimidating shark

-Painful dialogue (ex. At one point, an actor explains to the audience the purpose of a flare gun)

-Characters are either unlikeable or poorly developed

With the number of shark movies made each year, you can certainly find a better shark movie than this one. But hey, at least this film is better than Shark Exorcist (2015).

This movie was so awful that I couldn't look away. The acting, "special effects", storyline and writing was on a level of atrocious that I have never seen in film before. I erupted in laughter at many of the attack scenes and found myself shaking my head in frustration at the reasoning of the characters. This movie is now on my list for my Bad Horror Movie Night binges. The entire thing looks like it was made on a budget of $10. It is the worst thing I've ever seen. I'm giving it 3 stars because I'm so amazed at how terrible it was, it seems more like a shark horror parody than anything else.

A family travel to a dream (nightmare) holiday shack, and get stalked by a psychotic shark.

If you're having a couple of large vodkas, you may just find this amusing enough, you know it's doing to be shocking, it's genuinely worse than that, it's terrible.

The shark itself is an amusing chap, and those CGI special effects belong in the late 1990's.

It is one of those that's so awful, that in a cringey way you will want to watch it, for a morbid curiosity.

Some rudimentary basics are a little confused here, including the ages of the main characters, the mother is to young, and the doddery old father is hilarious, a shame they didn't give him an ear trumpet and a paisley blanket.

When the daughter is screaming our the word shark, nobody else is remotely bothered, the mother is more concerned with her parcel, it's hilarious.

Some of the acting, it's what I can only describe as porn movie acting, personified beautifully by the dishy Mr Randolph, all he needed was a boiler suit.

Jaws fans, do not watch it, you'll weep.

2/10.

The mother looked way too young. The kids look like they're pushing 25.