L.A.P.D.: To Protect and to Serve

This has got to be the worst film I have ever seen. I would have thought with the likes of Dennis Hopper, Michael Madsen and Charles Derning that it would have had some hope. Nope, not here. This movie is so bad I don't know where to start. Six people in a closet shooting at each other and no one gets hit. Not even a hint at police procedures. Moronic writing at it's best. I don't think any of the police cars even had matching light bars. Using lights and sirens on a code 2 call. I am going to have to look to see who was technical adviser, as who ever it was they know nothing about the LAPD, or even Mayberry PD much less Barney. Just a complete waste of 98 minutes of my life I will never get back.

It never fails to amaze me that even with a good cast, big enough budget, ok theme, producers and directors can churn out second rate rubbish like this. even the actors at the end of the movie must be thinking "six guys ten feet apart firing hundreds of shots at each other and it takes a full minute before one hits it's mark"

Please tell me what happened to the great actors Dennis Hopper and Michael Madsen? Were they short of money or what? What possessed them to be in such a crap movie? I have always been a fan of these actors, but they lowered their standards to "Z" grade acting in this piece of rubbish movie. The scenes were corny and had the hallmarks of a cheap porn movie, without the actual porn! The acting was woody and not convincing at all. They should not have associated themselves with the Los Angeles Police Department, as the movie is an insult to any law enforcement agency.It took me ages to appreciate these actors after that. Michael Madsen did a good job in Kill Bill 1 & 2, so thankfully he redeemed himself.

I'm embarrassed to say I even hesitated to change the channel when this...hell I don't know what to call it, it doesn't deserve to be called a movie. I hate to knock on any movie because I know how hard it must be to get a movie made, but the idea that anything people must have worked so hard on could turn out to be this bad is both depressing and frightening. I've never actually hated a movie, but this one comes awful close, the only reason I rated it a one is because I could not rate it any lower.

To Protect and Serve: Protect us the viewer and serve the acting to the dogs. Why oh Why did I rent this? Because of Dennis Hopper. After all, he has made some good films, even very good ones. I saw him on the cover, and instead of checking IMDB first, I took a chance. This trash is the Plan Nine from Outer Space version of modern law enforcement. If I were a LAPD employee, a LA criminal, a citizen of LA, even an alien from Mars, I would demand that all money used in this production be used to burn all copies of this wherever they may be. Considering the absolute total ineptness of the acting, directing, and writing efforts here, there may be only enough loose coin to burn just one copy. Dennis Hopper was in this for 3 maybe 4 minutes. And you could plainly see he was over acting. Dennis, do not add this to your filmography. This is a very, very bad film.