Muscle Beach Party

This has to be the weakest entry in the entire series. Even though the muscle heads make great adversaries for our favorite beach bums they aren't as interesting as Eric Von Zipper and his gang, the Rats. The main story has been done a thousand times in many other pictures. Also, the music in this film isn't as good as it was. Dick Dale's scenes are a waste and the rest of the songs are just filler. One saving grace for this film is Don Rickles.

He really is the one saving grace of this film. To me the next two films in the series, "Bikini Beach" and "Beach Blanket Bingo", were much better than this one. However, this film isn't as bad as the final Avalon/Funicello film in the series, "How to Stuff a Wild Bikini".

Perhaps unappreciated in its time, William Asher's 1964 saga about the tribulations of living jobless and care-free on California's sunny coast, surfing whenever "Surf's up," and dancing for no apparent reason at all (whether it be on the beach or in some restaurant), really captures teen angst during the sixties. Frankie Avalon shines as "Frankie," the glossy-haired, young, ambitious, and maybe a little naive, leader of the beach gang. His counterpart, "Dee Dee," played by Annette Funicello, gave an Oscar-caliber performance. Through a heartbreaking scene that opens with Frankie surfing at night, Dee Dee loses Frankie to an older, richer woman. During the entire film, when I wasn't laughing hysterically at the shear absurdity or chuckling over the image of a producer actually signing on to such golden garbage, I was cheering for Annette. Why Frankie ever decided to ditch his one true love is a mystery. Also noteworthy is Don Rickles' performance as a man-breeder, Buddy Hackett's role as the sensible accountant, and an introductory appearance by "Little" Stevie Wonder. This film comes highly recommended.

"Frankie" (Frankie Avalon), "Dee Dee" (Annette Funicello") and the other characters who make up the surfer gang are back in this sequel to "Beach Party". Sharing the beach is a group of bodybuilders led by their trainer, "Jack Fanny" (Don Rickles) who has little regard for those who aren't part of his team. Also interested in a particular bodybuilder is an extremely rich and beautiful countess by the name of "Julie" (Luciana Paluzzi) who wants "Mr. Galaxy" (Peter Lupus) for her very own. Yet, just when she manages to buy the entire bodybuilding team she just happens to hear Frankie sing and everything suddenly changes as she quickly forgets all about Mr. Galaxy and falls madly in love with Frankie instead. But before Julie can get Frankie she has to first contend with Dee Dee. At any rate, rather than reveal any more of the story I will just say that this particular movie wasn't nearly as good as "Beach Party". For starters, other than the performances of Frankie, Annette, Luciana and possibly Buddie Hackett (as Julie's manager, "S.Z. Matts") there really wasn't anything that remarkable about this film. Clearly, the inordinate amount of time spent on "Candy" (Candy Johnson) didn't help in that regard as she didn't add anything new or different than her previous appearance. Personally, I would have preferred to have seen a bit more of Valera Noland (as "Animal") or a couple of other attractive ladies. But that's just my opinion. In any case, I rate the movie as slightly below average.

Despite lots of musclemen in the supporting cast, "Muscle Beach Party" could maybe use some steroids. The first follow-up to "Beach Party" is a bit lackluster and talky, and the pacing drags. Frankie (Frankie Avalon) and Dee Dee (Annette Funicello, no longer 'Dolores') feud over another woman who's out to snare the cocky surfer-boy (when Dee Dee tells Frankie how selfish he is and that all he ever does is 'take', the movie touches on some surprisingly prickly teen emotions). But the witty lines and funny repartee of "Beach Party" have mostly been replaced by wan slapstick and too many characters (and too much of Don Rickles). Candy Johnson does her version of dancing ("Man, she's really got the power!"), "Little" Stevie Wonder sings "Happy Street", and the surfing footage is fun, but Harvey Lembeck's Eric Von Zipper is AWOL (there wasn't room for him, what with Luciana Paluzzi as a millionairess, Buddy Hackett as her manager, and a dozen musclemen lining the beach). Annette is lovely singing forlornly as Frankie paddles out to sea, but she's far too patient with him (in one scene alone, he makes up with her, then drops her, then makes up again!). Not the strongest entry in the series, but with a few colorful compensations. **1/2 from ****

I wouldn't think you could go far wrong with both Don Rickles and Buddy Hackett, but I was mistaken. Rickles plays an unfunny coach who never gets any laughs while he works with a group of oily muscle men (that may be your thing; it's not mine). Hackett (whom I don't believe I've ever seen looking so trim and normal) is no more than the aide to a rich heiress (Luciana Paluzzi) who sets her sights on Frankie Avalon, much to the disapproval of his girl Annette Funicello. All the vignettes going on herein are disjointed and tiresome, and Candy Johnson (who reminds me of a young Polly Holiday from the ALICE TV series) isn't as alluring as she thinks she is when regularly shaking her booty and causing men to freeze-frame and fall off their surfboards... and not even having the indecency to wear a bikini while doing it. John Ashley is present too. Don't ask me what the point of having Morey Amsterdam in this mess was. Peter Lorre pops in for a short time in a humorous cameo, and at the end we get to enjoy the very young Little Stevie Wonder do his stuff, but it's not enough. It's not very often you can say the end credits sequence is the best thing about a film, but that was the case here. *1/2 out of ****