Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus

Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus (2010)

** (out of 4)

When MEGA SHARK VS GIANT OCTOPUS became a huge hit you just knew The Asylum would follow it up. This film here is just as campy but it actually manages to be somewhat better due to some better written characters and a nice performance by Gary Stretch playing an Indiana Jones-like croc hunter. The "story" pretty much has the 1500-ft. crocodile wanting to protect her eggs from the mega shark who wants to eat them. The humans have to find a spot for them to do an epic battle. If you pay a $1 from your Redbox like I did for a movie called MEGA SHARK VS CROCOSAURUS then you should know very well that you're not renting a film by Orson Welles. I'm still shocked at how many people rent or buy a movie like this then get upset that they're not watching something they can compare to GONE WITH THE WIND. Look, if you're going to waste time watching a movie like this then it's best to realize that you're watching a "C" production from a minor company who specializes in making silly, bad movies that get released direct-to-DVD. If this was fifty years ago then this would be playing as a double-feature with FRANKENSTEIN'S DAUGHTER or BRIDE OF THE MONSTER but today we get it this way. This movie contains some of the worst CGI you're ever going to see unless you're watching another film from The Asylum but when it's this bad there's really no point in trying to figure out which is the worst. There are a couple scenes here where CGI helicopters are flying so close that their blades are obviously touches each others yet nothing ever happens. As with the previous film you get all sorts of campy scenes including one where the shark comes up from beneath the submarine, picks it up and flies through the air with it. The crocodile CGI is without question the weakest as it comes off very blurry throughout the movie and you have to wonder why they made it look this way when she's clearly one of the stars of the film. So, how is the big fight? It's not too bad but then again there's really not too much you can do when a shark fights a croc. The battle between the two is pretty fun but the bigger highlight is when the croc goes on shore in Miami and does damage to several familiar places and he even visits Sea World where Shamu doesn't stand a chance. The performances are pretty much what you'd expect in a film like this but I thought Stretch actually delivered a fun performance and he certainly kept the film moving. There's no question this is a bad movie but thankfully there's enough camp and silly action to at least keep it entertaining for the most part. At just under 90-minutes the film runs way too long and The Asylum really needs to understand that these type of films are better when they don't cross the 75-minute mark.

After a long time thinking about this movie I came up with two theories about its existence:

1. On some weekend in the early 80's a group of 14-year-olds sneaked into an empty Hollywood studio. Without any clue, script, or skill but a lot of beer and dope they shot this film in a few hours. Afterwards, when sober they figured how disastrous and scary the result was (even for drunk high school kids), and they tried to destroy the tape. But somehow it got into the hands of The Joker who thought it was a powerful weapon of mass destruction if ever published – well, he was wrong, but close.

2. This production was meant to become the worst movie of all time. But it still failed to make it. From the worst movie of all time I definitely expect to have fun watching it. But this one is pure pain – the Joker was not that wrong.

If there wasn't two or three actors I recognized from somewhere else I wouldn't have believed that there was a single film professional involved in this "thing".

My recommendation: Rather use the 88 minutes it takes to watch it, for reading the newspaper from 4 weeks ago. Afterwards you will regret it less.

I guess you need to have movies like this to offset the seriousness of Hollywood sometimes. The title says it all. If you didn't know this was going to be super cheesy then you gotta be dim or something. Thought it was hilariously bad. From the first scenes of the freighter with the tarp and giant fin in the forground (took my 3 views to figure out what was that supposed to be?) to the scene of the order for the Arc Flash going through chain of command -"Yes you heard me right, an arc flash. Thats an order." .....hilarious.

Some of my favorites

The guy gets chomped up by the croc and suddenly the croc collapses and he walks out of the mouth. What did he do in there?

The 1500 croc loaded up (How?) on the flatbed. Must have been a big flatbed.

Croc eating all the whales at seaworld...in one bite

URKLE!

Mega shark jumping up and snatching fighter jets from the air.

The tarps and bailing twine holding down the croc on the ship.

I don't expect much from the Asylum - and this still managed to fall short. Sarah Lieving was easily the best thing in it. Put it this way, there were only two things worth seeing in this movie, and they weren't the Mega Shark and Crocosaurus.

2/10.

What do you get when you combine a sweaty, dirty guy whose favorite pastime is sexually harassing women, a hot female secret service agent who needs some serious counselling in anger management and Urkel, all combat styled out…. You get a lean, mean mega shark/crocosaurus fighting machine! This movie was horrible… BUT… that's what makes it so awesome! I loved this movie, its horrible graphic were funny, its script and acting ridiculous and the storyline was basic yet captivating.

I think this type of movie is an acquired taste. Those of us that love this silly type of movie will enjoy this gem. Others, who are not as easily amused will turn it off within the first 5 min.

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