Find Yourself

It is a long drama, I agree with other reviews saying it should be at most 20 episodes, but I still enjoyed watching this. Once you get the grip of the story I wanted to know how the development of the characters was going to end, and didn't disappoint.

It's a drama about how social and personal expectations affect our decisions and how to be brave enough to ignore the pressure and be happy with yourself.

'I know a rich woman who hired a young gigolo; she said his skin was as smooth as a 🍼Baby 🐬Dolphin''s,' Fan's BFF wistfully recollects〰

FY is a fairytale for older single chicks. The story of Fan reminds me of the Princess Bride as I imagine it starting w/ the 32y/o Fan sitting in bed. Grandma, sitting bedside, pulls out a 📖 (entitled That 🍼🐬 is Mine). 'Tonight we'll read about the director & the intern who loves her,' starts grandma...

Soon it's all hitting the FAN. Or should we say she FANS the 🔥 of a walking lawsuit? Even in 🇨🇳, "doing" the intern is a no-no, so here we go!

"If humans all live the same way it would be boring, wouldn't it?" Marriage & kids, marriage & kids. It's all the older generation knows. The young-gen isn't much better 〰'You're pretty & you have it all together. Why do you want to go on blind dates?" 〰 'At age 32, you are considered a leftover woman.' 〰 'Look at your age - Don't be so picky.' 〰 "A virgin can't reincarnate, right?" This is what Fan is up against. She's reaching an expiration date, like the 4th yogurt from a buy-3-get-1-free deal. 'What others say about us is not scary. The scariest thing is when you believe it,' she despairs. What might be scarier is falling for your baby brother's student.

Victoria Song is "Fan". I 💖 her. In ep1 she meets ML#2. David Wang is "Ming". Sure, ML#1, the waif thin Song, is beautiful w/ skin as smooth as a 🍼🐬 & a compelling ML, but I fell hard for this Ming guy! Domineering? He isn't that, so much as driven. He can take it too far, but as a bf he's absolutely lovely. The handsome actor is manly while being funny & a tad ridiculous. He's also the Sun Tzu of human relationships. Ming's firm is a client of Amazing Decorations, Fan's employer. She has to apologize for a screw-up, which places her in his office. He's repugnant. Fan is submitted to a tirade of insults along w/ the news that AD is fired. Fan starts sobbing (it's a really bad day). He relents, but 1st impressions are cemented in. This starts a string of junctures between them.

He's convinced she's stalking him. By the time he realizes his misconception (falling for her utterly in the same moment) she's already fallen for Song. So when they meet up yet again (blind date), Ming switches gears & adopts the "Let's be friends" ruse. He wants her badly. He pre-ID'd his blind date & showed up ready to seal the deal. The viewer almost hears screeching brakes as he wriggles into her life. He 'came to this blind date to mollify his sister'. He 'already has someone' he likes, too. They 'can be friends'. She confides in him as she thinks he's a disinterested party. He jumps on her fumble & runs it back to the 5 yard line➡ he offers to be her romance coach.

The acting excels. Expressions & lines are full of life & wit. We like these people. Song Wei Long is Song. He's perfect at being a sexy, winsome puppy - sweet, loving & cuddly, but not too compliant, w/ a touch of the 🐕 in him. Yang is Fan's brother. He can really yang&bang - he's a college prof & a total playboy. Esther Yu (Love Between Fairy & Devil 8.9) is "Cai", Ming's niece. Her wavery voice is adorable.

Here's the seating chart: FL/Fan is Yang's twin & Song's boss at AD. Yang is Song's college prof & got him the job at AD. Yang is Cai's prof as well. Ming, client of AD, is Cai's uncle & guardian as she attends school. She stays w/ him on the w/e. Cai is in 💘 w/ Song. This leads to scenes in which Cai & Ming are both mourning over the same thing - their crush is in 💘 w/ someone else - but they don't know that their crushes are in love w/ e/o.

Fan cannot resist dating Song who is 10 yrs her jr, but 〰 'Do you think that's his gf?" 〰 "No way. She's too old." 〰 "She's not that old." 〰 "Maybe she's rich & he's a paid escort." Standards; Ideal mate; What do you want in a spouse? There's so many topics that Fan now finds uncomfortable! Fan is not a salmon. Going against the current is exhausting. She demands they keep /them/ a secret. She doesn't want to deal w/ professionals, coworkers, college frenemies, family, nosy neighbors, & random people on the street w/ their snark, condescension & judgment. She can't take the pressure! Song's a beautiful 🍼🐬; she's not that, either. She wants to try a relationship in a sedate & carefully cultured koi pond. Ming convinces her to try dating him to distract herself from her 💔. She breaks it off w/ Song. Yes, on 📑 Fan & Ming are perfect for e/o. Analytics will only get you to the playoffs. It doesn't necessarily win championships. When it comes to matters of the heart, the intangibles are what scores the 🏆

"Didn't you play flip the box in Kgarten?" "No, we played minesweeper & the loser had to buy lunch." FY depicts generational disconnect & how rigid the mindset of older people can be. Yet it's gentle w/ the elders & reinforces our obligations of deference & patience toward those who worked & sacrificed before us. Other themes are the disparity between the sexes & tossing out silly taboos along w/ the societal pressure that keeps them in place. Most of all, it's abt lies, including the struggle between truth as we want to see it & actual truth. FY is Fear>Deceit>Pride>Secrets>Relationship hierarchy>More lies>Gossip>Judgment>Expectations>Responsibilities>Finally, Freedom.

