Are We There Yet?

The year 2005 has already started out with some bad turkeys to begin the flock of one of the worst family films of the year. And the movie which is basically a children's vehicle for rapper/actor/producer Ice Cube who is starring in "Are We There Yet?" is not worth the ride nor the price of admission. Too bad for Ice Cube though. He is a winning presence with an appealing deadpan comic shtick in the "Friday",and "Barbershop" movies as well as here,but he is hampered by the subpar work of the writers who are totally responsible for this mayhem of family dysfunctional values. Here he is not only muggin the camera at its worst,it is also the most pathetic display of sympathy by a actor in recent months. Here is what the producers did here. First they bring on two of the stars from the first original "Friday" movie(Ice Cube and a suddenly aged Nia Long),and put them in a film that is supposed to be family oriented material,since the film uses every cliché from several films to bring this to the point of ridiculous mayhem. From there,they bring on two of the most misbehaving,obnoxious kids ever to sully the screen,exhibiting misbehavior to such an extreme that it goes beyond the point of normality which to say goes way beneath rude and disrespectful. Still it is a shame that Ice Cube chose this clunker of a vehicle for his first-ever family film. It could have been a whole lot better if Cube brought along his protégé from the first "Friday" film as one of the kids uncles,you know like Chris Tucker? It could have made this film a lot more entertaining.

The more I study film ideas, the more I'm amazed at how some ideas continue to live.

Take the notion of humorous cruelty. Were the Stooges the first to build a franchise around this? In modern times, it is the "Home Alone" franchise where we are given an excuse for accepting the cruelties because the hurter is a clever but innocent child and the hurtees are stereotypical bad guys.

Here the idea tries a new incarnation. Lest there be any mistake about the source, the movie actually starts in the "old" Home Alone mode with our (anonymous) victim encountering tripwires that trigger child-made traps of household goods and toys.

Then it shifts into the new mode. In this edition, some of the tricks are intended and some are not. The victim is a new kind of shiftless: a black man actually trying to be "ghetto." The story is supposed to smoothly morph in a sort of "What About Bob" way from pain to rewarding relationship. The turning point is also stereotypical: the treasured black dad has abandoned his family and the beleaguered suitor is revealed to be someone to whom that also happened.

I think humor about race, especially racial stereotypes, is fair game. How better to puncture racism? But its got to be funny doesn't it?

This picture turns out to be what it starts to be about: a way of torturing a black dude who manages a slick appearance of the ghetto (we're talking about the guy who calls himself Ice Cube here, not his character) and tries to put himself where he doesn't belong. Poignant maybe, but neither funny nor endearing.

Ted's Evaluation -- 1 of 3: You can find something better to do with this part of your life.

Nick (Ice Cube) is a born "playah," who takes on a arduous task to convince divorced Suzanne (Nia Long) to go out with him. Since she's stuck working in Vancouver and misses her kids, he agrees to drive them up from Portland, but if he thinks her kids are going to let him mack on their mom without a fight, he has another thing coming.

The premise held some potential to be good but the film turned out to be average at best. The jokes are just too mean spirited to be funny and most of the funny jokes were used in the trailer. The jokes are mean spirited because the kids in the film are pretty vicious. They attack Nick because they don't want any guy getting close to their mom. They want their parents back together. I understand that the kids will hate Nick but some of the stuff they do to him is so over the top and unnecessary. I felt sorry for Ice Cube because he was pretty much killed from all the stuff that happened to him.

The acting is okay, nothing special. Ice Cube gives a good performance and he's a pretty good sport for letting all that stuff happen to him. Nia Long was just "meh", nothing special at all. She doesn't get a lot of screen time though. Aleisha Allen and Philip Bolden both give good performances as really annoying kids. The former was the worst of the two and I hope she doesn't pursue a singing career. Jay Mohr is in the movie for about ten minutes despite being mentioned in the previews.

Despite all this violence happening to Nick, the film is actually kind of dull. However, since the movie is only 90 minutes long, it isn't too much of a punishment to sit through. Brian Levant directs and he does an okay job. Usually, his family films bore and annoy me but this one is better than most of his movies. Another problem with the movie is that it's not very original. The opening scene is stolen from Home Alone and the entire film is full of clichés. As a family film, the kids should enjoy it while adults will most likely be asleep or annoyed. There were a few laughs just not enough for the film to expand its audience. Is Are we there yet? the worst movie of the year? No, out of all the films I have seen that {dis} honor would go to The Wedding Date. In the end, this is a nice rental for the kids to watch but everyone else should skip it. Rating 5/10

Long distance driving, constant headaches, groaning and claustrophobia. Then, that tedious question arises...Are we there yet? But in the new flick, Are we there yet?, that question takes a new meaning.

Through a series of worst-case scenarios from deer attacks to a train race on horseback, Nick Persons (Ice Cube, Barbershop) experiences it all.

Beginning a timid romance between Persons and Suzanne Kingston (Nia Long, Boiler Room), possible babysitters for her children while she's away becomes few and far between, leaving Persons, a child-hater as the only viable option. He must transport Kingston's two "angelic" children 350 miles from Oregon to Vancouver. They attempt to make it in 24 hours by plane, train and automobile.

Directed by Brian Levant, director of Snow Dogs (Cuba Gooding, Jr.) and Jingle All The Way (Arnold Schwarzenegger), he defines his love for making family-fun movies.

For what it was worth, the acting was decent. Ice Cube played a better role than I expected. Aleisha Allen (School of Rock) and Philip Bolden (Johnson Family Vacation) were well-cast. And the cherry on top of the acting was Jay Mohr (Pay It Forward, Jerry Maguire). The way the actors worked together accented the movie.

Cinematography in this movie was exactly what I expected. There were a few intriguing camera angles, better than I've seen from directors of Levant's credibility.

The rating was well chosen as PG. There was minor language and rude humor.

Noticing half of the theater filled with children ranging from five to twelve, and tons of parents, I'd definitely suggest staying away from this movie on a date. There were periodic jokes and entertaining scenes, but if you don't like "kiddy" movies, I would not encourage this.

Just because there is nothing being blown up to massive proportions; no violence with loads and loads of blood; no swearing !!!

Lighten up folks, its just a movie that you can actually take kids to see. A movie that will actually have the kids laughing.

if this is the worse that you can do in a movie, welll you have not done that bad..

This movie has a message that is good!! This movie is silly and kids will love it, because it is geared to them.

So all of you stuffy, nose up your arses who probably take life wayyyyy toooo seriously, RELAX and enjoy!! You don't have to love it, but it's not a bad way to spend some time.

After you can go back to watching your gory, blow em up movies!!!!

In the meantime !!!!!!!! Stop your whining and don't take this movie so seriously..