5-Headed Shark Attack

You know this movie is going to be ridiculous before you decide watching it. It's that kind of movie that you watch just to laugh at, sort of like Sharknado.

Pros:

• Hot girls

• Hilarious shark attacks

• Hilarious looking shark

Cons:

• Acting is terrible

• CGI is bad obviously. I mean, why would anyone spend a crap ton of money making a realistic looking 5 headed shark.

• No connection to characters at all. They make poor attempts to try to get you to not want someone to die.

• Attack scenes are very drawn out. When the shark is swimming, it makes it seem like it's going super fast and close, but then the camera cuts to the people and it's somehow not even close to them.

Being neither a purposely ridiculous joke film, nor a "so bad that it's good" B-movie, this movie just hovers in a dull middle territory that makes it not worth the watch.

Typical creature feature with all the dated and contrived plot points of random attacks which are first met with disbelief, followed by curiosity, and the eventual plan to go out and get/kill it. Not an ounce of creativity or originality (not that I was expecting it, but just another point in how dull it is) save for the shark having five heads. Although it doesn't match the film poster and does not look like a "demented starfish". It actually starts out with a believable enough four heads, but the fifth head that comes later requires too much suspension of any logic.

There's nothing too alarmingly or comedically awful about the production quality or the CGI (I mean, you can't expect Hollywood quality in the first place). Coupled with the contrived and sub-par writing, this leaves nothing to be entertained by, whether you planned to take the movie seriously or get your schadenfreude kicks out of mocking it.

We start with a cover graphic that can not count to five. It shows five fierce shark heads where, in this film there are only for on the front of the fish. I say 'suicide by shark' for good reason. Of course the shark heads must be 'fed' by unlucky actors but how about just a tad of creativity! We know it is suicide by shark to stand at the very tip of the boat, leaning toward the water, look for the shark while at the same time you might as well wear an 'eat me' sign. Or tip toe along the edge of a small craft, hardly able to keep your balance so that falling into the water is certain.

The project head, Thaddeus, wants to catch the shark. He takes his mostly eye-candy crew and, so far as I could tell, not a shred of equipment he would need to capture the shark if it swam to the boat and said 'take me.'

Red was the shark hunter type character from Jaws. Sadly he was given the silliest lines in the film. Does anyone see the shark, know where it is? And, my favorite, he's still alive... bullets won't kill him..... this after he handed out guns and has his crew shooting. Why, if bullets are useless?

Worst is the use of hand guns to kill any large monster. Red gives a girl a hand gun while others get rifles. The two cope on the police boat can have any weapon they wish. What do they choose against the beast....yup...little bitty pistols. There is nothing sillier then using and shooting little pistols at any large, thick skinned beast. Red was, of course right, bullets can not kill the beast. Boats are under attack for ten minutes before the cop calls for help. Someone said there were five writers. If true then they needed 8 or 10 to easily fix the above, unnecessary fails. On the plus side there were fun moments, especially the opening shark attack where all four 'major' heads decide its meal time!

By the numbers multi-head creature feature. Movie poster is not accurate. Shark has four heads in front; one on it's hind quarters. The rear head never eats anything. All five heads are angry though. Shark appears bullet proof. Insatiable appetite for twenty somethings and, ironically, a helicopter.

Horrible watch, won't watch again, and can't recommend.

This is a movie that was designed for a Bad Movie Night: the only way I can justify watching this trash.

To think that someone worked so hard on that shark for this.

The best thing about this movie is that Nikki Howard is hot: and that's a sign that there really anything good going on in the movie itself.