Meet Monica Velour

Let's say you're tired of slack-brained comedies dealing with mature subjects the prepubescent way. Let's say you've watched your fair share of raunchy comedies with heart and are now just looking for the "heart." And let's say you want a film that doesn't sacrifice performances for writing or vice-versa. You may want to listen up here.

Keith Bearden's Meet Monica Velour is a mature film about a mature subject, which is coming-of-age and entering reality after being confined to a fantasy that one has developed over a long period of time. It centers around Tobe (Dustin Ingram), a shy seventeen year old who has an undying fascination with classic movies, music, and pornography. He lives with his cantankerous grandfather (Brian Dennehy) and his best friend is only twelve years old. But the person he loves more than these two combined is Monica Velour, a sexy porn star who made a living doing seventies exploitation flicks. Tobe's deep fascination with the woman only increases because she has faded into complete obscurity, no longer acting and not leaving any traces behind.

When Tobe discovers the one and only Monica Velour will be appearing at a strip club, he makes the long commute to not only meet her, but also sell the only car he has - an bulky van with a gigantic hot dog attached to the roof. When he finally arrives at the strip club, the woman he sees isn't quite who everyone would label attractive. Monica (Kim Cattrall) is now an aging, deeply unhappy woman, juggling child-custody, a deadbeat boyfriend, her uncompromising and somewhat-regrettable legacy, and constant ridiculing for her life choices. Tobe is still undeniably starstruck when he meets the woman, and strikes up a friendship after he is assaulted at the bar by a group of thugs.

The biggest problem with Monica's relationship with Tobe is that Tobe lives in, what appears to be, another reality, one where Monica is still the incredible porn-goddess she once was and where problems can be fixed by ditching life's current situation in favor of what looks to be a long-term solution. Monica views Tobe's decision-making as reckless and lethal to her stability, but can't shake the thought that he is a young, starstruck soul with more of a voice than most of the other kids his age. It's that conflict and the enormous age difference that makes their relationship thrive.

Cattrall is a wise choice for Monica. She is the right amount of sexy for the role, but she is also the right amount of brains and intelligence as well, as she plays Monica with a sense of helplessness but also bravery. Here's a woman that has been broken numerous times, and here she stands, beaten, torn, and clearly roughed-up. But she's not giving up; she's too powerful for that.

Ingram plays Tobe effectively too, humanizing what could've been the most stereotypical, unlikable nerd. Rather than making him insufferably quirky and unrealistically inept like, say, his doppelganger Napoleon Dynamite, Bearden turns the character into a likable man with a real heart and wit to his strange, socially awkward nature. He's not all skin and quirks, and the movie actually gives him a firm leg to stand on.

Meet Monica Velour is, uniformly, a quiet film. The film moves quickly, but not too quickly as to where it is easy to forget. The ethics and choices of the characters demand contemplation (even if some - including the climax - seem to be a bit forced), the commentary it includes on the porn world outside of the STD-craze is noteworthy, and the cinematography and locational beauty of the entire project is, at the very least, nicely displayed throughout the course of the film. Throw in great performances from Cattrall - who may be giving her career-worthy performance here - and a nice introduction into film from Ingram and you have a winning film.

Starring: Dustin Ingram and Kim Cattrall. Directed by: Keith Bearden.

"Why can't you like normal stuff like everybody else?" Toby is a nerd. He likes things no one else does like 1920's music, but his favorite thing of all is former adult film star Monica Velour (Cattrall). After his Grandfather (Dennehy) insults him one too many times Toby decides to leave, and meets Monica. This is the type of movie that when you watch you like it, but when its over and you look back on it you start to like it more and more. I snickered a few times watching, but when I remember the lines and context I laugh harder. This movie is a surprisingly sweet coming of age tale about a boy on his way up and a woman on her way down. I have a bad habit of, for lack of a better word, over-simplifying a review by comparing it to movies people have heard of. That said...this movie is a cross between "Napolean Dynamite" and "Boogie Nights". If Napolean met the Julianna Moore character from "Boogie Nights" you would have this movie. I will have to say the Kim Cattrall is the perfect choice for this movie and while not being the total opposite of Samantha she is more of a burnt out version of that character. I would love to see at least a Golden Globe nomination for her for this, but I doubt that will happen. Overall, a good movie that will grow on you. I give it a B

Would I watch again? - I think I might

*Also try - Elektra Luxx

Wow, who knew? "Meet Monica Velour" turned out to be a rather unique and charming comedy unlike most other teenage comedies. And while it may not be the type of comedy that will have you laughing your heart out, it is the type of movie that sinks right into the heart and sticks with you.

The story is about 17 year old Tobe Hobert (played by Dustin Ingram), an awkward teenager who travels across USA in an old hot dog vendor van to see a rare performance by Monica Velour (played by Kim Cattrall), his favorite porn star from the 1980s. An odd friendship blossoms between the smitten teenager and the struggling former porn actress.

It is the odd and unique storyline that makes "Meet Monica Velour" such an enjoyable movie, and the permeated sense of real life as well. But also the amazing performances by Dustin Ingram and Kim Cattrall.

"Meet Monica Velour" was really a surprise of a movie, and I was genuinely entertained by the story and performances.

If you haven't seen this fabulous movie, then you should really take yourself an hour and a half to watch "Meet Monica Velour". This movie scores a rock-solid seven out of ten stars from me.

So what happens to the sexual acrobats from porn's so-called Golden Age, the 70's and early 80's? Like Marilyn Chambers, Linda Lovelace, Tracy Lords? In an inspired bit of casting, Kim Cattrall, is playing Monica Velour, who was a former centerfold and star of porn classics such as "Saturday Night Beaver" and "Frankenbooty" (the titles and cover art of her porn filmography is rather hilarious) but is now trying to get gigs stripping in decrepit titty bars in rural Indiana, where she lives in a trailer. Kim would strike it big as the perpetually horny Samantha in "Sex and the City" although men of a certain age will best remember her as a hot gym teacher in "Porky's" nicknamed "Lassie" because she loved to have sex in the gym laundry room where the smell of stinky jockstraps while engaging in coitus would eventually get her howling.

Tobe, a way too typical nerdish 17 yr old drives to IN to meet his favorite porn star, although one wonders how in the world he would have discovered her. Not much happens in this, there's a sub-plot about Monica wanting to get custody of her young daughter and of course Tobe ends up losing his virginity to Monica, not a bad way to start, even if Monica Velour is a bit overweight, jaded and quite disheveled by this point in life. Could have been better if they hadn't gone too far over the top with Tobe's character, copying "Napoleon Dynamite" Kim Cattrall turns in a great performance.

Looked at as a whole, Meet Monica Velour is missing some key elements that would make audience members walk away saying, "Wow." The cinematography reminds me of riding in the car with my 85 year old grandfather when I was a kid...it feels like you're not even moving. The director seems to have been too much of a rule-follower, as if he was following class notes in numerical order. However, the cast was wisely chosen and the poor technical issues of the film can be overlooked because of the commitment of the actors. It's possible to get lost in a story, to forget about the poor technical issues, if the story is well told - that's what happened in Meet Monica Velour. In particular, Kim Cattrall is so convincing in this lead role, so enveloped in this character, that one might begin to wonder if and why Hollywood shut her out so early. This film proves that they could have had another Meryl Streep on their hands, and they let her go. I'm certain the producers of Meet Monica Velour are thankful that they did.