Starting Over

I thought Starting Over was about the most innovative program on television so I was very sad to see the original concept disintegrate into just another pretentious reality show.

I may have given it more of a chance this season if they would have chosen different Life Coaches who really had the women's best interest at heart instead of blatantly promoting their own book-writing and speaking careers.

I'm really surprised this show is still even on the air considering how denigrating it is to women, in general. Perhaps it got back on course but somehow I doubt it.

I have to admit that I am addicted to this show. Having said that, I would like to send my opinion out there. It seems to me that the life coaches are, as others have written, "know it all's". They are not very specific at times, leaving the anxious ladies (probably too intimidated to ask if they can get help from the other women, quit, etc...) receiving negative feedback from the coaches. I think there is a bit of evil in Rhonda's eyes now and then.......she would scare me to death if I got on her bad side. Just once, I would like to hear an "I apologize, I was mistaken" from the coaches! I realize we all have had problems in our past, as did Rhonda and Iylana, however, they sometimes appear to have forgotten their past. When someone is "down and out" (as with the women who come and go through the house), they certainly don't need to be screamed at and humiliated. However, the change for the positive is remarkable in most of the women when they leave the starting over house!!!

I started out watching starting over during it's first season in 2003. For some reason there are certain episodes that are not available and I have no idea why. So I cannot re-watch some of the episodes I found most interesting.

I truly prefer the earlier seasons when Rana Walker was a Life Coach and the house was in Chicago. The move to California was just fine. However, I do not understand why Rana was replaced. She was genuinely kind, compassionate, nurturing, caring, inspiring and EVERYTHING those ladies needed in a life coach. Not ONCE did she ever resort to BULLYING, INSULTING, MOCKING, DEGRADING or EXPLOITING any of the women in the house.

I can only find episodes from season three online. Season three is very hard to watch. There's also an episode from Audrey and Brenda Starr's season that I wanted to see but it never aired. It's also not available online. Why that is only Bunim-Murray Productions knows.

The counseling sessions in the California house were truly teeth grinding to watch and hard to endure. My heart truly went out to Tess. I don't think she was a bad person at all. I think she was just super defensive because she had a lot of pint up hurt and frustration from being taken advantage of and having people spit on her kindness and throw it back in her face. I used to be that way myself as I too know the pain of my kindness being taken as "weakness" by those of lesser character.

It was also difficult to watch some of the other women in the house misunderstand her and put her on trial for PRACTICALLY everything she said and did. I honestly lost all respect for Meg when she questioned why Tess was wearing her headphones while cleaning the kitchen. Maybe she wanted to listen to music to UPLIFT herself as she felt like a black sheep who constantly needed to tiptoe around the other women jumping on her case every other day about the pettiest of issues and the two insensitive Life Coaches joining in with them.

God bless her. Cause regardless of what my Husband thought I would have left that house in the middle of the night after the first gang up session. Had Rana been there, I think things would have gone a lot more smoothly for Tess and she would have felt as if she had at least ONE good ally on her side. Poor girl.

I know she's glad it's all over and I hope she's doing great. There are some truly great Counselors and Life Coaches in the world(Rana Walker especially). However, some of them can be very know-it-all and uppity at times as the Starting Over experience proved. They don't perceive themselves as having a God-complex though many of them do.

Of course, the show is not perfect....it's a "reality" show about women and the problems that their needs lead them into. The life coaches are indeed not "know it all's", but have faced many of the same issues that "everyday" women face and have a better perspective, a clearer path to resolution. The knowledge and understanding of the life coaches naturally entice us to look to them when we need the focus that they have already demonstrated in real life. Hence, the reason that they are referred to as "life coaches."

Women and men are certainly equal in all capacities, but the path that we follow and the "tools" that we use to get there are not the same and cannot be treated as such. It is a fundamental part of the entire "Starting Over" process to help "women" to recognize the tools at their disposal, as well as to teach them those that they are missing by using the similarities in other women to build from.

This show is not about entertainment, but rather restoration and regeneration. It is merely a vehicle to reach those who want and need the message.

I just wanted to say that the show rapidly went downhill after the move to California AND RANA was not expendable. She was much more real than Iyanla. I knew that show was in trouble from the opening screen shots where they show Iyanla with a tear ... supposedly real ... running down her cheek. The artificiality of it used to drive me insane! I am half-black, so race is not my issue here. I could not believe how warm and loving the life coaches could be on a day-to-day basis, and then just rip the poor women to shreds during the Board of Review. This show slowly but steadily began to concentrate more on what would make great television and keep the ratings up. I smelled a rat when the cause of the amnesia victim's loss of memory was never explained - hinted at - but never explained. This show should have stuck to the original formula; i.e. if you want to be on television, live for free for a minimum of six weeks, then there can be no holds barred, respecting, of course, the identify of close friends and relatives. And I'm sorry - I tried to like Dr. Stan but I could never really "get" him, or figure out what earthly purpose he actually served by being on the show. Alas, it's too late and my thoughts are all for naught because a sounding board for the viewers should have been made available from the get-go. Rest in peace, Rhonda; rest in peace. And Rana, you were gone but never forgotten.