Necronomicon

Right, well I have to admit that when I stumbled upon the 2023 horror movie titled "Necronomicon" and seeing that the movie had Lysette Anthony on the cast list, then of course I had to sit down and watch the movie. No doubt about that.

However, this movie is one of the worst Lovecraftian-inspired movies that I have stumbled upon. First of all, the movie starts off with more than 10 minutes of forcing the audience to sit through tedious monologue delivered by a man fully stripped of emotion, while he is driving recklessly through the streets while chased by the police. There was zero understanding of how laws of physics works in that long, long car chase scene, and it looked like discarded footage from a 1990s computer game. It was abysmal to watch.

Not even with the likes of Lysette Anthony and Bai Ling on the cast list did the movie stand a snowballs chance in Hell. The actors and actresses in the movie literally had nothing to work with in terms of script, dialogue or character gallery.

Then there was the prolonged dialogue, which was very repetitive, and the fact that someone pronounces the word "Necronomicon" as "Necromonicon" was just laughable.

The storyline in "Necronomicon" was rubbish, as were the majority of the acting performances and the delivery of the infantile dialogue. It felt like nothing more than an amateurish attempt at making a movie.

Do yourself a favor and stay well clear of "Necronomicon", especially if you enjoy the written works of Lovecraft.

My rating of "Necronomicon", from director Richard Driscoll, lands on a one out of ten stars. This was an abysmal affront to the legacy of H. P. Lovecraft.

I am quite sure there are some artistic snobs out there who will gush about how this is some esoteric masterpiece, and if you are one, go for it.

Otherwise, what crap.

The first 15 minutes is just painful to sit through. If I hadn't kept going I would only have given a single star as a drama school video class project, one where they were trying to copy Sin City ... but sooo badly. The script was abominable. The special effects were simply horrible. The lighting was high school at best ... or someone tryin to create an 'artistic masterpiece' (yeah right) and failing miserably. Once the big names started in with their cameos it got SLIGHTLY better, but I also hope a few agents are going to get an earful after they see the finished project.

For you artsy types, go for it. I am sure you will say thigs like "you just don't understand the ... (fill in the blank)". For me, I know street crud when I see it ... or step in it.

I only watched this movie because the other reviewers regarded it so poorly. Surely, it couldn't be that bad? They were not wrong. Everything they wrote is accurate. I made it 6 minutes in before I started fast forwarding through the rest. While it never really got any better, I did notice some naked ladies about half way through it. So, it does have that going for it. I really can't think of any other reason to watch this movie. It is not satisfying on any real level. That being said, I am sure the people that made this movie had a fun time and learned a great deal in the process. Now, I need to type 11 more characters.

I can see why this director has a total of 4 movies to his name, at least up until this one.

Other than the name, which the lead actor can't seem to pronounce correctly; there is so much not related to the H. P. Lovecraft or the Necronomicon. Not to mention the fact that I can't recall the last time a police helicopter fires heavy weapons in the middle of a city, taking out everyone but the bad guy. Who admittedly claims to not be driving his car, but still appears to be driving the car.

Aleister Crowley was not interested in the book, It's not bound in human skin and has nothing to do with Hell or demons. But then again as bad as this "movie" is I'm not surprised they just slapped the name on it just to get people to watch it. When characters can't say the name correctly, sorta points to the fact that the Director didn't know how to or just didn't care and was trying to churn out another movie.

I know less than nothing about making, directing movies but I know enough that when I hire someone and they say the name of what my movie is about, I would make the do it again; until they got it right.

Is it Necronomicon, Necromonicon, Necromomicron. When all else fails, lets just add boobs and ass, that'll make the movie so much better.

So... I'll watch pretty much any b-horror movie, and I've definitely seen my share. I also go to the Lovecraft Film Festival so I'm used to indie films. This was something else entirely. Firstly, it's like the makers of this film said "Hey. Let's use Lovecraft's name to suck people into". Then, it was like they hired a bunch of actors and gave them no guidance or direction. The narrator has no real emotion or intonation, its like he's reading cue cards off camera, Tom Sizemore clearly has 0 pronunciation coaching, and the lead is just boring as hell.

This is a movie that keeps referencing Aleister Crowley but it feels like someone read a wikipedia entry on Crowley and thought that was good enough research. In fact, they just read the wikipedia entry out loud in the film and then go "Gee whiz golly. How will I ever fight out more?"

And I haven't even begun to talk about how the CGI just looks like Inshot overlays...

This is a terrible film but not in any fun or redeeming way. Like its no "Manos: Hands of Fate" or "Birdemic" which have their merits as "so bad it's good" its just... bad.