Invasion U.S.A.

First off, let's just make it clear that my friend James is an idiot. Look at the cast credits... no credits for the President, let alone his daughter...

Anyhow, despite what James said, INVASION U.S.A. is yet another Chuck Norris epic of patriotism and action. Chuck Norris saves the day and kicks Richard Lynch's butt back to Russia in this 1980's classic. It's nothing spectacular that would be deemed a must see, yet I can't avoid sitting back and watching this movie when it is on TNT (they know drama alright).

Chuck Norris goes on to do WALKER, TEXAS RANGER and SIDEKICKS. Richard Lynch goes on to film WEREWOLF with veteran actor R.C. Bates, the best worst movie ever made.

Sit back and relax America, Chuck's got our back.

...the Israel-based film company responsible for roughly 50% of all the B-movies made in the mid-80's. And that's a crying shame. This one is a doozy, even by their standards, and in some ways could be said to be the quintessential 80's action film: it's violent, features a lot of excessive explosions, is moronically jingoistic, and features drug-dealing Communist terrorists as the bad guys. Chuck Norris stars as a former Special Ops agent who has retired to the bayou, where he drives an airboat and captures gators with his Native American buddy. Chuck's introductory scene, at the controls of his airboat, shirtless and wearing a denim vest as his mullet flaps in the wind, tells you all you need to know about his character.

Richard Lynch co-stars as the villainous ex-Soviet agent Rostov, who has amassed a small army with plans to take over America. Their vicious assault on the typical American suburban neighborhood (during Christmastime, no less!) will set your patriotic blood boiling. It's up to Chuck, his jacked-up pickup truck, and his tiny machine guns, to save the day. Also featuring Melissa Prophet as a tepid love interest, but this movie doesn't really care about that kind of mushy stuff, so she's barely there. Slimy movie bad guy Billy Drago shares a scene with lead baddie Lynch, and it becomes a real sleaze-off as to who is the creepiest. Directed by Joseph Zito, and Chuck worked on the screenplay. At one point, Chuck takes time out to watch Earth vs the Flying Saucers on TV. Even during a Communist invasion, you have to take time for the good things in life.

Oh come on! This movie is hilarious!!

Chuck Norris is the funniest action hero since Charlie Sheen in "Hot Shots Part Deux"! Of course the plot (what there is of one) is completely ridiculous, and only exists to have an excuse to blow stuff up and for Chuck to beat people up. This only adds to the laughability! I highly recommend this to any person looking for the ultimate in exagerated action films. And those quotes! Classic!!

"If you come in here again, I'll hit you with so many rights..you'll beg for a left!"

A large group of international terrorists led by Soviet agent Rostove invade America unexpectedly and go on to turn country against each other. However after turning down the job, ex-government agent Matt Hunter takes up the assignment, when they kill his friend in an attack that was aimed at him. Rostove and Hunter share a past, and now Hunter wants to seem him dead and Rostove fearful obsession of Hunter could disrupt their plans of turning America against each other.

Who you kidding? No one can take down Chuck. Not even an army of international mercenaries! Gee this is gold medal stuff from Norris (whose name appears in bold gold letters to head the credits) and he even co-wrote the insane screenplay. Touchdown! Get ready for something so stupendously outrageous and wonderfully dumb that you'll get an all out assault on your senses and plenty "bang" for your buck. While your funny bone will get a real tickle out of it! Director Joseph Zito and actor (or better put karate champ) Chuck Norris tackle this preposterous, but always riveting anarchy macho action camp that the 80s loved to heave up. Plenty of gunfire assured and Norris showing off with those eye-opening moves (no not that bare chest sticking out of his always half/or unbuttoned shirt), but the main weapon of choice seemed to be anything that caused numerous explosions. Meaning a high and random casualty rate! Zito's bravura style never lets up, as the crunching stunt-work holds up strongly and the perverse violence towards innocence amazes. Joao Fernandes' professionally shoots the film with the right scope to capture the mayhem and Jay Chattaway's roaring score fits ruggedly into the mix.

A denim wearing Norris is looking comfortably stiff and expressionless throughout as former CIA agent Matt Hunter. The excellent Richard Lynch goes monstrously hammy as the mastermind villain Soviet agent Rostov and Alexander Zale sticks to a rather icy and relaxed mode as his right-hand. Showing up in smaller parts is a bored looking Eddie Jones, the feisty and useless irritation that was Melissa Prophet and Billy Drago as a greasy drug dealer. Now that armadillo was a star. I thought Norris was going to have a buddy to work off, but it seem to get the boot.

The hysterical premise is corn, laughable and downright punishing in its look at the heart of America and Reagan-era that turns the country upside down. It done with serious faces, which only makes it more stupid and plot holes are that large due to probably all of those explosions. Norris character must've been so gifted in that he was the everywhere man with his pick-up truck. How does he do it? How does he know? Because he was at the right place at the right time to prevent what he could… well 99% of the time. However nothing beats how he manages to disappear then reappear to stump those villains. They didn't know what hit them! The juvenile script on the other-hand did, but these carefree one-liners were ridiculously fun and Norris always had a way with words. The less the better.

Loud and senseless gung-ho gusto. With security like Norris, America should never fear an invasion on their doorstep.

There's a 20-minute stretch in 'Invasion U.S.A.' where Chuck Norris' Matt Hunter character keeps showing up out of the blue to thwart various Commie terror attacks that his character would have had no clue were about to take place. We all know the real Chuck Norris is omniscient, but who knew that his characters were as well? 'Invasion U.S.A.' is high on dead bodies, and low on logic and common sense, but it's a fairly well made film from the technical side, and seeing Norris operate at the peak of his hairy-chested machismo is always a treat.

Best Chuckism; "If you come back in here, I'm gonna hit you with so many rights you're gonna be beggin' for a left.".