Patchwork

This movie is surprisingly decent. I was honestly expecting the worst (I really enjoy watching bad movies) but it wasn't as bad as I initially anticipated. The first act is not super promising, basically coming off as any other slasher/body horror film, but the tone almost immediately shifts with the reveal of the three being stitched together. The story is told in a sort of anthology or flashback type of way, going back to explain the lives of the three girls and how they ended up in the situation. The middle act begins to really pick up as the three girls begin to work together and go on a murder spree to find the person behind it all. Some of the jokes are spot on, and the majority of the performances are awesome considering the type of movie this is supposed to be. I was not expecting the twist, and the final act is awesome and fun. This may not be a top-tier movie by any means, but it is magnificently fun with some awesome gore, quips, and jokes.

It's dumb and it starts slow...but if you stick with it you'll probably be somewhere between mildly entertained and generally entertained.

Can't see anyone honestly saying this is the greatest thing they've ever seen, but I can honestly say that it's a decent time killer. You'll cringe at the stupidity. You'll roll your eyes at some of the scenes (ahem frat boys). You'll also laugh along the way, especially at the proposterousness and absurdities. And if you make it to the end, you'll probably kinda like it in an odd kind of way.

It's a strange, cheesy, corny kind of movie that never takes itself to seriously and neither should you. Watch it, enjoy it, and just let it be a dumb movie that you may in fact like.

You will love this. It has the irreverent and gleeful bloodshed and the same joyous ignorance of science fact that makes all the classic horror comedies, like the Basket Case series, work, as well as the grind-house style "Whiskey Tango Foxtrot" sensibilities. Not a laugh out loud style of horror comedy, but well loaded with chuckles and appreciative groans.

Fun, and full of grue. NOT a date movie, unless your date is a fan of gallons of blood and black market medical experiments, in which case, watch away!

It's an alright movie, the whole movie is spent trying to figure out who did this to them. Which is quite obvious from the get go, then there is another layer added in the third act of this, which didn't add to much depth to the story aside padding it out.

The movie is spit up into several different acts, which gives the movie a nice chance to flesh everyone out, some of them are quite good but they don't really add much to the story. The big bad, I would liked to have seen more of, like what where they doing before this. You saw snippets but you never really get to deep dive into it, the best part for me was the girls interacting with each other and the love interest. The whole going on a rampage and killing random people, I didn't really get but it added more to the run time.

There was some really dumb stuff to, like running away from the lab. Where they got Frankensteined, only to go looking elsewhere for the person who did this. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense, overall it's a decent movie, not sure if I'd watch it again. Frankenhooker is a much better movie but it was a decent watch.

Before getting into the review, here are my ratings for this movie.

I give the story, 0.75 out of 2: The direction, 1.25: The pace, 0.75: The acting, 1.25: And, the enjoyment level, 0.75. These give Patchwork 4.75 out of 10.

There are two bad things about the movie. The first is that they are calling it a horror. The second is the many links to Reanimator. These are intentional as the director thanks Stuart Gordon in the credits. It wouldn't have been so bad if the correlations weren't there to sell the film. It's good to pay homage but do it more subtly.

I was okay with the glowing green reanimator fluid, which was understated in its appearance. However, the more prominent character of the surgeon is in your face. He is loud, brash, and completely ignorant, and an idiot to boot. But, you can see Herbert West just under the skin. Regrettably, the actor Corey Sorenson is not Jeffrey Coombs, and the surgeon is not Herbert West. The writer, Chris Lee Hill, along with the director, Tyler MacIntyre, should have created their own character here. Somebody more believable and less the village fool.

The story goes a step further than Reanimator in the respect that science can now recreate people as they wish... by using spare body parts. And, with the reanimation agent, there's no longer any time limit to how long a limb can last... or even if it comes from a cadaver.

So, shades of Frankenhooker here, though Frank Henenlotter doesn't receive a thank you. And, Patchwork does walk like and look like an up-to-date Frankenhooker.

It's here the story gets too clever for its own good. It would appear that the flesh holds the soul and the memories and the feelings of the owner, and not the brain. Because when the three ladies get stitched together, each of their psyches and personas remains. So now the host body has two more people to contend with. Oh, the joys of hearing these women grumble, whine, and moan about their lives. This belly-aching becomes nerve grating fast. And, for me, it lost all the humour it possessed. These segments needed to be wittier and funnier. Maybe the writers should have gone down to their local comedy club and asked an expert for help. Though looking at the trash the movie industry calls humour nowadays, all this film needed were more severed phallic members. There's one guy who enjoys his food. But, wait... What's that in his hot dog? It doesn't look like a sausage to me.

Don't get me wrong, there are some humorous moments throughout the film, but not many. The slapstick comedy segments suffer from timing and direction issues. Both of which needed reviewing and tightening.

I do have to give MacIntyre credit as there are a few scenes that work brilliantly. The first time we realise that Patchwork is three people and not one is a brilliant well thought out segue, and it's carried out in a blink of an eye. Patchwork enters her house and walks through the door into her kitchen and finds her two new personas waiting. This is a fluid transition that you may not even notice. But it is great in its simplicity and effect.

The special effects are haphazard. Sometimes the fake limbs are too floppy, and you wonder if the team had forgotten to slip the bone in, to give it stability. Then you have the great fx of the stitched face. When we first see Patchwork you can differentiate between her skin doners. Each lady has different skin tones and textures. The reveal in the mirror is shocking and beautiful. I loved this scene and effect. It's a pity that in the later scenes you know the actress is wearing a second-rate mask. The women's skin tones and textures vanish.

The acting is above average, though I would have prefered one of the other actresses to take the lead as Jennifer. Both possess better acting skills and on-screen presence. Especially, Tracey Fairaway, who plays Elle. Elle is the only character who has depth. And I believe most of her richness is due to Fairaway,

Even Corey Sorenson isn't too bad. It's a shame they took the character in the direction they did. I would have liked to have seen what he could have done with a better role.

Patchwork is more Dark Fantasy than a horror. And, I can't bring myself to call it a comedy, either...

So if you like Dark Fantasies about stitched up women with some humour thrown in, then this may be for you. I can say I'll not watch this again; I'll stick with the original Gordon films as they're all superior. The film did make me laugh... and that's always good. And, I'm glad I saw Patchworks crazy stitched face, which will stay with me for a while.

Now speed on over to my Obsidian Dreams to find out where Patchwork tripped and fell in my ratings.

Take Care & Stay Well.