Blood Relatives

Right, well I sat down to watch the 2022 movie "Blood Relatives" because it was a movie that I hadn't already seen, but also because it was listed as a horror comedy.

Needless to say that I hadn't heard about this movie from writer and director Noah Segan prior to sitting down to watch it, so I didn't know what I was in for, aside from it being a vampire-based horror comedy.

And now having sat through the 88 minutes that the movie ran for, I must say that you have to look hard and long for a shred of comedy here. I didn't laugh once throughout the course of "Blood Relatives". Sure, there were elements hinting towards light comedy, but the movie never transitioned into being a comedy. So I feel somewhat cheated on that account, as I was expecting a proper horror comedy. Instead, I was given a horror drama laced with light elements of hints toward comedy.

While writer Noah Segan definitely was on to something here with the script and storyline for "Blood Relatives", then the movie sort of fell flat on the ground after a running start. Yeah, the movie was severely hindered by a really slow narrative without much of anything exciting, thrilling or fun happening. So you essentially just sit through a very slow paced roadtrip for two estranged vampire family members.

The acting performances in "Blood Relatives" was fair enough, but it was a shame that leading actor Noah Segan (actually the writer and director as well, duh!) and leading actress Victoria Moroles hadn't much solid contents to work with from the script that Noah Segan had compiled.

For a horror comedy then "Blood Relatives" was a flaccid and uneventful movie, and not a movie that I would recommend for fans of the horror comedy genre.

My rating of "Blood Relatives" lands on a three out of four stars, because the movie was rather uneventful and way too slow paced.

Absolutely horrible movie. From the very start you know this is going to be a horrible ride.

The acting is downright terrible and the script is so poorly written you'll feel sorry for the actors even tho they are just as bad as the script.

The main problem is it tries too hard to be cute-funny and falls flat nearly all the time. Plus it's rather wordy and the acting isnt really good enough to plow through it.

It's anything for a laff, but It all falls flat.

In the end, the movie becomes tiresome with it's "cutsie" dialog and poor acting. Actually it becomes tiresome way before the end of the movie.

D level garbage not worth watching.

This is the Jewish Vampire Dad family movie you didn't know you needed. It's a film with a lot of heart, laughs, a healthy splattering of gore, and one ultimate truth; there's nothing more transformational than becoming a Dad.

Noah Segan's directorial debut does what his buddy Rian Johnson's movie "Looper" did with Time Travel. He manages to do something refreshingly new in a very well worn genre.

Blood Relatives is a remarkably charming film that had me at "Oy Vey" and never let go.

The casting is perfect. Victoria Moroles as Jane is delightful and there is a particularly brilliant turn by Josh Ruben as a "familiar" character.

I've watched this twice and hope the universe Segan has created has room for more stories.

Not for everyone. Gore hounds will hate it. Those who demand 100 million in special effects or big name celebrities. Those who insist every joke be obvious or have toilet humor or be about sex.

I was pleasantly surprised by this low budget indie. It has an off kilter sense of humor that quickly grows on you. That is, if you're willing to actually listen, pay attention, and don't demand explosions and piles of bodies or you get bored.

The writer deserves to be applauded. So do all the actors, and the principal ones have pretty good comedic timing.

In some ways this reminds me of the original short film for Things We Do In the Shadows.

This was very poorly written and directed, and surprisingly, just bland and boring, and not funny at all. The concept was interesting, but it missed the mark in every other department. The two leads had zero chemistry, I'm sure mostly due to writer, director and lead actor Noah Segan's failure to direct himself and Victoria Moroles properly. The only really convincing actor was C. L. Simpson as Sylvie. Moroles' and Segan's dialogue also felt forced and convoluted, with Segan's occasional high-pitched voice squealing becoming cringe. The story had nothing much out of its basic narrative to offer - nothing really suspenseful or thrilling, or that wasn't cliched and predictable. For a comedy, we never laughed once. A decent effort for actor Segan to newly dabble in filmmaking, but maybe he wore too many hats on this one.