Perfect Hideout

What can I say, the story isn't so bad actually. The problem is that it's just too short for a whole movie. So 75 percent is useless conversations to stretch the movie. The acting is also very very bad. No emotion at all. It's not as if I'm looking at a movie, but looking at a very bad theater performance from some amateurs who would like to make their own movies. The overall sound is also quite weak. Somebody dubbed the wrong sound effect to make it sound better, but it just gets more unrealistic. The picture quality doesn't look like it is shot on film. I'm even wondering if this movie is shot with a VHS recorder? Don't waste your time on this movie, I regret watching this one...

Here's the deal -- I was looking for a time-killer tonight, nothing too cultured, no red-wine sipping with friends, with a 6 hour post film analysis.

Just straight-up -- whack in the DVD player, keep the eyes open and pop it roughly out 2 hours later.

So I flicked through the new release section at high speed, "Billy Zane" caught my eye and that was enough to take it home and fire it up.

And ... time-killer it is for sure. This is a really average movie -- I'm sorry to say that I think Billy Zane has gone the way of Wesley Snipes (I watched his D-grade movie, The Art of War II last night). As for Perfect Hideout -- some say this was a spoof, others say it was an action movie, others a comedy or maybe even a horror.

Unfortunately, I think it's just plain awful. And actually, really quite annoying at times -- primarily annoying because it could have been done so much better.

You can find movies which are worse, so if you're down to the last few movies at the DVD store, then give this a whirl... But save it for your last option.

I looked this movie up on IMDb while I was watching it because I couldn't determine where it was taking place. As other reviewers have mentioned, no two characters have the same accent, so one would never know by watching. One thing is sure--none of them have a German accent, which is ironically where the action is set.

Where I think most of the other reviewers got it all wrong, was that I believe it was intended to be a comedy, albeit a dark one. Sure, the acting is often bad, but Billy Zane, as usual, is brilliant. Sure, the plot has holes, but I was typically amused enough that it just played into the humor of it all. The end of course moved directly into the realm of ridiculous; overall however, I found it to be an enjoyable experience.

It's supposed to be set in Germany...? Those "Germans" look and sound a lot like Americans! Billy Zane is a charming actor. Cristian Solimeno seemed like a decent actor. Melinda Y. Cohen is beautiful. I've seen plenty of low budget films. These actors aren't terrible. It's the script. The dialogue is stilted and childish. Also, that SWAT team...not believable. I saw the comedy bits. It had some horror parts too. I wish it was more into a specific genre, but it's all over the place. They're also too cozy with that killer even after they find out what he did. He's way too cozy with them! The ending left me completely bewildered as to what I just witnessed. Anticlimactic doesn't seem like the right term to describe it. It started off good, then... "Eh...? It's over?" Yeah, the movie has a very weak resolution. You have to see it to believe it. It's like they were running out of film and just said, "End it."

OK, so as usual I checked out IMDb before watching this movie, to see what I was up for. I read the first comment that appeared and took it to be a spoof of some sort. Then is started watching the movie and realized that it actually takes itself seriously. So next I assumed it would somehow be so bad, that it was funny again (which is the only reason I ever watch horror movies). Well, what can I say? I was wrong. There are a few scenes that will get you to chuckle a little, but nothing really funny. Without any comedy to speak of, you are left with an action movie, and that's where the problems really start. To sum up the movie, all I can think of is that none of the character's decisions after entering the house even remotely make any sense. To start with, the movie is set in Germany and everyone is American. That much would still fall within your normal action movie inaccuracies, but from that point it just rapidly goes downhill. I can't comment more on the details without spoilers, but take my word for it, nothing makes sense. So the only reason to watch this movie would be if you're hanging out with some friends and enjoy making fun of movies for their horrible plots (which I know to be a fun activity at times).