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Film! What a mystery. Nobody can doubt that Gus Van Sant is a truly gifted filmmaker - I'm writing this after "Milk" - so how can it be that remaking a classic like "Psycho" shot by ,virtually, shot, Van Sant fails so miserably. Not an ounce of what made the original what it is, makes it to the remake. Every wrong choice found a home here. Anne Heche? Who thought of it? She is so bad with that unbearable little voice, one kind of wants her to die. Julianne Moore makes her Vera Miles part a butch, unattractive character. Viggo Mortensen, an actor I love, is kind of embarrassing as is William H Macy in the Martin Balsam part. The wardrobe is unforgivable and Chris Doyle, one of the best living cinematographers, creates a flat, painful, jarringly colorful frame but the worst of all is Vince Vaughn. Absolutely unforgivable. What a terrible, terrible performance. The exact opposite of Anthony Perkins where everything was intensely personal. Here it feels like a Saturday Night Live sketch, one of the less fortunate ones. I haven't been able to forgive Vince Vaughn. That silly, shallow giggle he gives to Norman Bates, will return to haunt him.

Watchable in a film school project kind of way, but its obsession with trying to do everything exactly like Hitchcock's version leaves it cold and emotionless. Who'd have ever thought seeing Marion Crane slashed to death in a shower would inspire nothing more than a simple shrug? As a stand alone movie, it doesn't work very well.

Marion Crane steals $400,000 and is escaping to meet her boyfriend. When she gets tired during a stormy night she stops at the Bates motel. When she goes missing her sister, boyfriend and a private detective start to look for her. However the Bates motel run by Norman and his mother is a place of many secrets.

Remakes are regular things nowadays, but carbon copies are rare. This is a lift in terms of dialogue, shots almost everything at times. The big question is why? As a film in its own right it's not terrible but comparing it to the original it literally pales in comparison (despite the colour!). Why did we need this – sure on some level it may reach those who haven't seen the original and don't want to watch an 'old' film. But really – why should we indulge the multiplexers who refuse to watch anything made before 1991?

It's not bad – it's poor a poor relation of the original. In the UK we often get 50th anniversary etc re-releases of old films nationwide (admittedly not in all cinemas), in fact Psycho was out a few years ago. So the idea that a cheap copy is good because it'll help open it up to new audiences.

The cast are all OK – until you watch the original. Then Vaughn stands out as doing a poor imitation, Heche is nowhere near Leigh and Julianne Moore has too much 'strong woman' baggage from other roles to do well. Admittedly the all-star cast gives weight to the roles that were relatively minor – Macy, Mortensen, Forster, James LeGros, Philip Baker Hall etc – although really the question is why they all queued up to be in this toss!

Overall it's so-so as a film. However when you compare it to the original it's really a poor show and, because it's a carbon copy, you can't help but compare it line for line, scene for scene, actor for actor.

"Psycho" isn't the worst movie I've ever seen, but it . . . aw, it's terrible. An utterly soulless exercise in mimicry with an awful cast. what I really missed was Anthony Perkins; the guy had a clean- cut look that subverted his madness. But Vince Vaughn just screams serial killer. That's why none of this works. The stylistic choices are all ham-fisted, and there's no suspense because we're too busy comparing it to the original. And because it's "shot-for-shot", that's a hundred times worse than your average remake - most of which , by the way, usually bring something new to the table. Not here.

Avoid at all costs. This is not worth it.

2/10

One question, if I may . . . While we're on the subject of shot duplication, why the hell would you throw in an image of Heche hanging over the side of the tub? It deviates from the original, doesn't do your actress any favors (as Kevin Smith and Ralph Garman will certainly attest), and it's just asking for future Internet meme infamy.

19 years after the original shock of seeing one of the great Hitchcock classics massacred by one of the greatest living directors, I sat to watch it again. Surprise, surprise. Gus Van Sant's daring attempt could have been another masterpiece if the casting of Norman Bates, in particular, had been more visionary and less opportunistic. Imagine what a break for an actor to re-invent that iconic character. Imagine what Heath Ledger, Billy Crudup, Ryan Gosling or Guy Pearce could have done with it. I'm sure that if you had been riveted rather than embarrassed by that characterization, if Vince Vaughn was more of a serious actor who understood the responsibility of his endeavor Van Sant's Psycho would have been a triumph.