Tales from Cockwarts

Wicked Pictures continues its rapid decline with this lousy VOD release, its fake title spoofing J. K. Rowling's creation, but content consisting of 4 all-sex vignettes of so-called magical connotations.

Alyssa Reece stars in opening segment, the Canadian actress handling English ably, while the rest of the thick-accented players stumble. She's at a bar picking up old Lutro, but she wants a long-term relationship while he's interested in a one-night stand.

She claims to be a magician (making the femme bartender suddenly disappear through the magic of editing) and they hump in the bar, climaxing in a creampie. Absence of production value sets the low standard for the entire threadbare production.

Dumb scene has Leeanne Lace wandering across a field and encountering Adam Essex, who invites her into his tent. The less than careful lass peeks inside and sees a crummy bedroom, hardly magical but still unlikely to be there, so she goes in and humps him. How thrilling!

Curly-haired Stacy Bloom wanders into an antique shop (tiny little set of a desk, some books and a light-source obviously there for filming rather than intrinsic) and encounters an old man, played by a coot who's dubbed into English and named after an old rock band (Fiat Lux) in the opening credits. He claims to be cursed and she's so taken with his dumb explanation that she impulsively kisses him -voila! He turns into big-dicked young stud Josh who promptly humps her on the desk.

Director Dave Menshin, reputedly a still photographer in porn, has Bloom take off her glasses at the beginning of the Josh love scene, and then arbitrarily put them back on during a sensual blow-job. The way my mind works that caused me to expect a fetish "cum-shot-on-glasses" finale, but instead Josh shoots his load on her belly.

End segment delivers one of my favorite Euro porn stars -Cherry Kiss, on a blind date. She's so mousey and shy that date Thomas Stone's eyes roll as his hopes plummet, but she goes to the lady's room and "magically" (just another edit) instantly emerges with a makeover and glamorous dress on. Cut to a bedroom and more timid humping - no hint of anal sex in a Euro shoot is definitely a modern rarity.

No condoms here, part of Wicked's new policy after a couple of decades of promoting safe sex. One wonders if Brad Armstrong's contract will be renewed, as current budgets at this label converge toward zero.