Attack of the 50 Ft. Woman

Of course it is! This is the type of B-movie that you'll enjoy. I didn't expect to see HANNAH in this role. But it was fun in a corny kind of way. Although it is still the classic story just like the original, it is "made for tv." But thats okay because Hannah leads that "glamor blonde bombshell life" that her beauty stops the film from falling apart. (5)

I haven't seen the original; I can imagine that it isn't as feminist as, or at least less overtly so than, this. Guest gets the tone, and this largely delivers what it promises. I know he can direct something hilarious, since I've seen Best in Show; this doesn't have the benefits of a cast full of proved comedic talent, and the writing is inferior, though not without chuckle-inducing moments. There are a couple of lines that are downright quotable. You probably know the plot already; Daniel Baldwin, a bastard merely by virtue of the fact that he's cheating on Darryl Hannah(even if the squeeze he found is also a sight for sore eyes), and several others (all male) talk down to her, and once she begins to grow in size, she attempts to exact vengeance upon them. The FX are cheesy, dated and obvious, and I would wager this was an intentional decision. This is both a spoof and an homage. There is brief suspense. The characters and acting aren't half bad. There is some sexuality(and eye-candy) and brief nudity in this. The DVD comes with a theatrical trailer. I recommend this to fans of the concept. 5/10

I was really excited to hear that there was going to be a remake of my favorite movie, but bitterly disappointed when I realized that it would be starring Daryl Hannah in the title role. She's not a very sexy actress nor is she very good-looking by my standards. I've always thought she was a bit on the skinny side. This role needs someone with a certain amount of sex appeal like Markie Post, Emma Samms, Victoria Principal or maybe even the actress playing Honey Parker, Cristi Conaway. I think this movie was just made to show off a new special effect technique, but even then, she still just looks like a normal woman on one of those table top train sets like I used to own. They could have used more of the extreme camera shots like used in Eddie Murphy's godzilla scene in "The Nutty Professor." Much of the movie's script has been updated though and two of the all male roles are now played by actresses [the deputy and one doctor].Some of the lines from the first movie are repeated verbatim, but the attack is still less than a true attack as seen on the original's movie poster. The violence is played down instead of up. The ending, though, is a bigger let down and a far cry from the historical last scene from the original. That strange grinding noise you hear through the movie is actually Allison Hayes rolling over in her grave.

A friend of mine once said that "a happy wife may have the best husband, but more often makes the best of the husband she has". Nancy Archer, the main character in this film, is another wife struggling to make the best of a bad job. She's just not a happy one. Her husband, Harry, is frequently unfaithful to her, but she tries hard to convince herself that she still loves him and that, in spite of appearances, he really still loves her. Nancy's problems don't end with Harry. She is an heiress who has inherited considerable wealth from her mother, but her father, Hamilton Cobb, a ruthless and ambitious property speculator, bullies her into allowing him to use the money to fund his business ventures. Nancy's one source of comfort is her psychiatrist, Dr. Cushing, whom she sees frequently.

And then, following an encounter with a UFO one night, Nancy finds herself growing to gigantic size, not stopping until she is 50 feet tall. She realises that her new height, and corresponding strength, have given her the opportunity to get even with her father and Harry.

When I recently reviewed "Roxanne", also starring Daryl Hannah, I pointed out that, although she was regarded as one of Hollywood's rising stars of the eighties, her career seemed to go into something of a decline and few of her films from this century, apart from the two "Kill Bill" episodes, have aroused much attention. Part of the reason may have been Hollywood has had something of a surplus of lookalike leggy blondes in the last two or three decades (Kim Basinger, Uma Thurman, Cameron Diaz, Gwyneth Paltrow, etc.), but another part of the reason may have been too many films like this one.

Actually, Daryl's performance here is not a particularly bad one, and she makes Nancy into a rather sweet and lovable heroine. My problem was that I just couldn't see why the film was made in the first place. The original 1958 version of "Attack of the 50 Foot Woman" is frequently described as a "cult movie". Now this expression sometimes means "unjustly neglected masterpiece", or at least "a film regarded by its cultists, if by nobody else, as an unjustly neglected masterpiece", but in the context of low-budget fifties sci-fi it generally means "complete rubbish which some people enjoy watching for the pleasure of sniggering at how bad it is". Indeed, "Attack of the 50 Foot Woman" is sometimes listed among the "worst films ever made", although in my opinion it cannot really compete with the true classics of that particular genre such as "Plan 9 from Outer Space". It's bad, certainly, but not quite that bad.

So why on earth would anyone want to remake it? Possibly because of its very reputation for badness. After all, devotees of cult movies of this variety frequently claim to watch them in a spirit of postmodern ironic detachment, and so if accused of making a bad movie the film-makers will always have a retort handy. "But it's not a bad movie! It's an ironic movie! You just don't get postmodernism, do you?"

Unfortunately, to paraphrase Edith Cavell, irony is not enough. The 1993 film does not really add anything to its less-than-illustrious predecessor. Certainly, the art of special effects had advanced during the intervening three and a half decades, so this aspect of the film is certainly better than in the original, but that's only "better" in the sense that "mediocre" is better than "embarrassingly bad". The remake's one indisputably new feature is that it adds a heavy-handed feminist message along the lines of "men are all bastards". It is notable that at the end Nancy takes revenge in full on her husband and father while Harry's mistress Honey is forgiven. (Yeah, she might have played her part in breaking up Nancy's marriage, but as a woman she is automatically counted as part of the "sisterhood").

Part of the incongruity of the original was the way in which it combined a domestic melodrama about a cheating husband with a science-fiction theme and did so in a completely straight-laced, humourless way. People may have laughed at the original; they didn't laugh with it. One way of remaking it, therefore, would have been to do so as a comedy which attempted to get laughs out of this incongruity, but the remake never achieves this. It may have been made in an ironic, tongue-in-cheek spirit, but "tongue-in-cheek" does not always equate to "funny". It's not an ironic movie. It's just a bad movie. I just don't get postmodernism, do I? 4/10

ATTACK OF THE 50 FT. WOMAN (1993-MADE FOR CABLE TV) ** 1/2 Daryl Hannah, Daniel Baldwin, Cristi Conaway, William Windom, Frances Fisher, Paul Benedict. Special effects laden remake of the campy sci-fi classic about a troubled woman whose close encounter with a UFO transforms her into a giantess. Easily head and shoulders above its laughable predecessor, Hannah makes the most of her towering performance in a film that tries to mix feminism with kitsch. She gives Allison Hayes a run for her money in her behemoth bikini. Directed by comedian/"Spinal Tap" star Christopher Guest (too bad he didn't think of this as a vehicle for his wife Jamie Lee Curtis. Yowsa!!)