V/H/S 99

The first 3 movies are absolute treasures, but these new cash-ins lack all the underground gritty realism and engrossing segments.

The first 3 movies felt like you were watching some cursed or random snuff VHS that had been unearthed. These 90's installments feel like some kids decided to create their own little creepypasta style shots and it just falls flat and feels empty, the bad CGI doesn't help either. Some segments have decent story ideas but either bad acting, CGI, or dialogue ruin it.

Like '94 there's only one good segment, and the overarching shots between segments is bland. Still waiting for the series to get back to its original brilliance.

I have been a VHS loyalist since the beginning and even liked 1984. Has every segment ever been a homer in? No. But there's always a diamond or two in the rough. This time around there was quite literally nothing redeeming. Even gawker which should have been the best was wasted with filler and a boring climax. It was like a "Lily" rip-off with none of the tension. Man I can't believe every segment was a dud but here we are. Give some new writers a chance or at least be honest with yourselves when reading the scripts and weed out the garbage. Otherwise this franchises will suffer even further..

VHS 1 & 2 are still easily the best. Then I'd say '94, then this or 'Viral' for last place. I haven't seen 'Viral' since it released because I remember it being just too terrible, but this one was pretty awful too. There was no suspense in any of the segments in this one, except for when the girl is buried in the cemetary, but that segment is ruined when the monster shows up and looks cheaper than if I made a monster mask out of paper and mud.

'94' at least had Raatma, which I hoped would return in '99' since Raatma was the standout segment, but no. The connecting story of this movie makes no sense, not that any of the 'VHS' connecting storylines made much sense, but this one is complete nonsensical trash.

As for the segments themselves, they were all bad. Almost all the segments were just lame campfire stories/urban legends that were lamely executed. This movie also lacked the gritty, gross and snuff-like feel that the best 'VHS' movies offered. Also, none of the kids in this acted or spoke like they were from the '90s, they sounded like your typical annoying Fortniters or Minecrafters.

The first 2 'VHS' movies (and even some bits of '94') had a vibe to them where you felt like you were going to end up as a segment for just watching such a nasty-looking cursed film. But for '99', I felt like sitting through it was worse than ending up as a segment. A step down from '94', and a giant leap down from 'VHS' 1 & 2.

Hands down the best part of this movie was a hilarious performance from Steven Ogg.

3/10.

I have to start by saying the main poster for this film featuring hell with the camera lense eyed face at the top is a truly great poster. It says in the trivia that after the success of 'V/H/S/94' this was rushed into production and it sadly feels that way a bit. It's not a bad entry in the series, however it isn't close to the best.

A brief analysis of the segments:

Shredding - Probably my least favourite segment. Not very creative and nothing new or memorable about it.

Suicide Bid - The stuff in the coffin was very claustrophobic and effective. The ending I could have down without, however a 'V/H/S' movie has to 'V/H/S'. All said, probably my favourite segment.

Ozzy's Dungeon - I thought I was really going to enjoy this one until it went down a completely different path to what I expected. There was so much potential and it was set up so well. Then it fell apart. Very disappointing.

The Gawkers - This one was decent. Spends a lot of time setting everything up and then it's over a little too quickly. This was a strong enough concept to get a full length feature out of.

To Hell And Back - I'm not sure how I feel about this one. The idea is a good one. The execution didn't quite live up to the concept however. It never really felt like they were in hell.

2/5 would get pass marks for me. I will give the overall film a 6/10.

Let me start by saying I wasn't overly optimistic when I saw who the writers were. That, coupled with this year being such a huge letdown horror wise rang all kinds of alarm bells. Nonetheless, I still went with some expectations because it's VHS movie, so it has to be at least decent, right? Dead wrong.

I'm going to break it down by segments:

The only segment that was somewhat interesting (and I'm being very generous here), was The Gawkers. And by interesting I mean the ending of it. There's so much they could've done with it, won't spoil but you know which mythical creature I'm talking about here. We Summon The Darkness and Tragedy Girls were good so I'm not surprised this was the only segment that was decent. 5/10

Moving on, To Hell and Back was the second one in this movie. Subpar and below standards (4/10) but it wasn't outright catastrophic. Acting was good and it comes from same people who wrote Deadstream so it was watchable.

Shredding. I knew movie was going to suck when the first segment didn't deliver. I have no ide who Maggie Levin is except that she's known for The Black Phone (which was awful) and this didn't deliver either. There was no scare factor and it was extremely straightforward. Not overly bad, just kinda pointless. 3/10

Suicide Bid. I honestly have no clue why would anyone make this? It wasn't scary, wasn't interesting, there was no investment in character(s), just why? It was so blank and empty. 2.5/10 if I'm being generous

And finally - Ozzy's Dungeon. The worst segment I've ever seen in any VHS film. Absolutely horrendous and catastrophic in every single aspect. Have no idea who "Flying Lotus" is but this was so, so bad. Amateur level. 1/10

Overall, I have to give it a 3/10 because of two stories being watchable but that's as much as I can give. Such a shame another franchise is ruined by this. Horrible. I'm so disappointed.