ALF Tales

This show kept my imagination running on Saturdays. Anything could happen. ALFTALES was totally deranged in every way. They did "Jack And The Beanstalk" as a Hitchcock movie,"Rumpelstiltskin" as an homage to film noir,and all sorts of inspired,brilliant insanity.

ALFTALES was an animated spin-off of the live-action ALF TV series. I wasn't a fan of the live-action series and I only stumbled into this show by accident . . . and am I ever glad that I did. ALFTALES is one of those cartoon shows in the tradition of ROCKY & BULLWINKLE, THE SIMPSONS and KING OF THE HILL, in that it uses the traditionally children show-dominated field of animation to tell stories with adult ideas. ALFTALES was actually two shows in one: The actual part called ALFTALES was like the "Fractured Fairy Tales" part of BULLWINKLE. It would take a fairy tale or nursery rhyme and put their own spin on the story. For example, "Rapunzel" dealt with a prince who would speak in rap ("Rap-unzel", get it?) while trying to get into the tower of the princess with the REALLY long hair. A spoof of "Jack and the Beanstalk" had Jack and his "mother" running a certain motel from a certain Alfred Hitchcock movie. In fact, this story is filled with Hitchcock references as the Giant talks like James Mason in NORTH BY NORTHWEST and "Jimmy Stewart" even makes an appearance. There was a scene in "Jack" that would indicate that this wasn't specifically a "kiddie" show: Jack looks at the Janet Leigh character as she walks out of the motel lobby. He looks at the camera and comments to the audience "You'd HAVE to be PSYCHO to not be impressed by that." Not exactly children's material. The other half of the show just chronicled Gordon Shumway's (ALF's real name) life on his home planet of Melmac with his family and friends. This segment was just as funny as the ALFTALES segment. This show had a really cool theme song that was sung in the style of Fifties' rock tune. I'd like to know the lyrics to it as they sounded as hip as they were funny. I'll be keeping a lookout to see if these episodes turn up on video or DVD. They'd be worth collecting.

AlfTales, along with the maniacally inspired Alf cartoon, was, of course, short-lived. Only the good die young.

AlfTales spoof both a fairy tale and a film genre simultaneously, with often surrealistic results. One treasured moment is the Cinderella-meets-Elvis episode, in which the father summons the new evil stepsisters ... "Oh, Janet! --- Latoya!" The horrid stepfamily ("played" by Alf's Melmac neighbors, the Fustermans) inform the horrified girl that they're also a rock-and-roll group, and launch into an off-key intro: "We're ... (bum-bum-bum-bum) ... The Evil Step-Tones!" The blimb from Blade-runner puts in an appearance announcing that Gordo (our Elvis take-off) will be choosing a bride at his concert tonight. Cinderella's Brandoesque fairy godMOTHER(?) grants favors with a tap of his magical cigar. The evil stepsisters notice that the transformed Cinderella looks very familiar ... "She looks just like... like... Teri Garr!" (And at that moment, you notice that strangely enough, she does, despite the snout and pink hair.)

Back on Melmac, Marcel Duchamp is in charge. A favorite pasttime is a variation on miniature golf played with dustpans and cans of anchovy paste. The Schmidlap family of Methanol Falls is introduced as a possible set of contestants on Wheel of Cheese. Gordon's father works in a mayonnaise mine, where the lodge members chant, "Mayonnaise is more than sandwich spread... it's in our hearts and in our heads." A Bondesque villian infiltrates the Furry Chunks cereal factory as part of an evil plan to win the Sweepstakes Adventure. The muscle bound Gut-Squisher with an Austrian accent shows pathological devotion to his Cuddly Naptime Aardvark. You get the idea.

If you can find old tapes, snatch them up. If you find reruns, record them. Share them with demented friends and children. Like a good wine, animated Alf and AlfTales episodes improve with age.

It may sound like hyperbole, but the ALF cartoons rank with Rocky & Bullwinkle and other Jay Ward/Bill Scott creations - Fractured Fairy Tales, Mr. Peabody, Dudley Do-Right, George of the Jungle, et al - as some of the funniest cartoons ever created. Not in the same genre as cartoons from the golden age of the movie studios - MGM, Tex Avery, Warner Bros. etc. - but of the same limited animation as R&B where story and dialog count as the essential elements. These mini-masterpieces did more than achieve a high level of hilarious, dead-on satire, but also captured the spirit of the time in which they were created.

Classic fairy tales, an 80s cult figure and great Saturday morning drawings make this cartoon another masterful entry into ALF history and the universe surrounding this legendary figure.