Alvin Purple

A tremendous film that is an excellent example of the Ocker films that characterized Australian cinema in the early 70s. Alvin Purple is not a good looking man, in fact you could say that he is pretty ugly. Nor is he funny or a man of great character in any sense. But somehow, for reasons unknown, he is irresistible to women. He attracts women wherever he goes: on the bus, in the park, even just walking down the street.

The film contains a significant amount of sex and could be classified as a soft porn movie, but the sex is not for erotic purposes, but for comedic purpose as the audience cannot stop laughing as this awkward man who seems to know nothing about women has sex more times in a week than most people do in a lifetime.

But there is more to the movie than just comedic sex, the film is also a character piece as it shows the alienation that Alvin feels as he struggles to make his way through life. The multitude of sex that Alvin engages in contrasts his life of total isolation, as he tries to find someone that he can truly connect with.

This film is truly an original and a must for students of film. Australian Cinema has an amazing history and the Ocker Films and Alvin Purple are an instrumental part of it.

Christ on a bike, were they trying to do an Oz version of Gone With The Wind here? Flashbacks, psychology, voiceovers, time-lapse photography, courtroom drama only for a sexcomedy about an average Ocker whom the girls can't resist? How much attention and energy did the producers think I'm willing to invest?

Actually lead actor Graeme Blundell with his odd, impish charme is the movie's biggest asset. The girls are simply not that hot for an escapist fantasy and their roles are far too ambitious and grandiose. There are not nearly enough nor good enough saucy scenes; when at long last one of them gets her knockers out, the scene turns into a painting-each-other-with-acrylic-colours hippiefest, and the plot is at the same time complex but not interesting enough.

There are some nice scenes of bygone Melbourne though.

"Alvin Purple" is surely one of the most boring movies ever made. Sure, it's got quite a bit of nudity (most of it from its unattractive star, Graeme Blundell), but you'll need to fast-forward through much of its run-time if that's all you want to get out of it.

It's also not amusing in the least. There is not one laugh to be had throughout its estimated 4 hour length.

The plot is something about a boring, ugly guy who is irresistible to women but does not reciprocate this attraction. He's not gay, just not interesting enough to be interested. In anything.

I think the filmmakers took cues from "The Graduate", with its inert, homely star and his paramour. In this one there's more sex, less humour, and above all, more tedium. It's one of those movies where it feels like nothing happens for the longest part of it. There's an endless court scene which leads to a car chase and then something to do with sky diving...

Oh, and of course the one woman Alvin is really interested in, the goody two shoes who never takes her clothes off despite being better looking than all the ones who do. At this point I am forced to conclude that Graeme Blundell's Alvin is not just unattractive, but repulsive. I couldn't watch this movie toward the end and I may as well blame him as its most visible target. I pray to god I never have to sit through this again.

For reasons I now forget, I queued up "Alvin Purple" on my Quickflix list, and it turned up the other day. It may have been the Tim Burstall connection, as I had watched "Stork" again not so long ago, which in turn was inspired by "Oz", and I won't bore you further about that chain-of-command.

Now, I saw AP first many years ago, probably at the cinema, and then again ... what ... 10, 15 years ago? Whatever, the only scenes I could remember were the opening, on the tram heading down, I would now say, Royal Parade (which before I would have bet was St Kilda Rd), and he confronts our own Abigail. I still think of, and use, the "Jeez you've got nice tits", line to this day.

And the second is when he rides his bicycle into the garage door at the (Nth Balwyn?) home of his teacher, whose wife is committing almost-but-not-quite statutory rape on the schoolboy Alvin.

The film was and is notorious for many reasons, not for its Brian Cadd soundtrack but more for the full-frontal nudity that was exceptional for its time in mainstream cinema, (In the interviews Jacki Weaver talks about her nude scene with nostalgic coyness), and possibly for its conceits that a) women not only enjoy sex but b) go after it.

Of course, we all know some guys who are "lookers", in that they have that certain, special something that attracts women. Invariably we shake our heads in wonder.

After watching the film, I see that there are some extras, so I have a look and there is a contemporary "making of .." documentary, which is truly fascinating, and some much later interviews with the main people that you can miss no worries.

So I watched the "making of" and then so educated, I soberly watched the movie again, just now.

It's terrific. Ok, it's a piece of Aussie junk but it has a good story; good script (written by Aussie playwright and actor); and chock full of nostalgic icons like Crest Lager, Chrysler Chargers, and footage of Melbourne in the good old days.

I highly recommend it for a fun night in. If the Catholic Church got upset by "Life of Brian", one can only gleefully imagine their apoplexy at the idea of nuns getting hot for Alvin as he keeps the convent's garden.

Note the soundtrack at this point: "Gingerman" in an early Cadd arrangement.

This is the first sex comedy I ever watched in my life. Sure I watched a lot of films that considered themselves as sex comedies but there was no sex in them, just some goofy romance. Sure there were some of those teen sex movies that came close but this movie is about adults has a lot of sex and it's very funny.

I also think this is very good Don Juan movie, I mean it's heck of a lot better then that "Don Juan" movie with Johny Depp. Besides what I also enjoy about Australian movies is that they are not pretentious. They are not burdened with the notion "Will it get an award on some movie festival or not." No! This movie doesn't care about that, it doesn't try to be something more than it is. I watched a lot of those "coming of age" movies when you see some fellow's sudden sexual awakening and then director gets to much worked up over it and tries to be a philosopher about how people change when they loose their virginity. But not this movie, which thankfully delivers more than those movies can hope to.