The Dead Matter

It's sad when the only good ratings a movie can get are from the filmmaker's family and friends. Well, here's the dead matter in a nutshell: The vampire (Andrew Divoff) wears a blonde lady's wig that looks like it's on backwards. The storyline is… oh wait, there is no story. The overweight zombies look worse than what you'd expect to see at a local haunted house run by high school kids. The music just drones on, but maybe it's better than nothing. The movie is described as a campy horror comedy, but there's nothing humorous at all about this film, except maybe the terrible acting. No boobs, very little blood and no interesting death scenes, nothing you haven't seen a million times already, and no hot chicks, just a few frumpy fat dudes. The actress that plays Gretchen is cute, but not in a "hot" way. And like I said, no boobs.

I can't even recommend this train wreck for a beer and B-movie night. It's just a huge waste of time.