Bettie XOXO

Bettie Page, not among my dream girls or favorites at all, remains the iconic figure of her era and this A & E release attempts to capitalize on her fame and notoriety. Unfortunately, Jim Malibu and his team do a terrible job, with Incomplete or F the only grades warranted for the final result.

With black wig and suitable undergarments, Ava Rose is visually okay impersonating the legend, but her acting doesn't show up for work. Neither does a story (Nia St. Ives gets script credit) as director Malibu starts with a vague notion of Tommy Gunn as a photographer becoming obsessed by the beauty after a chance meeting in a park. The unsavory porn journeyman "Dirty Harry" plays Tommy's agent and at first seems to be manipulating his client, but that bit of plot is abandoned soon after, the telltale sign of an inept porn project.

Various other models show up in attractive costumes, but it's all filler. Some of the sequences are little more than still photo montages, looking more like out-takes from the BTS short subject than actual feature content. We end up with rudimentary sex scenes and fetish costuming, quite a step down from Adam & Eve's glory days of creativity less than a decade earlier.

Gunn ends the picture by musing "Was it all a dream?", inadvertently referencing the lamest of all porno (and cinematic) gimmicks.