The Curse of La Patasola

Does "La Patasola" translate to "insufferable Liberal moonbat"? Jesus, I could not wait for that character to get hoovered by the forest vampire. The worst curse in this movie is Naomi.

Dial back all the political and racial conversations I usually watch movies to get away from, and there's some quality at the core.

The trailer gets you in and you think it could be good but trust me its not. Terrible dialogue, terrible acting. The guy Daniel you want to hit in the face with a brick. Its one of those one you root for the killer to show up and kill everyone so it can be over.

Do yourself a favor and look elsewhere.

I could be here for hours typing out every reason this movie is awful. I never write reviews because I have better things to do, but this deserved a little more of my time.

In short, awful characters, cheesy as hell, predictable, poorly executed, inconsistent, etc. Zero cool death scenes to redeem it! There's also nothing vampire-like about the Pasatola like the movie description said. I expected it to be like a La Llarona knock off but it's not even that good. On the bright side, it's a true inspiration for anyone thinking about taking a shot at their own low budget movie. Literally anyone could do better.

A bad combination of both makes a bad movie, which this is. The plot is a hot mess while the characters are very shallow and they all seem to be vying for the most disliked person award. The ending does not make any sense whatsoever.

A definite pass for me.

But to make a horror movie like this, even on homemade scale and underbudgeted, and with such headshaking and so inconcievably unconvincing actors talking dull dialouges in the car, the tent and around the camp fire, well youll be unfortunate if you find anything worse than this.

Stay away is the grumpy old mans advice.