thedatingpersona

Watching Panda Plan was one of the most painfully cringe-inducing experiences I've had in a long time. Jackie Chan is a global icon, a legend who's given us decades of unforgettable action and charm. So how did we end up here? This film is a baffling mess that feels more like a propaganda puff piece than a movie.

The plot is nonexistent, the dialogue is insultingly bad, and Jackie-who we know can deliver so much more-looks like he's going through the motions with a forced smile. The whole thing reeks of pandering, with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer. Honestly, what does the CCP have on Jackie to make him embarrass himself like this?

Rippy, or The Red as the title card suggests, is NOT the horror-comedy it's being marketed as. Instead, it's an incredibly dull film that borrows heavily from Jaws but fails miserably at executing any of the key plot points. The tone is inconsistent, and the script is dreadful. Michael Biehn's character swings between cartoonish and trying to channel Robert Shaw, complete with their own cringe-worthy version of the USS Indianapolis scene.

Rather than focusing on the zombie kangaroo-barely featured in the film-we're subjected to a family drama about a cop whose alcoholic father's past is bizarrely glossed over by the whole town. Despite the credits listing a puppeteering team, every kangaroo scene looks like a low-quality video game cutscene with terrible color grading that doesn't match the surrounding shots.

There's nothing redeeming about this film. Don't waste your money-it's a complete lemon with zero entertainment value.