Valentine's Day

Throw a bunch of famous actors in and you'll get a great movie right? Wrong.

Director: I want big names in my movie. Assistant: Which ones? Director: Yes.

I was the classic husband dragged to see this on Valentine's Day weekend as a goodwill gesture. It was every bit as bad as could be possibly imagined. Half of Hollywood's A List star as vacuous stereotypes, moronically obsessed with the holiday in question. This despite the fact they are all living millionaire lifestyles, with perfect tans and the whitest of teeth. It's Love Actually, without a sense of humour or any depth whatsoever. No- one and nothing is remotely realistic - every storyline has a trite and convenient resolution and none is convincing or interesting. There is a perfect and unlikely ratio of ethnicities and sexualities. The sex trade is entirely trivialised and sanitised. No-one stays upset about relationship breakdowns for more than one scene. People break into spontaneous dance sequences in which everyone knows the pre-rehearsed moves but the film doesn't have the conviction to show it for more than 3 seconds... Just utter pointless and patronising bilge...

On the Valentine's Day in Los Angeles, the lives of several dwellers are entwined and affected somehow by love. The florist and owner of the Siena Bouquet Reed Bennett (Ashton Kutcher) proposes his insecure girlfriend Morley Clarkson (Jessica Alba) that says yes to him. His best friend Julia Fitzpatrick (Jennifer Garner) is in love with Dr. Harrison Copeland (Patrick Dempsey), but she does not know that he is married and celebrating his fifteenth wedding anniversary with his wife Pamela Copeland (Katherine LaNasa). The bitter TV sports reporter Kelvin Moore (Jamie Foxx) is assigned by his boss to cover stories of people in love in LA. The phone sex entertainer Liz (Anne Hathaway) hides her profession from her boyfriend Jason (Topher Grace). The grandson of the couple Edgar (Hector Elizondo) and Estelle (Shirley MacLaine), Edison (Bryce Robinson), has a secret unrequited love at school while his grandparents are facing a crisis in their marriage. The executive Holden Wilson (Bradley Cooper) befriends Captain Kate Hazeltine (Julia Roberts) that is eleven months away from home in the fourteen-hour flight back to LA. The contract of the veteran quarterback Sean Jackson (Eric Dane) is not renewed by his team and he schedules an interview to the press with his neurotic publisher Kara Monahan (Jessica Biel) that hates Valentine's Day. The teenagers Alex (Carter Jenkins) and Grace (Emma Roberts) are planning to have sex for the first time. The cheerleader Felicia (Taylor Swift) is in deep love with her boyfriend, the athlete Willy (Taylor Lautner). In the end of the day, revelations will fortify or end loves.

"Valentine's Day" is a sweet movie of director Gary Marshall with a constellation of stars in the cast. The concise screenplay succeeds in developing characters and entwined stories along 125 minutes running time. There are some excellent lines, with jokes (Taylor Lautner telling that he feels uncomfortable taking his shirt off in public is hilarious) and surprises (the revelation of Holden and Kate loves are among the best). I was surprised with the bad reviews in IMDb. My vote is seven.

Title (Brazil): "Idas e Vindas do Amor" ("Comings and Goings of the Love")

You don't know what awful is until you've seen this film. I wasn't looking for a profound commentary on the human experience - I watched "Valentine's Day" expecting 100 minutes worth of harmless and fun escapism. To say that I was disappointed is a bit of an understatement.

To begin with, the film is WAY too long - or perhaps it just seems like an eternity. Minute after minute, it is sickeningly sappy and sweet, without any depth of character or plot to justify its duration. The acting is for the most part atrocious - or, at best, mediocre. Taylor Swift, in a nightmarish "comic relief" role, and the annoying little boy, in particular, stand out as paragons of annoying incompetence. However, the writing is so awful, even the greatest of thespians could not make this movie bearable. I honestly felt rather embarrassed for the actors, most of whom I'm sure are quite capable if given a half-decent script. Perhaps worst of all, "Valentine's Day" acts like it is an eye-opening and touching study of human relationships, while it's really drivel.

If there's anything I'd like the reader to learn from this review it's to avoid this film at all costs. It isn't good, it isn't even so-bad-it's-good - it's just plain dreadful.

I wasn't sure what to expect from this film, but I watched it anyway, because I like a lot of the people in the cast. My overall thoughts on Valentine's Day was that it wasn't terrible but it was very uneven and I do have to agree with anyone who says Love Actually did it better, it did.

Starting off with Valentine's Day, it does have a great cast. Jennifer Garner and Anne Hathaway especially are very charming, and I liked the little boy who had a crush on Garner. It was also really nice to see Hector Elizondo and Shirley McLaine again, same with Patrick Dempsey and I also thought Taylor Swift was delightfully ditzy in her debut. I didn't mind Julia Roberts either, however the only ones I didn't like so much were Jessica Alba, who doesn't have that much to do and Taylor Lautner who was rather bland, and it seemed ironic that his character didn't want to take his shirt off, when in New Moon(horrible film by the way) Lautner spends most of the time with it off. Asides from the cast, Valentine's Day was nicely filmed and had a lovely soundtrack. And I thought several of the stories worked, especially Garner's.

However, I wasn't completely sure about the phone sex idea and Eric Dane's story is painfully underdeveloped. The script also has its weak spots with nothing really sticking out in the mind, in fact there were only a few amusing moments as the film is more bittersweet than funny, particularly the one in the restaurant with the conversation about the pig's meal. The film also drags badly, while the direction isn't quite as focused as it would have liked.

Overall, it isn't terrible, but it is very uneven. Worth seeing once or twice, but it isn't a movie for me that is to watch every day of the week. 6/10 Bethany Cox