The Resort

Nope. Nothing redeeming. I wish I would have seen these comments before I watched this. It's not even a good horrible film. I don't think I have ever left a review here before... But if it saves one person from wasting 75 minutes of their life, I'll be happy.

The only thing scary is the lost of time in your life. Take a 75 minute walk in the wood instead. A squirrel will be more excitement!

If I had anything to do with this movie, I would legally change my name and open a laundromat.

I'm ashamed of myself for watching this to the end.

Plot

Four friends head to Hawaii to investigate reports of a haunting at an abandoned resort in hopes of finding the infamous Half-Faced Girl. When they arrive, they soon learn you should be careful what you wish for.

Cast

Unfamiliar with anybody involved.

Verdict

Obnoxious 20 somethings celebrate a birthday by going somewhere they shouldn't, why is this such a remarkably common plot? Anyway standing at just 75 minutes it's a swift tale, full of talking, and travelling and then when the action kicks off it's over before you can say "Has it started yet?".

But even then I didn't hate it, parts had been competent as had the character development but what ruins it are the closing moments which unfortunately involve a twist I'd called within the first quarter of the film.

The final moment is so bad and so cliched It flatlined any hope The Resort had of being memorable, entertaining or standing out from the crowd.

Rants

Why do they keep doing that "Twist" I mean I'm not going to spoil it here but I'm so very very tired of it. It makes up an alarmingly high percentage of horror films, you'll see it coming and I've off the top of my head not known a single instance where it actually works! It's one of those twists that horror filmmakers seem to tack on because they can't think of a decent ending. Enough already, you know what I'm talking about just stop it.

Breakdown

Decent character development Has it's moments Slow burn to very little Awful "Action" sequences Dreadful predictable finale.

You have your 10, the shallow blond, the scrawny cynic as the jack, the smart driven girl as the queen, the sensitive buff guy as the king and the ace, the infamous half faced girl, all of the mediocrity suit. The hand checks all the boxes. Guess what happens. Exactly. Guess in which order they exit stage left. You're spot on. Guess the ending. You're on fire today. Granted there are only three horror plots; what makes or breaks a horror is everything but the story, and on those fronts this movie proves as flat as the beer you left on the kitchen counter overnight. Not recommended for consumption.