Death by 1000 Cuts

GREAT TITLE.

LOUSY execution.

You DON'T want to watch this awful movie. Don't blame me if you do - i have warned you.

Watching this movie is Death By A Thousand Cuts. Every horrible word of dialogue, every awful moment of acting, a slice into the flesh of the viewer who slowly bleeds out on their couch.

This cinematic abomination tries so hard to please everyone - the gorehounds, the artsy fartsy types, the avant-garde horror snobs - and instead, it just sucks at everything. The whole damn thing devolves into silly, repetitive situations that are definitely a misfire. And don't even get me started on the "found footage" segments; they were so badly done it's a miracle the news reporter, who looked like he was about to crack up, kept a straight face.

Seriously, Sam Salerno's debut, "The Dark Side of the Womb", was miles better. That film had a genuinely creepy, "Eraserhead"-esque atmosphere that I actually appreciated. Unfortunately, "Death by 1000 Cuts" lacked, well, pretty much everything. The attempt to blend surreal gothic elements felt incredibly forced and, honestly, cringe-worthy. It was like they were desperately trying to be edgy and stand out, but just ended up looking pathetic.

The only thing in this whole dumpster fire that wasn't a complete waste of celluloid was that bizarre face blanket made of human skin. Yeah, it was weird, but at least it was something, lol. So, I'm reluctantly giving this turd two stars - solely for that one moment of bizarre creativity. But to all you fellow gorehounds and horror fans out there, do yourselves a massive favor and hard pass on this movie.