The Rise of the Robots

Let's be honest, you didn't come to this movie expecting it to be a high budget film. This is just what it is, a fun little film by a guy that wanted you to have a good time. Just have fun with it and you'll have a good time.

Let's start with an asteroid/planet in outer space that changes directions, then cut to a view of the spinning Earth -- a desktop Earth globe complete with hemispherical seams and latitude/longitude lines -- from which is launched a cartoonish rocket carrying Voyager 2. Subsequent to its launch, Voyager 2 crashes into the planet Robotus -- and visibly shakes it!! -- causing mayhem and setting fire to some of its robotic inhabitants, who run around screaming (robots scream?).

After the carnage is over, the robots meet to discuss the so-called first strike weapon launched by the humans, complete with Voyager's "crummy music" and "bad pictures", and decide to teach the humans that robots are the superior species by using human technology -- like smart phones -- against them. They launch a spaceship from Robotus -- which looks like a giant, orange-light-lit Cocoa Puff -- to Earth.

At that point, I stopped watching. How this movie got 4 1/2 stars out of 10 is beyond my understanding. I had always thought that "Robot Monster" and "Plan 9 From Outer Space" were the epitome of bad science fiction movies, but this is right up (down?) with them. As a project by elementary school children, it just might be okay. As a commercial movie effort, it's amateurish and laughable at best.

In THE RISE OF THE ROBOTS, our mindless enslavement to technology is explained! Yep, we brought it all on ourselves, by launching the Voyager space probe back in 1977. It crashed on the planet Robotus, causing the robot inhabitants to unleash technological addiction upon us! Just like in STAR TREK: THE MOTION PICTURE!

Now, only Professor Beowulf, and two students, Stoner and Lottie, seem to know what's going on. Joined by the loveable hillbilly, Bubba, they set out to save the world from itself, before a coming invasion -predicted by the Mayans- obliterates us!

TROTR is a sub-zero-budget satire that takes aim at our dependence on gadgets, especially smart phones. The clunky, garbage can robots and other intentional cheeeze are -somewhat- fun, along the the semi-intermittent humor.

No, this isn't STAR WARS, so, don't expect anything overly, or even remotely spectacular. Instead, it's best to go in with lowered expectations, and enjoy the utter cheapness of it all. At 84 minutes, it does feel eternal, but you should know within ten seconds if you can tolerate this sort of thing.

FOR ADDED FUN: See if you can count the number of times that Stoner says, "dude"! For even more fun, multiply this number by pi...