Project Legion

This is one of those afterparty 2 AM "hey, let's all get high and make a movie" ideas. Normally everyone sobers up the next day and the idea is forgotten. Not this lot.

First they wrote the script:

An apartment. A guy is inside. The door is closed. Guy yells at door. The end.

Then they held a casting call:

"I put the people with talent in room A and everyone who couldn't act in room B." "Uh oh, I just sent everyone in room A home." "That leaves us with someone named Cowboy, a former Playboy Playmate with more miles on her than Greyhound, and a woman best filmed in a really dark hallway." "Good enough."

Then they chose a director:

"You do it!" "No, you do it!" "Fine, I'll do it. What's a director do anyway?"

Then they chose a location:

"I know an abandoned mental institution with a giant exhaust fan at the end of the hall." "Perfect!" "Really?"

Then they started filming:

"We only have the camera for one day. Everyone try to arrive by 9 AM." "And... cut! Good job everyone. Let's grab an early lunch."

Into the editing room:

"Uh oh, the video software license expired." "We only had just enough film anyway."

And release:

"How much do we have left over from the $1000 we raised?"

Unwatchable. Three stars.

Of course you know it's not going to be a classic when your lead actor is a retired MMA fighter. Donald Cerrone is a bad actor and has no on screen charisma whatsoever. Watching his "I am Legend" routine is like watching a crackhead suffering from paranoid delusional schizophrenia episodses hide out in a cockroach infested motel room for an hour. Everything about this movie is crumby. It's a lame story with lame action and lame suspense and a lame plot. You could probably make a better movie with a bunch of your friends having a party in any roadside flea ridden desert motel room and using your own cell phone as a movie camera. This trash film is seriously that poorly made. 2 Stars for the Hilarious effort and a couple of chuckles, watching this dumpster fire of a video unfold into the abyss of Nothingness.

I hadn't heard about this 2022 movie titled "Project Legion" before sitting down to watch it. However, I must say that the movie's synopsis sounded interesting enough.

I am rather amazed that writers Lance Kawas, Michael Pizzimenti, James Raptoplous and John Sullivan could collectively managed to churn out something as bad as what "Project Legion" turned out to be. Strange why not a single writer would stop and go 'something is amiss here'. The storyline in this movie was utter rubbish and just downright laughably poor written.

Now, I have no idea who Donald "Cowboy" Cerrone is, nor do I have any urge to find out. But a leading actor capable of carrying a movie he was not. The acting in this movie was every bit as wooden, rigid and bad as the script and storyline. So at least those went hand in hand.

Visually then "Project Legion" was actually okay. But the special effects could do nothing to lift up the movie, given its total absense of a properly functioning storyline and lack of proper acting.

Trust me when I say that "Project Legion" is not worth the time, money or effort. I even fell asleep during the ordeal of sitting through this movie. I ended up just turning off the movie not even having made it 40 minutes into the 90 minutes that the movie ran for. And believe me when I say that I am not ever returning to give "Project Legion" a second chance.

"Project Legion" was through and through a massive swing and a miss. I am sure that the concept idea for "Project Legion" might have worked out well enough in the idea phase of its creation, but the transition from idea to script and finally on to the screen just didn't work.

My rating of "Project Legion" lands on a two out of ten stars.

I have to admit, I didn't watch this. I gave it the old college try, but after 15 min, depression set in, followed by regret, then the strong desire to drink coupled with thoughts of suicide.

That's how bad this movie was. I've seen movies with smaller budgets do better. Believe me, money wasn't the issue. You need a decent lead actor (box unchecked), A story that makes some sort of sense (box unchecked), a real producer, you know, one of them fancy college people (box unchecked), and maybe a plan. (box also unchecked) This movie didn't appear to have any of those. So many scenes in such a short period of time didn't make sense, it almost felt purposefully done. A weird disjointed "sex" scene. Crazy Bollywood ghost lady in the hallway, stereotypical black spec ops dude talking about getting laid as soon as he gets home. Whew, it got tiring real fast to the point where I simply had to turn it off. It seems Hollywood is churning out so much this garbage, I'm almost ready to do an Elvis Presley and put a bullet in the TV and take up knitting or quilt making.

A hardened soldier wakes up to some catastrophe. As someone bangs on his door he acts more like a confused yuppy who figures hollering through the door will scare the door knocker away. Many errors in the movie make this a bonafide garbage fire. Lights flickering on and off yet TV stays on. Laptop shows white noise as a tv would. Plays a multiple voicemails on his phone. While listening to them he literally screams into the phone HELLO multiple times. The director needs to rethink his career choices if this is the garbage he is going to put out. The only thing scary about this movie is I wasted time watching it.