Muck

Muck is a lot of things... poorly lit... lacking plot... full of character dialogue that's trying way too hard to be Whedonesque... a shameless means to show various women naked.

The one thing Muck is not is a good movie. In fact, it's barely a movie.

We are thrown into a story mid-way with a cast of characters we get no introduction to. What little dialogue they have before they get killed doesn't do much to endear us to them, so why care about them being killed? Instead of characterization and backstory, Muck gives you extended scenes of a woman showering and a woman who apparently keeps a Victoria's Secret inventory in her purse putting on a one woman lingerie fashion show in a dive bar bathroom.

But wait, the movie has Kane Hodder! Surely that must give it some cred, right? Not as such. Kane Hodder as Hatchet under a ton of make up? Scary. Kane Hodder under a hockey mask? Scary? A shirtless, aging Kane Hodder splashing around having what is essentially a wrestling match in the climax of the movie? Not so scary. Kind of sad actually.

Muck wants to be Cabin in the Woods, but it's not funny or invention enough. Muck wants to be a softcore porn, but the movie's lighting is so bad you are better off watching scrambled porn channels. Muck wants to be a horror movie gorefest, but most of the kills happen JUST off camera and we're shown, instead, the killer or a nearby witness just getting karo syrup tossed on them.

Muck wants to be a movie but it isn't. If the excuse is "Well, it's the middle part of a trilogy released first," then that shows the director/writer/guy who clearly likes boobs had no original idea other than "Let's just show the movies out of order to confuse people."

So many films where portraying naked girls, running around screaming and then getting killed are being produced and don't these producers and directors know that it is getting old, mundane and just totally stupid.

I watch a film for its good plot, fine acting and some shocks here and there but this movie fails in everything a film should be. The girls seem like dumb bimbos, the lighting is too dark and you get to see many off them scream and run around like chooks without heads trying to escape some madman. It is one of these senseless films where there is poor dialogue and the acting could be so much better.

I feel a little ill knowing there are people who love watching half naked girls getting slaughtered and if this is to their taste, so be it, but I would be embarrassed releasing this sort of garbage.

No talent here!

What the... I have no words.

So lemme get this straight. You're 2 best friends were killed, you run for help, you decide hey - there's a bar, and there's a hot girl right there.. let's have a shot, and hey, I'm just gonna wash my face whilst I'm here because it's not like anyone is in any immediate danger of being savaged to death whilst they wait for me to save them. And the nudity... well my Husband loves a bit of T&A in a film (he's a guy,duh!) but even he couldn't understand why every girl in the move was flashing her silicones when they should perhaps be concentrating on , um I don't know..survival maybe?

We couldn't understand if this was a horror, comedy, or an audition for porno for the lovely leading ladies. That being said, the only thing they could do was take off their clothes as their acting skills left a LOT to be desired. Where did they find these girls?! In the back pages of a magazine me thinks.

How on earth this film got the green light for production, I have no idea. And we were so outraged by the sh*tness of the overall film, I signed up to IMDb just to warn others about not only wasting time watching this spaff, but actually destroying braincells by watching it.

How people have given this anything over 1* I don't know. I can only assume that there are a couple of 15yr old boys banging the bishop to the boobies.

So in short...I just died inside after watching this ..erm...'film'

(Oh, and the girl in the club bathroom changing her underwear 20 times???? WHY???)

DO NOT WASTE 1 SECOND OF YOUR PRECIOUS LIFE ON THIS FILM!!

The biggest spoiler I can mention about this film is that the Director, Steve Wolsh, is a graduate of Georgetown University with a major in marketing and management.

So his concept went like this: 'What does a horror flick need to sell?'

Now veterans of the horror genre would say story, story, story.

Steve's answer: Tits and Ass.

Apparently the film was funded via Kickstarter. All I can say to potential contributors for the 2nd round of funding for this series is: PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE DON'T. This man doesn't deserve your money. Mr Wolsh doesn't have the necessary skill set to make movies - nor will he ever have.

Well, perhaps only ones that don't need plot, sensible dialogue or actors that can actually act. Ones that come out of the San Fernando valley.

Hey Steve, I hear there's a lot of money to be made exploiting women in that particular genre!

If I could give this film a negative rating I would.

I'm not sure what the hell I just watched...but I liked it. It's hard to review, mainly because it's part of a larger story. (Or so they say). I'd recommend, but I do have two small issues: one, too much time is spent showing off the camera and what it could do, and two, enough with the women in various states of undress. In small doses you tend to expect it in these types of movies to be sure. Unfortunately the amount here is akin to Cinemax soft core porn.

I wish I could say more, but I honestly have no idea what I just watched.

I can't wait for the sequels!