Hell's Angels '69

I'd watch "Hell's Angels 69" a hundred times before I'd watch "Easy Rider" again. If you are tired of stoner biker movies where essentially nothing happens other than perhaps several pretentious ego trips, then skip "The Wild Angels", and come along for a ride with the real deal, "Hell's Angels 69". This is a film that actually has a plot, infiltrating a biker gang to pull off a casino heist, while leaving the bikers holding the bag. Things don't exactly go as planned, ending with a desert chase on dirt bikes, and a final showdown. Sonny Barger and his authentic cycle gang buddies deliver realistic performances not found in other biker films. Recommended of it's type. - MERK

"Hell's Angels '69" takes the premise of "The Thomas Crown Affair" and re-tools it as a biker flick. It's a clever idea, and "Hell's Angels '69" is better than most biker flicks from this period, with a bit more story, character development and subtext. Unfortunately, it's still not much of a movie.

The movie's first misstep is revealing its hand from the beginning: Tom Stern and Jeremy Slate are crooks, not "real" bikers. Knowing this from the get-go removes an element of mystery, and the story might have been a bit more interesting had this fact been revealed later. Then again, the moment Stern and Slate hook up with the Hell's Angels -- featuring actual members of the notorious biker gang -- it's obvious they're not the rough n' tough bikers they claim to be. A big tip off: Slate asks the gang's sole "old lady," Conny Van Dyke, if she's ever considered settling down, getting married and raising children. Van Dyke is too clean-cut looking to really pass as a jaded biker chick (she looks much more at home in the powder blue dress and low-heeled pumps she dons later in the movie), but since that's the role she's playing one would assume she'd become suspicious when Slate starts talking like a high school guidance counselor. Apparently, these Angels were so impressed by Stern and Slate's bike tricks ("Watch this!") they're willing to overlook the guys' square tendencies.

Another misstep -- and one I'm surprised was allowed to happen -- is featuring real Hell's Angels and sanitizing them. In this movie, the gang just likes drinking Olys, riding their choppers and perpetrating vandalism, pretty much in that order. The guys get nasty in the final act, but for much of the movie they're presented as nothing more than 1950s juvenile delinquents with beards and a fondness for Nazi memorabilia.

Finally, "Hell's Angels '69" makes the same mistake of almost all biker movies: overestimating the entertainment value of guys riding bikes. You get plenty of footage of the gang riding down two-lane highways, riding through Vegas, riding through the desert, and, of course, riding through town while frightened squares look on. Yeah, they're bikers, we get it, but a little goes a long way, and it makes "Hell's Angels '69" go on a little too long.

This movie is about two dudes that most likely hung out with real Hell's Angels after they became popular and sold-out in the late 60's and came up with a "perfect heist" type movie using the Angels as props for their caper.

Unfortunately for their characters, the Hell's Angels are a force of nature, similar to fire, and you can't play with them without eventually getting burned.

And unfortunately for you, I really can't tell much more about the movie without giving everything away. I'm not sure if the plot and character development was intended to develop over the course of the movie, or if they just made it up as they went along; but that was the main thing that made it interesting, so I'm not really able to tell you anything more without ruining it.

Oh, but the best part about the movie: they used real Hell's Angels to play the Hell's Angels. They even use their real names. And if you think that the REAL Oakland Angel's were going to be in a movie in which they end up the suckers, you've got another think coming. As I said, the Hell's Angels are a force of nature and are not to be trifled with. Just give them their due, and pray they let you walk away.

Tom Stern and Jeremy Slate are swing bachelor's planning to hijack a casino, ala "Ocean's 11", and pin it on the Hell's Angels. Bad move. For a film with the words Hell's Angels AND the number 69 AND featuring actual Hell's Angels, this movie is surprisingly tame. The Hell's Angels truly deserve a better film to be centered around them. Not this snoorefest. Luckily this is one of the DVDs that features commentary by Joe Bob Briggs so the pain of having to sit through it is greatly alleviated. If you watch it any other way, let me recommend something to you. DON'T!!

My Grade: D

DVD Extras: Joe Bob Brigg's commentary; Conny Van Dyke's message to her fans (she has more than one?); Photo gallery; Theatrical Trailer; and Trailers for "Blood Shack", "Hell High", "Samurai Cop", and "The Hollywood Strangler"

After the success of Roger Corman's Wild Angels in the mid sixties, there were probably a hundred or so biker movies flung out to the masses. Most with Hell's Angels or some rip off version of The Angels' name. All shared some degree of low budget schlock value. This movie is completely different from the rest!

First, it has a decent and interesting plot and even some back story subtext between the two brothers in the movie. Secondly, it has an original soundtrack that, although slightly dated, isn't that bad. A sort of psychedelic garage band plays at the party at the beginning of the movie. Also the movie seemed to have a decent budget spent in all the right places. Lastly, The actual Oakland Hell's Angels appear in the movie as not only extras but speaking and acting roles and their actually not too bad.

So I highly recommend this to motorcycle movie and crime caper fans. If nothing else, it's got the most real Harley's and choppers you will ever see in a 60's/70's biker flick.