Run for Your Wife

Alright, if you've seen in my prior reviews, I took a look at Keith Lemon: The Film, and my thoughts on it are not pretty at all especially when it came to celebrity cameos that had no purpose in the non-existent plot.

Now, we come across Run for Your Wife, which is based on a West End show of the same name. It stars Danny Dyer, who's appeared in other films and television shows, and i'm not a fan of him at all mainly for the fact he's quite annoying. The main female protagonists are played by the late Sarah Harding and TV presenter Denise Van Outen. This was meant to be the big break for both, and of course, it wasn't.

I don't know how faithful or unfaithful this movie is to the original stage play, but if it was either, then I wouldn't know. The celebrity cameos are obnoxious and although it was done for charity it is still way too much - 141 in all! Even Keith Lemon: The Film had way less celebrity cameos than this film did (as much as they were as bad as this was). This film also adds to the many terrible projects Denise Van Outen has starred in over the years (Something for the Weekend, anyone? And no, not the BBC show from 2006-2012, a Channel 4 series from 1999).

I could say that the only good thing is that the film doesn't have disgusting sexual jokes due to it's 12 rating, unlike Keith Lemon. And at least the characters aren't one-dimensional on sexual stuff. But it doesn't mean anyone is likeable.

Aside from the celebrity cameos, there's nothing else to write home about. I wouldn't even say it's a "So Bad, it's Good" kind of thing, either. It's best left aside and although it gets my lowest 1/10 score, it's still no Keith Lemon: The Film.

This is good old fashioned 'Carry On' style humour. Yes, it's predictable and cheesy but just take it for what it is and enjoy

Wow, just wow. Hopefully the final nail in the coffin that is Danny Dyer's movie career. This man can just about get away with playing a cockney geezer who is a bit tasty with his fists, darling, but he can't do comedy. Comedy is really hard. It requires more than pulling silly faces and going, cor blimey guvnor, me trousers just fell down and the missus is back any minute! This film might have been funny if it were 1956. But it's not, it's 2013 and chucking in references to viagra and Spotify isn't enough to cover up pathetically old fashioned portrayals of women (Denise van Outen, bow your head in shame. I expect Danny Dyer to be terrible, but you used to be cool) and gay people (two old hams from yesteryear playing a pair of mincing queens who have to be seen to be believed). Having said that the score is awesome and deserves an Oscar nomination. As I write this, I'm still singing, run, run for your wife, double your strife, something something something something something, run for your wife!

The main problem with this film is that there are so many cameos. Ray Cooney seemed to invite everyone he knew in the world of stage and screen spanning the last 60 years! There are 141 cameos in total! They break up the pace of the film constantly.

I recently performed the stage version of this play, in both the UK and the US, with very receptive audiences who enjoyed it. The main thing was it stayed based in the 1980s as a period piece.

There are so many plot holes in this due to the film script not being updated enough. It's set in 2012, and people used mobile phones aplenty. Something this film forgets, and hopes the audience do.

Everything seemed to have been done on the first or second take. The level of acting on this is on par with a pantomime. With Christopher Biggins taking the accolade for most insufferable performance.

It doesn't help that John Smith played by Danny Dyer is so unlikeable as the main character that the audience is supposed to root for.

I laughed about 5 times in the whole film. Which is why it gets an extra star. What stops it from getting any more is the awful slapstick, puns, and actual pauses where they think the audience will be rolling around laughing. Where the only thing they'll actually be rolling is their eyes!

I was lucky, or should i say unlucky enough to attend the premiere of this film. And after about 10 minutes it was clear to me that what was in front of me was nothing better than a high school film project. Every aspect of this film was appalling. The screenplay was horrific, containing the most crude and unfunny jokes imaginable. The acting was as bad; poor Danny Dyer did the best he could considering what he had to work with but the two wives, Sarah Harding and Denise Van Outen took acting to a new low. Ray Cooney's directional ineptitude was also clearly apparent however good a stage writer he may claim to be.

The 90 minutes I had to spend watching this was truly the most tiresome experience I have ever had in a cinema. The hocus pocus plot I'm sure drove most of the audience round the bend and I felt a great deal better when the credits started to role. Everyone who had anything to do with this film must be regretting being a part of this project. It seems that the only point of this film was to give has beens of British film and television a few seconds of screen time.

It is no surprise Run for your Wife took a grand total of £602 in its first week and is being heralded as the worst film of the year.