The Collectors

And I thought I had seen the worse movie of all until I saw this flick. There's nothing redeeming about this movie.

From the very first quarter of this movie, I was thinking if this is a poor homage to Tarantino's character Vincent Vega and Jules Winnfield or simply a pathetic attempt to follow the footstep of Tarantino.

The dialogue obviously is trying very hard to capture the cleverness of the dialogue in Pulp Fiction. It even tried to copy the scene on Pulp Fiction just before they enter the apartment. Unfortunately, the dialogue was soo bad and the acting did not help any.

I give it 1 out of 5 stars.

I rented this on the "recommendation" of several other reviewers.. little did I know they were all 13 year olds. That's literally the only group of people who could think that this movie was worth 90 minutes of their life. The whole movie has the feel of a porn movie but with no porn, It's got the bad acting, the bad script, the crappy music, the scenes that make no sense and don't develop the story, everything! It's even got as one reviewer so perfectly put it, "the tittie action at the beginning". For those people who think these 2 goobers had "screen chemistry", what kind of life do you lead? Do you talk to your friends delivering one line at a time with pauses between each line? Are you all on drugs? Also, for those who wonder where the "southern accent" went, you've obviously never been to New Orleans. The only thing approaching an accent there is closer to Brooklyn than the south. They sure as heck don't pronounce it New Or-leens though.. the director has obviously never been there either. I wish I had never been near this movie.

The Collectors is an unassuming but interesting movie that has a little bit of everything-cops, killers, shootouts, buddies, comedy, and love (both requited and –un). The plot revolves around two semi-unsavory characters, Ray and A.K., who collect unpaid mob debts, and when they can't, heads may roll. But somehow we never really feel much menace from these guys, who are played for sympathy by Casper Van Dien and Rick Fox.

Van Dien's A.K. in particular, who at times projects an almost childlike likableness, would really like to get out of this risky business and be law-abiding, if he could afford to, but he won't leave his partner, who still feels loyalty to the boss who rescued him from the streets. And A.K. would really like to see his buddy settle down and marry his girlfriend Lyla, a beautiful hooker who is also caught in a no-win, no-way-out profession. Ray is a master of rationalization who neatly compartmentalizes his life, in fact occasionally seeing his job as being a way to improve the world by ridding it of scum. A.K. is just getting tired of it all, but he does make a moral distinction between killing a pimp who murdered a very young prostitute and killing debtors for late payment. Perhaps one last job, and taking one big chance involving deception and theft, will enable them to run, hide, and start over.

Will Ray and Lyla escape their sordid lives and find true love? Will A.K. ever get through to the beautiful cop (Catherine Oxenberg) who's been pursuing him so long, but who, he's convinced, is really attracted to him or she would have killed him by now? Is it love, bad luck or bad aim? We suspect but don't find out until the end of the movie, where we get a couple of surprises.

Van Dien fans will especially love the rooftop scene where A.K., watching Ray and Lyla share a tender moment, fantasizes about doing the same with Lt. Bailey. With hindsight, we know we're watching Van Dien and Oxenberg falling in love right before our eyes.

By some accounts, The Collectors contains ad libbed material that made the cut. Perhaps that's why the main characters seem so natural and likable-it's like watching Butch and Sundance do NYC, but we hope they'll meet a kinder fate. Rent it and see.

Van Dien and Fox (of the L.A. Lakers and Vanessa Williams' other half) come off as mismatched hit-men in this off-beat drama. Oxenberg out of her element as an English-born detective sent from Louisiana to put an end to their reign of "terror" (?). This movie had me wondering halfway through it...WHERE THE HECK WERE THEIR SOUTHERN ACCENTS??? Maybe lost with their talents in the script.

Some unintentionally humorous dialogue and a pretty neat plot twist barely save this Canadian-American crime thriller from obscurity and an early grave. Staged in the Big Apple, the titular characters - contract killers Casper Van Dien and Rick Fox - stalk assorted "prey" for their Louisiana boss, all the while trying to elude the NYPD (led by Daniel Pilon) and a renegade cop (Catherine Oxenberg) from the Big Easy. Are Oxenberg and Van Dien romantically linked? Will Van Dien ever retire from his bloody business? Does anyone really care?

Director Sidney Furie tries to generate sympathy for his stone-faced players, but Van Dien ("Starship Troopers") and Oxenberg ("Lair of the White Worm") were never known for their sensitive performances. Some dreadfully ham-fisted screenwriting doesn't help either. If you want some real action leavened with humor, try "Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead," "Pulp Fiction" or even "The Big Hit."