Haunted Boat

Haunted Boat, what a movie name! Sounds like a working title they forgot to update doesn't it?

It tells the story of six 20 somethings who go out on a boat to party and weird things happen and.....yeah....so.....wow.

I was immediatly struck by its low rating, at time of writing it's sat at 2.1 and that's incredibly low. It takes a special breed of movie to get a rating like that and I was convinced this wouldn't be one of them. It is, it really really is.

For me to rate a movie 1/10 means it has no redeeming features at all, it means it fails on literally every single front and that's an accomplishment in itself and very rare.

The story is non-sensical, the sfx are awful, the cast/characters are forgettable, the construction is dire and the soundtrack! Is so poorly done I can't even put into words. They play stock music that doesn't even remotely go with the scene and it's so inappropriate I actually laughed out loud.

Haunted Boat is one of the worst films I've seen in years, it's a masterclass on how not to make a movie and something that makes the Sharknado films look Oscar worthy by comparison.

The Good:

Hahahahahahaha NO!

The Bad:

Terrible cutaway scenes

Laughable sfx

Really poor title

Awful cover art

Random soundtrack that just doesn't fit the scenes

Stock screams

Dreadful "Plot"

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

You can identify Amish folk by their faces

The "I fear no evil" passage of the bible has never worked in the history of movies

I saw this film yesterday. I must admit, it weren't my cup of tea. Although it's supposed to be a horror movie of its kind. But as I was watching this, I was thinking.. 'This movie isn't making any sense at all..' Where on earth did this guy in the dark coat came from? Where were the two guys were going when they left the girls behind? Where on earth did a shark came out from?

All these elements in this film somehow didn't add up. I felt as if these filmmakers wasted so much time and money on a film that was so bound to be so crap.

I've seen many good horror movies in my time, but this is one of the most worst horror flicks I've seen. At the end of the movie, I said to myself that I wouldn't watch it again.. So much pappy show in this film, I've decided to give it the thumbs down! Count me out on this one! 0 out of 10!

do not ever watch this film...it is the biggest pile of sh*te i have ever come across in my whole life. and thats saying something. the acting, storyline and filming were absolutely dire this is THE WORST FILM IN THE WORLD!!! seriously doesn't it even give you a hit seeing as it cost my 99p from sainsburys and it was only made in 2005? hahaha this film is like a cheap college movie you can even see the camera in the corner of the screen....although if u really wanna watch it you gotta watch the "scary shark scene"...possibly the best piece of acting i have seen in my life...ha ha. i mean seriously this is the biggest waste of 2 1/2 hours EVER!!

While I agree that the film is hurt badly by the technical merits, particularly in the first third, it does move towards a very surrealistic feeling that reminded me a lot of Carnival of Souls. That film was similarly pretty low rent, but managed to create a very unearthly atmosphere. Haunted Boat seems to be at least trying for the same thing, although with less internal logic. So I give it a few points for ambition.

Some of the reviews on this movie make it seem like a super intellectual movie of parallel worlds and peoples deepest fears... I think its just a frustrating, boring,and confusing mess of ideas that don't lead anywhere. The ending makes no sense and it takes a excruciatingly long time to get there.