Blood, Bullets, Buffoons

When 'Blood, Bullets, Buffoons' opened on a topless lady rolling around as a guy went on a crazy rant about GI Joes lacking balls it was all the confirmation I needed to know this was gonna be bad. Not that its title or director Zachary Snygg didn't hint at this fact already. However it was a solid burst of unintentional laughs and I hoped there'd be many more. Unfortunately this was it.

Jack Winston (director / writer Zachary Snygg) is roped into a drug deal with a douchebag friend and left to take the fall when a cop gets killed. He ends up doing time, but breaks out then dedicates himself to taking revenge on all the faces who've wronged him.

This is the kind of offbeat project made by friends (or desperate actors) who think what they're doing is funny stuff. Lots of bad humor ... ultra cringe levels. Plenty of annoying characters. Plenty of amateur acting in a no budget bore of a story complete with cheese dialog where if they swear enough it's supposed to sound cool and not be lame like it is.

'Blood, Bullets, Buffoons' sole saving grace is some female nudity here. Courtesy of the opening and two quick trips to strip clubs. The latter of which supplies a spicy piece due to fine closeups, but its not enough to warrant watching this. Former Penthouse Pet Amy Lynn Baxter gets top billing but really only has a bit role and never gets naked.

This no-budget stinker was shot almost entirely in extreme close-up with a shaky hand-held camera with a fish eye lens on it. Most shots are either under- or overexposed. That makes it almost painful to watch. The male characters are completely unbelievable, so you're left with some ugly guys chasing each other around in Goodwill store clothes and making faces.

Amy Lynn appears in flashbacks as the protagonist's girlfriend, but all they do is argue. She is a beautiful woman and even this clunker can't completely hide that, but it tries pretty hard. She doesn't get much screen time, but she manages to portray the only *character* in the picture. I hope she gets a part in a real movie someday.

Do not waste your time on this picture. If you want to see Amy Lynn, rent the first Penthouse Pet of the Year Playoffs. If you want to see Amy Lynn do comedy, rent Golf Balls. If you want to see wisecracking, violent hoods, rent the The Seven Ups or Pulp Fiction. Those four pictures have some entertainment value. Blood, Bullets, Buffoons has none.

This movie was somewhat of a surprise. Not expecting much after picking it up, I found it had some genuinely funny moments, and some members of the cast actually made me laugh. Definitely lower budget, but worth seeing if you get a chance.

Not on IMDb but I guess made around this time,

This flick here is one that people do search so therefore I will review another Tina Krause flick that not that many people has seen. Chloroformed And Cloned Co-Ed. It is out on shock-o-rama VHS and is OOP and very obscure. It's just a piece of trash with really bad acting but what makes it collectible is the fact that Tina Krause is in it, known for her nudity and that is what she does here. From the first minute until the last minute she is walking around with her juggs to show. Only a few times she goes full frontal. The tape I received didn't had any year on it it was made and there's nothing to find on the Web.

The story goes that Suzy Johnson (Tina Krause) and her boyfriend are adding some new kicks towards there sexlife. But Suzy ends up dead after an experiment with chloroform and electrocution. A deranged medical student clones Suzy 16 times. But they all escape and enters a house with a German butcher who only likes to violate them. The story looks promising but it all looks like a spoof. Bad bad acting and only the juggs of Tina are acting better than the thespians themselves. It's ultra low budget, just look at the electrocution scene, the light goes out and back on and it repeats but you can easily hear that someone is playing with the switch.

Total crap but collectible due a few reasons, first, Tina Krause, but also in the acting is John Bacchus who went further to direct a lot of erotic spoofs and flicks. Maybe the best known Play-mate Of The Apes (2002). Alan Spence just turned up one more time as cinematographer in The Vampire's Seduction (1998). Joe Ned aalso went further as writer and producer in the erotic business. G.W Lawrence was also involved but can't say if it was him as seen in Play Dead (1998)?

If you want to see early shock-o-rama's just before Misty Mundae became involved, also seen a lot together with Tina Krause then it's a hunt worthy. 2 out of 10

Gore 0/5 Nudity 3/5 Effects 0/5 Story 1/5 Comedy 0/5

BLOOD, BULLETS AND BUFFOONS is a perfect example of independent filmmaking, when the talent both in front and behind the camera care about the project. What it lacks in technical polish, it more than makes up for in witty-dialogue and hilarious sight gags. If you want to see a film with magical production values, go rent something cranked out of Hollywood. If you want to see a movie that people believed in, a movie that doesn't take itself seriously, and is only about providing entertainment, by all means pick up "BLOOD, BULLETS AND BUFFOONS". For fans of low-budget, independent movies.