"Relationships between adults are usually maintained w/ white lies." 〰 "Where is the line between hiding & deceiving?" 〰 "Sometimes, a lie is like quenching thirst w/ poison." Fan gives it serious thought. "Perhaps lies are ice melting in truth. Eventually, there's no difference." Why do we lie? It's almost always for our own short-term comfort. Lying is like taking drugs. Comforting effects are temporary & the residue left behind is enslaving. Thus the adage: The truth will set you free. Society actually runs on lies, but that's not a good thing. James Spader, who falls for an older Susan Sarandon in the film White Palace, plays a reformed habitual liar in the movie Sex Lies & Videotape. He stopped lying altogether. It's portrayed as shocking. He was still kind - people who won't lie must know when to say nothing.

We lie to ourselves first, & the biggest lie we tell ourselves is that we're okay. The truth is that we all have lots to work on. We're all damaged, hurt, or spoiled in some way. To let go of lying we have to let go of pride. We're all better off without it; pride only obstructs 💘. Humans tend to complicate things endlessly. Fan must sort through heaps of societal garbage to arrive at what's really important. At the end of the day, things are simple. We just have to toss out the trash that's been thrown on top of us by family, friends, society, & ourselves, and grab onto the good.

The writing is excellent. There's humor & an understanding of human relations. The dialogue is snappy. The director is skillful w/ cutting & segues. He plays it well for comedy & there's a bright crispness to the flow. The pace is almost methodical - in the best way. Early on the viewer might wonder how they will fill 41 eps. They do it steadily. I can get a teensy bit stressed when I like a show, waiting for it to go downhill, as so many resort to padding & idiocy to fill the required eps. FY doesn't merely hold the line, it improves as it goes on. It's 1 of 2 modern-day Cdramas I've seen that aren't significantly flawed, (the other is A Little Thing Called First Love-8.5). 🇨🇳 is not a free country & it has seemed like they were at a loss as to how modern people should behave. It appears they've reflected on themselves & decided to get more real. Perhaps we can thank K🇰🇷. FY makes positive references to Kpop & dramas.

Now for the Scooby snacks:

〰"Being friends w/ your ex is the highest level of break-up." Seriously, can it get more 🇨🇳 than that?

〰On the wall of the office is inscribed: If you are always trying to be NORMAL you will never know how AMAZING you can be.

〰The family dynamics are cute. Fan's overprotective brother got in the way of all her romantic relationships when they were growing up. Ironically, he introduces Fan to her first 💘 after blocking 💘 for so many years.

〰The wardrobe contains some duds but has lots of winners. They had fun reinventing mens collared dress shirts. Fan accessories well.

〰Fan & Song play badminton. Determined to lose & not embarrass the other, each claims s/he is not a good player, though Fan could have made the nat'l team. Soon the competitive juices fire up w/ video game animation overlay to enhance the scene. It's very funny.

〰Ming's cousin is his assistant. They strictly set familial vs work boundaries. She keeps it all business on the 🕰 unless she requests a time out to talk to her cousin. Then their expressions, body language & demeanor will change instantly while they talk as family for a tad. Then it's back into work mode.

〰Ming only knows half of the equation & he says, "could it get more complicated than that?" Lol - It already is.

〰Fan protests- "I'm only 31... & 1/2..." The actress delivers superbly.

"A sense of belonging is, 'I am yours.' But a sense of security is, 'You are mine'." Young people want someone they like, older people want to find the right one. What does Ming want? He admits that he's childish, but he wants his destiny. FY tells us that's like hitting the jackpot🎰. Love at first sight is like winning the 🎰. Finding 💘 on a blind date? 🎰. Finding 💘 when a woman is over 30 is definitely like hitting the 🎰. Fan hits the super~🎰~schizzle. Cha-ching!

QUOTES📢

Men have a bad habit of being w/ their exes even if they don't have any feelings left

Siblings are debts from a prior life

Parents' tears drown relationships

〰🖍 IMHO

📣8.8 📝8.8 🎭8.5 💓8 🦋8 🎨7 🎵/🔊7 🔚8 ▪ 🌞7 ⚡2 😅5.5 😭3 😱0 😯3 😖0 🤔7 💤0

Poli-wagging 2/10

Age 14+ The primary couple does get it on prior to marriage and they do 😚 generate some steam.

Re-📺? 🔛

I really like a love story with an age gap, especially when the guy is younger than the girl. This one was great! It was romantic, emotional and funny. It was 41 episodes and I'm ashamed admitting I totally binge-watched the second half because I was so worried about the ending. Luckily the writers choose my happy ending. Nothing more to wish for.

When he smiled at her or teased her I couldn't help myself having a big smile on my face. ML and FL had great chemistry.

What a beautiful relationship the FL had with her brother and parents. Great working environment as well.

It comes on my favorites list.

Wonderful cast with Victoria Song and Song Weilong as headliners but everyone shines!! Available on Netflix and kudos to Netfix for giving us the chance to see this charming, insightful comedy of manners. The interplay between the cast members is outstanding. I have actually watched this three times in Netflix and purchased the DVD.

This drama portrays a modern take on love and relationship between a man and women. There are moments that are completely swoon worthy. And there are moments that are a bit boring. The on-screen chemistry is definitely apparent between the main leads and even the other couples within the show.

This is a must watch if you are bored of the normal "status-quo" type of romance dramas!!!