Hustler's Untrue Hollywood Stories: Oprah

No one has ever explained to me the workings of the loophole that permits the thousands of horrible "parodies" to be made and circulate, dominating the porno market. Case in point, this mockery of OPRAH and her circle: it ends with the disclaimer that none of the characters represent real people (scout's honor attest the pornographers) when in fact that is precisely what they do represent. It's just like the kiddie porn-baiting movies and videos - as long as you affirm that the characters are not underage (I mean the fictional characters, not the actual actresses) in the boiler plate disclaimer listing, it doesn't matter if they are referred to as "13" or "7th Grader" in the story proper.

One more logical ploy here is to cast players who do not even vaguely resemble the real-life people - I guess this is evidence that any resemblance really is accidental. Misty Stone as Oprah is listed in IMDb as getting a best actress nomination from an industry org - preposterous. She has no facial or physical resemblance to Ms. Winfrey and her overacting never reminded me of the icon for a moment. In one scene she looked a little bit like gal pal Gayle King, who is portrayed here by Bella Moretti who, you guessed it, could never be mistaken for that CBS morning show host.

Perhaps more insulting is casting of Jack Lawrence as John Travolta, again probably ranking as number 10,000 in any casting call if the actors were lined up in order of how much they looked like the iconic star. I keep wondering when Lawrence's claim to fame will be explained: he has appeared in something approaching 100 bit parts always as a cop in non-sex movies and videos lately using the name "Steve Crest" after making hundreds of porn videos like this one. I don't get it.

Coming off best here is Bridgette B. as her bombastic big boobs self, playing a famous Hollywood waxer (we are spared the promised scene of her giving Gayle a Brazilian private parts treatment), who humps nerdy Chad Diamond. The Black female leads have a threesome with Stedman (unimpressive Carlo Carrera) and the sad excuse for a feature falls apart completely with a final orgy on an extremely cheap set (pretending to be a local bar, but seriously under-dressed) in which a big-bust actress Dylan Ryder sort of plays Maria Shriver (again, couldn't look less like Ms. Thin).

So there are quite a few fat jokes at Ms. Winfrey's expense -she can take it, and the problem of having sex scenes with Misty wearing a very clumsy, crummy fat suit is solved by, you guessed it, she just gives blow jobs at this point and keeps her clothes on. Veteran director Stuart Canterbury has no shame: I saw many of his earlier videos and some were quite good (for videos, compared to films), but now he's just cranking out an endless array of parody trash -ugh!

Not being a fan of Oprah Winfrey, this tongue in cheek parody of the ubiquitous media queen had me laughing. Overall, the acting was pretty weak, this being a porn movie, that is not unexpected. However, Misty Stone showed some decent acting chops. She has a great voice, and she imitated Oprah's voice pretty well. Not to mention, she is 100 times hotter than the real Oprah. Actually, Misty reminds me of a young Whitney Houston in appearance. I wouldn't be surprised if Misty did some crossover into mainstream acting. She has some talent. Of course, her talent in the XXX realm cannot be questioned and it is on full display here. If you want to watch a porn movie that has some semblance of plot and acting, then this movie is highly recommended. It hearkens back to the old days when pornographic movies at least tried to offer a story and basic theme, other than straight sex scenes.