Diary of a Cannibal

I got this movie from the $1 section at my local video rental store. I'm sorry that I even spent that much on this movie. I actually turned the movie right off after about 20 minutes...and I've never done that with ANY other movie. It seriously looks like some man just took his home video camera and filmed two kids staring at each other in a van and then every once in a while threw in a clip of a shiny knife with blood. Oh my! I almost WANT people to watch this movie...just to seriously see how horrible it is. It's almost comical. But I wouldn't do it, that's about an hour and a half of your life you'll never get back.

The only interesting part of this movie was the true story which inspired it, however, even that is lost in a never ending parade of cuts, fades and pointless scenes. There are certain unspoken rules about the appropriate number of scenes, the repeated use of single scenes and timing that Ulli Lommel (Director) either doesn't understand or chooses (unfortunately) not to obey. The characters are whisper thin, and the story almost absent. Top this off with ultra low budget digital film quality, poor acting and a hollow cliché of a soundtrack. Unless you really just enjoy bad films, there is no reason whatsoever for me to recommend this to you. This movie, like Lollels other work, is a waste of time, money and space.

Diary of a Cannibal (2006)

1/2 (out of 4)

Ulli Lommel is back once again with yet another "based on true events" film. This time he tells the story of the German man who was sent to prison for killing another man and eating him. In this film, the story is changed around to a man and woman who meet on the internet and he wants her to eat him. The story of the German man was better told in the film Cannibal, which I viewed earlier in the year. That film was the sickest film I had ever seen and had me on the verge of throwing up but I can honestly say this film had me close to throwing up but for different reasons. Lommel shows once again that he's turned into the biggest hack master in the world delivering yet another horrible film. I'll give him some credit that he changed to story to a somewhat interesting one but he does nothing with it. Everything from the performances to the special effects are horrid so that doesn't leave much going for the film. It's really sad to see Lommel selling himself out with this incredibly horrid film but Lions Gate keeps buying them so I guess he'll keep making them.

(2006) Diary Of A Cannibal HORROR

Art direction, cinematography, produced, and directed by Ulli Lommel directing a straight to rental, shown on via cam-corder style showcasing events about how a normal teenage girl end up eating her boyfriend, full of pointless passages from the Bible etc... linking to cannibalism. Supposed to be based on an actual incident somewhere in Virginia, Tennessee similar to "The Brown Bunny" which consist of pointless scenes of affection with one another and it wasn't until more than an hour later that viewers finally realize that it was the boyfriends request for her to do this. What do we know from this understandably is absolutely nothing.

Oh Ulli, why do I still act like a cinematic masochist by continuing to watch your unwatchable 'based on a true story' (albiet EXTREMELY loosely) waste of celluloid. Perhaps I've answered my own question. I AM a masochist, either that or the last true blooded optimist. Perhaps this one will be better. Maybe i won't long for the sweet embrace of death to keep me from viewing until the movie's end. Alas no. No such luck. i had to suffer through this spectacularly awful movie. Atrociously acted, shot worse than a student film. Unentertaining even in it's insipidness. DO NOT watch. DO NOT even let the idea enter your head.