Invasion Earth: The Aliens Are Here

The premise of the movie had least some potential: deliberately crummy looking aliens invade a small town movie theater which is screening a B-movie marathon. The aliens take over the projection booth, to enact their plan to first numb the mind of the audience with the terrible films they are watching, and then when the audience is at their weakest, in some nonsensical to control them in order to take over the world. Naturally only a group of young kids are the only ones aware of what's really going on, and it's up to them to save the day.

Now of course, this isn't exactly the material for the next Citizen Kane. But that said, there's no reason this movie couldn't be some cheesy fun, maybe as a "monsters gone mad" movie the likes of Gremlins (1984) or Critters (1986), or perhaps as a nostalgic throwback to monster the movies of days gone by, the likes of say The Monster Squad (1987), or at least Transylvania-6-5000 (1985).

Apparently there was a reason it couldn't be any fun.

The problem is while the movie is about aliens making an audience watch old movies, that's the ONLY thing this movie is about. The thing is, there are more scenes of these old movies, than there are scenes of the actual movie itself! I'm serious; about 80, perhaps even 90 percent of the movie is simply clips from old B-movies. Out of the few and far between clips of original footage, most of it simply consists of the audience members watching these clips. There is perhaps only 10 minutes worth of actual "plot" scenes in the entire 79 minute film.

So it's not really a movie; it's just a 79 minute montage of scenes from other movies, occasionally inter-cut with clips of aliens making an audience watch the said montage. It's as if the filmmakers starting off by trying to make a movie about this group of kids, but then ran out of film 10 minutes in, so they had to make up the rest of the movie with stock footage. In fact even out of the original footage in the movie much of it gets reused over and over again, but set to different voice tracks.

The film is just wasted potential. Of course it couldn't have been a masterpiece, but it could have been a bit of harmless fun. Thank god I only paid bargain bin price for the DVD.

I was after the BBC DVD of Invasion: Earth, that really rather good mini series, but somehow received this terrible dross in the mail. I never suspected for a minute it would be a serious horror film; yet neither did I suspect it would be this tragically incoherent mess. There are theoretically good ideas: The now-irrelevant commentary on the human condition of wasting time in movie theatres, could have been a good basis for exploration, but it is hokey and poorly executed. The various pastiches of sci-fi horrors of the B movie days, while obviously a good idea on paper, are also horribly done. This is probably given that the low budget prevented any good material. But in the face of a low budget, most films of this ilk would have some truly clever dialogue, but not in this movie. The only redeeming feature comes from that which the film makers didn't even accomplish themselves. That is, to say, the clips of the B movie films of the bygone era of cinema, are a fun nostalgia trip. Unfortunately, you'll find yourself being irritatingly interrupted from watching classic moments from films such as Them, and The Blob, by the amateurish and childish plot.

AVOID LIKE SWINE FLU.

Oh God! I wish I could communicate how bad this film is - but just having watched this film I somehow seem to have lost the use of the English language and the will to live.

No matter how bad a movie is (and I have watched a LOT of bad movies recently) there is always some redeeming feature: a horrendously ill-written line, an idea that falls flat on its face, a moment of unintentional humour - something. There's always a little something that lifts it for a moment and leaves you with a warm nugget of discovery - something to hold on to as the rest of the mindless drivel flickers past your eyeballs... this movie's only redeeming feature is that it is just 78 minutes long.

It is crap. Pure unmitigated, grade Z, unadulterated, high-fibre, total sh*t from the hopelessly confused start to the pathetically flat non-ending.

I wish I could vote it a zero. No! I wish I could vote it MINUS 10!

I want my 78 minutes back!

My review was written in September 1988 after watching the movie on New World video cassette.

Part fiction, part compilation, "Invasion Earth: The Aliens Are Here" is a subpar nostalgia piece for monster movie fans. Lightweight effort bypassed theatrical release and currently is in video stores.

Premise is similar to an earlier film (also unreleased theatrically) "Midnight Movie Massacre". Aliens from Outer Space invade a small town where a motley audience is watching sci-fi pictures. Pic is set at the Gem Theater (actually filmed at the Warner Grand in San Pedro, California), and its audience stereotypes lack the humor which highlighted "Massacre".

Four youngsters unite to fight the invaders, who in a nod to Don Siegel's "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" are using pods to take over the bodies of audience members after first numbing their brains with endless sci-fi features and trailers.

Unfortunately, this film, credited to George Maitland but with special effects expert Bob Skotak announced as director during production, also is numbing with its endless clips from very familiar pictures, mostly from the 1950s. A very young or novice sci-fi fan probably will enjoy the excerpts, but pic's target audience has seen them all many times over, complete. Unimaginative use of vintage movie theater material is also a letdown, consisting mainly of a "Let's All Go to the Lobby" animated intermission short film.

Insect-styled humanoid monsters created by Michael McCracken are okay but not scary. Casting of Mel Welles, erstwhile Mr. Mushnick from "The Little Shop of Horrors", as the theater manager is a cute touch; he also doubles as pic's production manager.

Producer Max J. Rosenberg co-produced the unrelated "Dr. Who" film with a similar moniker: "Daleks' Invasion Earth: 2150 A. D.".

To date, this is the single worst movie I've seen. It's not even bad-funny, it's just a tragedy that it's been made. It's only 1h. 15 min. anyway, but anyway it's a waste of your life! Have I made myself clear? Don't waste your money nor your time on this horrible, horrible semi-movie!!! It's not a request, it a direct order!