Il mostro dell'isola

MORD39 RATING: 0 out of ****

I caught this foreign dud as a kid on television, under the alternate title of THE ISLAND MONSTER. It is without a doubt the lowest ebb of Karloff's career.

Those expecting a horror film will be dumbfounded, as this bomb is about a criminal dealing with drug smuggling (as far as I can tell) and kidnapping a little girl. I've seen my share of badly dubbed movies, from the Godzilla features to the European horror imports...but this one wins the award for all-time lousiest dubbing in a foreign film. Karloff didn't dub his own character, but the guy who did sounds like he's doing a cheap Boris impression! The voice of the distressed little girl must have been dubbed by a woman in her thirties or forties...it's a riot!!!

I guess if you want to laugh at the terrible English version, you can get a giggle or two out of this. It's not an easy film to find, but rest assured that if you never see it you shouldn't lose too much sleep; it's so atrocious that it makes the last bunch of Mexican features that Boris and Jack Hill worked on look like classics.

In the mid to late 1950s, many international actors starred in Italian films that were dubbed--so it didn't matter that actors like Anthony Quinn, Richard Basehart, Broderick Crawford or Boris Karloff didn't speak the language. However, it is very odd to see these films in English because when they are re-dubbed the original English speaker's voice is usually replaced with some voice actor. Here, despite seeing Boris Karloff, you instead hear a voice coming out of him that just doesn't sound like him--it's close but just doesn't sound like him--probably because often the voice and lips are out of sync. I can get used to this, but really wished they'd just subtitled the movie instead. But what I can't understand is when they use horrible voice actors for many of the other voices--ones that sounded bizarre. In this film, at times, it seemed like random people off the street did the voice-overs--especially since some could barely read their lines and the voice of Mario's child is absolutely horrid!! This child who appears about four has a voice that sounds like it comes from a teenager--talk about weird! Now in the case of the first three actors listed above, they appeared in some amazing Fellini movies. Unfortunately for Mr. Karloff, this was definitely NOT a Fellini movie--not even a Murry Fellini film! Instead, it's a very low-budget movie about cops and the mob--exactly the type of film in which you'd never expect to find Karloff. Sadly, in addition to the extremely lousy voice acting, the film has a rather annoying musical score (though the film is unusual in that there is very little incidental music), cheap sets and a rather thin plot.

While old Boris gets top billing, he really isn't the star of this dull suspense film and he is largely wasted. Instead, the main character is Mario--an undercover cop who's trying to infiltrate the mob. Unfortunately, Mario's wife is an idiot and she arrives in time to help spoil her hubby's cover--perhaps she liked the idea of mobsters bumping off her spouse, but I just think she was supposed to be a moron. Regardless if the wife was or wasn't the one to tip them off, the mob seems to know right away who he is and so they dispatch a sweet Italian dish to seduce the fellow. When the wife discovers this "other woman", the marriage is in trouble. And, to make things worse AND to ensure their wicked plans work, they also kidnap Mario's child.

The rest is rather uninspired and dull--certainly NOT one of Boris Karloff's brighter moments on film. Despite this being a very poor production and a waste of time, one reviewer actually gave it a score of 10!! Considering all the problems with the film and an IMDb score lower than 3, you should just assume that one really high score was made by a maniac!

Don't be fooled by the title or the presence of Boris Karloff, this is a dire Italian-made crime picture.

Any virtue the proceedings may have had (and that would seem to be precious little) is sabotaged by the atrocious dubbing. It is possible to get by dubbing little known Italian players, although the young child does sound as if she's been voiced by a woman whose inhaled too much helium, but to dub Boris Karloff is beyond forgiveness. Especially when it's been done by someone doing a half-hearted impression of the great man.

Plot-wise things are pretty grim too with all the clichés of the genre being firmly present and correct. There's a mysterious criminal mastermind, a smoky nightclub, a femme fatale and the requisite number of obvious double-crosses, lack lustre car chases and terrible dialogue. `It's impossible to get anywhere with you,' the nightclub singer sighs from deep within her cleavage, `you're so cool you're always sure to maintain your equilibrium.'

‘Our hero' is an undercover treasury agent and I can't help thinking that he needs a few pointers in how to do the job. The first thing he does when he arrives on the scene is to visit police headquarters and go out on a launch accompanied by the local chief officers. All in broad daylight! Not surprisingly it doesn't take long for the local crooks to blow his cover, although they do fail to recognise him later on when he poses as a member of a rival syndicate from Genoa. Perhaps it was his brilliant disguise of taking off his suit!

It's anybody's guess why Boris agreed to appear in this but perhaps roles were a little thin on the ground at this point in his career. On the other hand, it may simply have been that he fancied a free Italian holiday, which would also explain his presence in ‘Sabaka' (1954), a similarly eccentric choice from around this time. That one was filmed entirely on location in India. Nice work if you can get it.

Finally special mention must be reserved for `International Stars Jeanette and Bob' who present the worst nightclub dance act ever committed to celluloid. Sometimes seeing is believing.

It took four years for this to get a release in the U.S. I wonder why?

The first time I saw this I was a kid and it took me several minutes before the outrage settled in that I was listening to a dubbed in Karloff impersonator because the American distributor was too cheap to hire the old boy back for a proper dubbing by the time this hit the States some four years later. Although Karloff's movie work during the fifties was sparse and mostly lacking in real quality he was very much in demand having been rediscovered by whole new generation who were watching his thirties and forties films on T.V.'s syndicated Shock Theater". Karloff was also doing books,radio programs,Quiz shows,Broadway,revivals of Arsenic and Old Lace,albums full of fairy tales and several great TV dramas including Joseph COnrad's Heart Of Darkness for Playhouse 90. So if a stinker like this came along it probably had something good in it for him like a decent pay and a vacation as others pointed out but even though the market Karloff's style of horror was down at the time he was hardly unwanted or wanting for cash. A few years later Corman would hire him and he would work steady until the day he died. He even sang the Peppermint Twist on a Halloween segment of the sixties rock show Shindig. But what of Island Monster? Well it looks nice and seedy and the Femme Fetale is pretty juicy but the script is talky and nothing really happens in the way of real action. It just sort of plods along like ketchup in December waiting drop on a rancid fry.Karloff still escapes with dignity intact but the star of the show is the trained dog who is there to remind you that you can go along way by being cutesy pootsey.

If you've never had the displeasure of seeing this Italian ISLAND MONSTER (also known as LE MONSTRE DE LA ILE) let me assure you it's easily Boris Karloff's worst film, hands down (I'm not counting the Karloff-narrated MONDO BOLARDO). This is so bad it makes VOODOO ISLAND and his last Jack Hill Mexican "cameo" pictures look good. Not at all a horror film, Karloff plays a seemingly good-natured old soul who's really involved in drug smuggling and all sorts of other underhanded activities on a secret island location. One of these involves him kidnapping the little daughter of an investigator who's been sent from Naples to monitor his movements.

The film makes little sense, but as lousy as it is there's still something oddly fascinating about watching Boris in such a production, amidst the picturesque setting. Style is non-existent with the exception of one fleeting moment where Karloff interrogates the crying child in darkness. The English dubbing is abysmal yet it provides unintended laughs as we hear some guy doing a really bad Karloff impression while an obviously adult woman provides the silly whines and whimpers of the frightened little girl who's been taken hostage. That's funny stuff, and prime fodder for all you MST3K nuts out there. * out of ****