Sharks : Silencieux & Mortels

While I consider myself a fan of the recent wave of cheesy, CGI-enhanced monster flicks a la SHARKNADO, even I have standards - and unfortunately, despite the great title, 2-HEADED SHARK ATTACK doesn't meet them. This is an entirely Z-grade film which takes PIRANHA 3D as its inspiration and fails to make a decent movie out of a rip-off.

The film is clumsily made and badly written throughout. The cast is almost entirely populated by annoying teen stereotypes and blonde bimbos, chief of whom is Hulk Hogan's daughter Brooke - an actress she isn't! Backing her up is Carmen Electra in a more minor role as a doctor; you may remember her from the likes of SCARY MOVIE back in the day, and she's still trying to play the same role and hiding her age by smothering her face in makeup.

Due to budgetary constraints, the whole film is set on a ship where those on board have to contend with one of the worst special effects yet put on film. This shark is a crude bit of CGI animation to say the least, and randomly changes size depending on the scene. There are many gory deaths, but the majority of effects are done on the computer; I felt like I was watching somebody playing THE SIMS at various times.

Needless to say, the acting is horrible, the script is dumb, and Christopher Douglas Olen-Ray's direction is vapid (no surprise that this guy is the son of infamous cult director Fred Olen-Ray). The amount of continuity errors and dumb decisions made on the part of the cast is unbelievable; I think the whole 'randomly sinking atoll' part of the story was the most jaw-dropping. In any case, this is a real stinker.