Sky Sharks

I wanted to like "Sky Sharks" in the same way I wanted to like "Iron Sky 2".

Regrettably, in my view both have one flaw in common. A disjointed story, that tries to squeeze in far too many creative ideas. The end result is a tale that "hot foots it" from one idea to another. There's little in the way of lead in with plot holes so large, you could park a Panzer tank in them.

The result for the poor viewer, is hefty doses, of cognitive dissonance. Or put another way the story's a hot mess.

Other shortcomings include gratuitous, sensationalist violence and sex, that detracted even more from this flick.

On the upside the idea is a novel one, that mixes similar concepts from cheesy films like "Surf Nazi's Must Die (1987)" and the "Sharknado" film franchise. Its a fun, clever, mash up, that could have worked really well with more modest, measured handling.

Equally, some of the visuals are pretty decent too and once again, hint at the potential that lies within this way out and wacky concept.

In summary, this is marginally watchable. That said, if splatter films with lots of clumsy sex scenes, is not really your thing and you like a coherent story, in my opinion this might not be for you.

4/10.

Okay, so it's worth 3.5 / 10 rating, probably, in that the actors all spoke clearly enough to be heard, the script was probably printed ahead of time on paper, no mike booms were visible, and generally the lighting was good enough to see what was happening, most of the time.

My complaint is, there's not NEARLY enough nudity in this picture. I think movies of this ilk could be vastly improved by having just about everyone onscreen do the same performance as before, except naked. They shouldn't acknowledge the nudity, either. They should just do the scene as-is, completely starkers.

This would greatly improve the viewability in that at least the people waiting for nudity will have it, and those interested in the eye candy of the actresses will be able to have their interests met.

Overall, above avg special effects and a pinch of nudity thrown in. Tom Savini, the master of gore effects, brings his magic to this movie. Can't be all bad.

There are times in movie-watching life when you just know you shouldn't torture yourself by watching the whole thing...and for me, this was one of them.

I gave it 1 point because you have to, and for the over the top concept and beginning, but after that, it's just beyond pathetic.

Atrocious acting and script don't help, nor does the fact that it's obvious attempts are humour fail miserably. It really does seem like it was all the work of a drooling teenage boy getting his masturbatory fantasies onto the big screen.

The only possible grounds I can think of for sitting though the entirety of this, is you you're trying to punish yourself for some heinous act.

Yes, it is hard to make a film.

It is even harder to make a film in Germany.

It is the hardest to make a good film.

I didn't expect Sky Sharks to be good, but it is nearly unwatchable.

But hey, don't tell the filmmakers, because they will feel offended by it. Lie to them, tell them how great this piece of .... is, unless you want to be called out or blocked.

And you guys wonder why German movies have a bad reputation? Not because of the movies, but because of diva-filmmakers like you.

If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.