I Accuse My Parents

I'll be up front with you; I've never seen this movie in its original unadulterated form. I think if I had, I would found it a harmless (if slightly dull) melodramatic "message" film.

The truth is, I've only seen this movie as an MST3000 episode, and as such, it is one the funniest and most entertaining movies I've ever seen! Young Robert Lowell (the poet?) as Jimmy is endearingly dim-witted, and Mary Beth Hughes is charmingly wooden as his love interest. (I like her singing, by the way). But the clincher here is George Lloyd as Al, the kindly gravel-voiced father figure and church-going diner owner who tries to set our hero straight (good luck!). When Al's scenes come up, I rewind and watch over and over and over...

Early in their career, songwriters Jay Livingston & Ray Evans wrote the laughable "Are You Happy in Your Work?" (Do you never, ever shirk?). I suppose this makes the movie notable to trivia buffs, but the film and song are not really worth the effort. Thankfully Jay & Ray went on to write much better songs ("Buttons and Bows", "Silver Bells", "Que Sera, Sera", "Mona Lisa", etc.) for much better films.

Come on. Seriously. Who actually said that this movie would be a good idea? What idiot sat in a writing room and said "Hey! I know! A kid accuses his parents! For his lame crimes that he committed after gaining really weak mob ties!" And who said "Hey! I like it!" Yes, Jimmy is pitiful. And yes, he writes a dang fine essay (full of lies). But a angst-ridden teenager and a deceitful essay do not a good movie make. I cannot possibly imagine watching this movie without MST3K. It would be unbearable, especially the awkward singing numbers. I really enjoy the scene where Kitty and Jimmy meet for the first time when he is cleaning the window of the shoe store. That wonderful bit of classic cinematic romance goes on for about...10 minutes. What is going on there?? Why doesn't she just GO IN?? Come on, Kitty. Although she is not a bad actress (can't say as much for Jimmy), there is no chemistry at all between those two. It's like negative chemistry. My advice: stay far away from this movie if you don't see Joel and the bots in the corner. They make it a thousand times more enjoyable.

Of all the Mystery Science Theater 3000 Episodes I have seen, and I haven't seen that many, this movie is probably the least terrible of them all. Sure it is slow, boring, outdated, and without any redeeming quality, but at least it has a coherent plot and resembles a professional film. It isn't as bad as some other MST3k stinkers like "Manos: The Hands of Fate," "Mitchell," "Eegah," or "Santa Claus Conquers The Martians." However, if it weren't for Joel and the bots, I don't think I would have made it through the entire movie; which is true for all the MST3k movies.

The fact that "I Accuse My Parents" is a bad film shouldn't at all be surprising. After all, it's made by one of the cheapest of the so-called 'Poverty Row' studios of the 1940s==where entire scripts NEVER were bought for more than a few hundred dollars! Also, with an exploitation title like this, it sure sounds like a recipe for dreck.

The film begins with a trial. A young man is accused of manslaughter. In an insanely unrealistic moment, the judge asks the accused to come to the front of the room and talk about his life story. At first, it's all about how his childhood sucked because his parents were both self-involved jerks (hence the title), but so many of his actions seem to have little to do with his upbringing and more to do with that he's a total idiot! To earn some extra money, he goes to work as a courier for a mobster--and having absolutely no idea that he's doing anything illegal! Think about it--he gets paid huge amounts of money to do 'odd jobs' at all hours and he isn't suspicious! Anyway, but the end of his long story, the young man once again asserts that it's pretty much his parents' fault--at which point the judge summarily decides on his fate--with no deliberations, no additional testimony...nothing! And then, what follows, is the judge's message to the parents! Uggh...it's really pretty dumb. However, I must admit that despite being pure corn and bad script writing, it was, in an odd way, entertaining...yet still quite bad. For bad movie buffs, this sort of silly sermonizing and bad writing is exactly what they are looking for--and I can't recommend it enough for those who occasionally like a bad film. Dopey but easy to like.